Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Thursday, March 10, 2016
Necklace: Urban Outfitters
"I just sit in silence. Let the pictures soak." - Daughter
Just checking in to let you all know that I'm not dead, well not physically anyway. Sometimes I feel dead and don't know if I can call what I'm doing living. Sometimes the best part of my day is watching a person who has it worse than me on some TV show or movie. So, yeah. How's that for an opening after 3 months of radio silence?
Don't get me wrong. I do have positives in my life. My kids are awesome, and Jerry is just about the best partner in crime in this thing I call a life that I could possibly ask for, but I'm a pessimist, so I focus on the negatives. It's what I do. However, despite seeing the world half empty, I've always treated others with respect and feel I have gone above and beyond to be a nice person. Lately, though, something has changed in me, and I have zero tolerance for people's bullshit.
I've always been the type of person that avoids conflict at all cost. I would much rather concede an argument and be fake nice to someone rather than stand up for myself. I just felt like that was the right thing to do, but now I'm like "fuck that." Literally. I cussed somebody out for the first time in real life a few weeks ago, and it felt fucking fantastic.
Now, I'm not trying to promote going around cussing everybody out and being a complete asshole. No, I'm all about more peace and love in the world. I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. There are some people out there who are never satisfied with anything and treat other people like shit for no good reason. and as far as I'm concerned, those people deserve a good cussing out.
I don't know what it is that has caused this change in me. Maybe it's the fact that I've pretty much lived my whole life to please my mother, and she has never been satisfied with me. In fact, it's gotten so bad that she hasn't spoken to me in 2 months. The sad thing is that I don't even know what I've done this time that is so awful that she can't even acknowledge me as a human fucking being. I guess she is just generally disappointed in me as a person and has finally given up on a lost cause. No, I haven't killed anyone. No, I haven't gone to jail. No, I haven't been addicted to drugs. Her 2 biggest complaints: I suck at finances, and I'm not a morning person. Yes, folks, my mother would love me if only I had a banging bank account and left the house earlier each day. Truth is, though, if it wasn't those things, it would be something else. After 39 years, I've finally learned that it's her, not me.
So, yeah, I've found myself being a little more testy with shitty people lately, and it feels strangely empowering. It used to tear my nerves up to be mad at someone, but my old, jaded ass don't even care anymore. Of course, the ultimate test of this new and bad ass me will be if I ever stand up to my mother. For now, we pass each other in silence.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Friday, December 4, 2015
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Boots: Frye Melissa Button Boots
Earrings: Anthropologie Metis Drops
"Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days..." - twenty one pilots
I figured I'd better post an outfit before newcomers think this is a damn Halloween blog, so here you go - my first true Fall outfit of the year. The Fall Wedding one doesn't count because that dress was paper thin, and I was wearing open-toed shoes. I just looked it up, and Winter starts December 22, so I've got exactly one month to make up for my lack of outfit posts during my favorite time of the year. It just hasn't gotten consistently cold here yet. I've literally worn flip flops one day and boots the next. Yes, I'm going to blame my lack of posts on the weather, because it surely isn't due to my shitty blogging skills.
Anyway, it finally got cold enough on this particular day to break out the Frye boots and a new cozy dress. This dress is one of those rare beasts - a sweater weight dress that doesn't feel like a tobacco sheet. For you city slickers, that's the extremely rough and itchy material that cured tobacco is wrapped in to take to market. I used to love to go to the tobacco warehouse with my "deddy" and sit on a sheet of tobacco, drinking a Pepsi while the auctioneer walked by spouting his gibberish. For some reason, the feel of tobacco sheets didn't bother me much back then, but now, I don't want that mess anywhere near my skin. This dress is super soft and warm, and it hugs my curves beautifully without being too tight. And the earrings...have I told you about the earrings? I've had them for a few weeks now, and I've already found several different outfits that they go with perfectly, none more so than this one.
This door has been a favorite photo shoot location of ours for some time now, so I was disappointed to see that the glass had been broken. However, once I saw the photos, I thought the broken glass actually added something. I mean, I, myself, am certainly not as pristine as I was a few years ago. Life will do that to you. I'm 20 pounds heavier (still not a size 16 GOMI) and have a lot of my own "broken things." There has been quite a bit of renovation of buildings going on downtown the past couple of years. Many of the run down locations we used to use for shoots have been revitalized. This broken glass may be just what this door needs to get a new façade. Of course, it could just get boarded up like so many others. Here's hoping that the next time I visit this door, we will both be in a better state.
I freaking love this song. Anthem of my life.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
After last year's Halloween party was over, the first thing I said to myself was, "Never again." I had put so much planning and money into it to only have 4 people out of the 100 I invited come. Anytime the subject came up over the last year, Jerry would tell me that I didn't have many people because I had the party on the actual day of Halloween. I was pretty sure it was because people just don't like me. Whatever the reason, I stayed resolute in my decision to never throw another Halloween party again. And then September came and catalogs with Halloween costumes and decorations starting pouring into the mail...and I suddenly found myself planning another Halloween party. "It'll be different this time," I told myself. "I'll have it the day before Halloween." I was starting to sound like that guy in Pet Semetary who keeps bringing his loved ones back to life even though he knows they are going to come back evil as fuck.
This year's turn out was slightly better. I had 8 people, twice as many as last year, and those 8 people were freaking awesome. We had ourselves a good old time. However, the amount of stress this year's party put on me (or I should say I put on myself) was not so good. I had a full blown panic attack the night before the party. I'm not sure why. I think it was the perfect storm of a bad cold, my period, and the party. Anyway, I'm pretty sure this year's party was the last one ever...I mean it this time...
Just Chillin' Before the Party
No, not really. I knew I would be too stressed and busy to get good quality pics of my costume the day of the party, so we had a dress rehearsal a few days before. Hence, the pics in my last post.
One of my new Halloween decoration acquisitions this year was the "Enter If You Dare" Luminaries from Grandin Road. I did a homemade version last year because they had sold out, but this year I had the real deal. The bags themselves are really nice quality, but one of the bag's lights did go out on Halloween night. Apparently, if one of the lights goes, they all go. I thought they didn't make lights like that anymore?!? Anyway, I was able to find the culprit and get them back up and running. One Grandin Road product that did elude me this year was the Window Crasher Ghosts. I tried to purchase them a full 2 months before Halloween but they were already sold out. I thought they would look so awesome in my upstairs windows. Maybe next year...
We made 2 Jack-O-Lanterns with the kids this year. Jerry did the a cat one with my daughter, Kiley. I did a Freddy Fazbear with my son, Hudson. How'd I do?
Yeah, I suck.
I went a lot easier on the food front this year. Those witches fingers cookies were a pain in the ass last year and nobody ate them. This year was all about the balls: cheese balls, meatballs, and cake balls, oh my!
This is the same punch as last year except instead of eyeballs floating around in it, there is a frozen brain. I thought that worked well with our zombie theme. I got a brain mold and froze some of the punch in it. Easy, peasy.
Jerry has become quite the cake ball chef. They are his go-to for pot lucks now. So, it was a no-brainer that I would have him make them for the party. Of course, we put a Halloween twist on them and made them look like eyeballs with some gel icing and mini M&M's.
I saw this Nut Bowl in Target early in the Halloween season. I told myself I would come back for it, but when I did, it was no where to be found in the store. After 20 minutes of searching, I found the last one in the store on a random shelf. I did a little dance in the middle of Target. It doesn't take much to get me excited.
I went with a veggie tray this year over the chips and guacamole. It was a hit. In fact, all the food was a hit. I reprised the Spider Cheese Ball from last year, and Jerry made some of his famous meatballs that I stuck little Bat toothpicks into for some Halloween flare.
Shot in the Arm
I mixed it up for the Tempt Your Fate game penalty shots this year. Two of the shots were just your standard issue Fireballs, but three of them were a nasty little concoction called a Brain Hemorrhage. Jerry had one and he said they didn't taste bad but that the texture was really gross. Glad I didn't have to try one. Texture gets me every single time. I stuck with the eyeballs.
Let them eat cake...eyeballs.
We played 3 games this year: Tempt Your Fate, Die in the Wink of an Eye, and an out of the box game called Curses. I think Curses was the biggest hit. I highly recommend it for your next party. As with most things, the drunker you are, the better it is.
I displayed the family portraits that were the inspiration for our costumes on the game station.
Speaking of which, introducing their majesties, Queen Marie Antoinette and King Louis XVI.
Back from the dead and better than ever:
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Thigh Highs: Leg Avenue Opaque Thigh High With Satin Bow
Earrings: Anthropologie Cloudburst Chandeliers
Sorry I'm so late posting these, but as you can see, I've been very sick...