Friday, December 19, 2014

Four Eyes

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Glasses: Firmoo
Blouse: Anthropologie Honore Buttondown
Jeggings: Hue
Boots: Frye Melissa Button Boots
"Through all the things my eyes have seen the best by far is you." - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness
I think I told you guys in a few posts back that I had some free glasses coming my way just for being the awesome blogger that I am. Well, I got 'em, and I love 'em! Oh, and lest you think I'm just another hipster wannabe rocking some totally useless glasses, let me set your ass straight. These babies are prescription. That's right, these are the real deal.
You see, I've been pretty much blind as a bat since 4th grade and have worn glasses on a regular basis a total of 1 year since then. When 5th grade came around, I ditched those bad boys, got me some contacts, and never looked back. Sure, I've always had a pair to wear "around the house," but I wouldn't be caught dead in public wearing any of those. In the early years, I had those big, clear Coffee Talk glasses. They went real well with shoulder pads and big hair. In recent years, I've been all about the ones with lenses so small they border on microscopic. It was a miracle! People could hardly tell I was wearing glasses! Problem was, I could hardly tell I was wearing glasses too. The peripheral vision was non-existent in those.
When Firmoo contacted me last month and asked me if I'd like a free pair of glasses, I jumped at the opportunity to finally get a pair of glasses that were both functional and aesthetically pleasing. I know from experience that rectangular lenses fit my face the best and that brown is the best color with my skin tone, so using the convenient filtering feature that Firmoo has on their website, I was able to narrow down my search to a few contenders. Once I made my choice, I filled in the necessary information at checkout, including my prescription information that I requested from my eye doctor, and submitted my order. Around 2 weeks later, my new glasses arrived in the mail, and I couldn't be happier with them.

Friday, December 12, 2014

On Trend

Sweater: Anthropologie Sunday Draped Sweater
Top: Anthropologie Chiffon-Trimmed Scoopneck
Necklace: Anthropologie Wind Sway Necklace
Booties: Ruche Salinas Rodeo Booties

"I wanted you...I needed you to make me better." - The Decemberists

Let's talk about trends, shall we? It's interesting to me the ones that I find acceptable and the ones that I don't. I like to fancy myself as somewhat of a trend setter, but I know that's a joke. Is anyone really a trend setter? I mean, the world's been around a long fucking time, and we have access to limitless information. At this point, I don't think any of us have any truly original thoughts or preferences. We are all influenced by something. Besides, like Einstein said, it's all relative.

For instance, around my country hick town, I'm known as a fashionista. Hence, the title of my blog. I have people around here ask me all the time where I purchased something I'm wearing, and when I tell them, they are like, "Who? What?" If it ain't JC Penney's, Belks, or Walmart, you might as well be speaking a foreign language. On the flip side, I'm fully aware if I traipsed my backwoods ass around New York City like I was some kind of fashion expert, they would laugh me right out of town. Hey, I'm not the one wearing a pair of plain black pumps with OMG red bottoms that cost $1000, so who should be laughing at who in this situation? Again, it's all relative.

With that being said, I do have a general rule about trends that I try to follow. If I do ride the trend wave, I do so before it's peaked. Once that baby has peaked, I get the hell out and don't look back. How do you know when it's peaked, you ask? Oh, you'll know. When the Walmart elite are sporting IT during their weekly outing after church on Sunday, it's peaked. When you go out to dinner or to da club, and every girl looks like a damn clone because they are wearing IT, it's peaked. When your stomach turns and you feel like stabbing your eyes out at the mere sight of IT, it's peaked. Two of the biggest peakers on my shit list right now - Motherfucking Chevron and whatever in the hell you call this print:  
If I see one mo rug with this damn print...

Some trends are harder for me to let go of, though. There are two particular ones that I fear are peaking right now: Aztec Print and Tall Boots. Sigh. I'm not ready to quit either one of these yet. As a lover of all things Boho, they hold a special place in my heart. Also, tall boots are just plain warm and comfortable in the Winter, but I probably said that about combat boots in the 90's... I think the Aztec is going to be the easier of the two to give up. I'm already starting to feel little twinges in my stomach when I wear it now. I thought the skirt I'm wearing in this post was Aztec print, but Anthro says it's Fairisle. Hmm...maybe that will help psychologically, and I will be able to get more wear out of it. But the boots, man. The boots are going to be difficult. I recently put up two pairs of my beloved Frye boots for sale, and you would have thought I was selling my first born the way some folks reacted. I'm down to just one pair now, but I'm still wearing the shit out of them even though it makes me sick when I walk into a room and every. single. woman. has on a pair of tall boots. It also makes me sick when people put periods at the end of words in the middle of a sentence like that... 

I know I sound like such a trend snob. Like, I'm somehow better than everybody else because I don't participate in the current craze. It's something I see a lot of "hipsters" do. They feel somehow superior because they have convinced themselves that the things they are into are so original, but in reality, they all look the same too. They are still participating in trends, just different ones. I don't know. I'm not trying to be like that. It's just when I walk into that room and there's a sea of boots, I feel like such a sell out and embarrassed for all of us. But what do I know? I'm a middle class white girl with middle class white girl problems. If you like your Chevron and it makes you happy, don't mind me. I'm just another clone in boots.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Affair

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Boots: Frye Melissa Button Boots
Necklace: Anthropologie Aurora Necklace
"Take me to church. I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife. Offer me that deathless death. Good God, let me give you my life ." - Hozier

 Hi there! Don't worry, I'm not here to try and sell you some more clothes. I'm quickly becoming the fashion blogger equivalent of a door to door salesman. These kids are killing me, man, with their exorbitant Christmas demands. The dresses must be sacrificed!
So, did the title get your attention? I thought it might. The only time this old blog here got any substantial traffic was back when I shared the sordid details of my affair. Well, that and the time I said skinny bitches looked better in every single piece of clothing on earth except one particular dress. That dress, ironically, is one of my Christmas fund sacrifices and no one has bought it yet. Where my fat bitches at? There I go trying to sell you something again...  
The title refers to my favorite TV show at the moment - The Affair on Showtime. It's so good, and it's been bringing back some of the memories and feelings from my own little experience 4 years ago. It was the best and worst time in my life. A twisted little mixture of pleasure and pain that led me down the path I'm on today. Anyway, I love this show so much that I've been researching everything I can on it, and I have to say the comments on the show have been bringing me down.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the world who wants the 2 people having the affair on the show to get together permanently. Obviously, I'm bringing my own personal shit into my opinions, but I'll be damned if everyone wants them to stay in their miserable marriages. Women are all about Cole, the husband of one of the cheaters. "Poor Cole. He's sooooo good looking. Why would anyone want to leave him?" Um, maybe because he's a fucking drug dealer, and he's kind of an asshole. It's so weird to me that the majority of people have more of a problem with adultery than actual illegal acts like drug dealing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying adultery is pretty. It's some ugly business for everyone involved, and I think the show does a good job of capturing that. It's just when 2 people fall in love that love knows no bounds, vows, or pieces of paper. It's a very personal thing and when outsiders brand all affairs with the dreaded Scarlet Letter because of their own moral and religious beliefs, it pisses me off. In fact, most people's priorities in general piss me off. Ever heard the expression, "Gag at a gnat and swallow a camel?" Yeah, that's most people I come in contact with on a daily basis.
I don't want to get all political and shit, but what the hell? I've already pissed off fat people and religious people at this point and that's most of America right? I'm just hearing about this Eric Garner incident for the first time today. Eric Garner is a man that died of a heart attack after being put in a choke hold by a police officer. The whole incident was caught on camera, and the footage was very compelling. Apparently, Mr. Garner was in trouble for selling loose cigarettes. He was understandably upset with the cops for having to deal with such bullshit charges and was voicing his concerns in a non-violent manner. Suddenly, about 6 cops tackle Mr. Garner and one puts him in a choke hold. Granted, Mr. Garner was a big man, but the use of force by the cops is clearly excessive given the situation. Mr. Garner can chillingly be heard saying, "I can't breathe," several times before he loses consciousness. The cop who applied the choke hold to Mr. Garner was cleared of all potential charges today.
Why am I just hearing about this now? Why hasn't this been all over the news rather than the Michael Brown case? I mean, the one thing that was actually needed to make a case in the Michael Brown fiasco was a video camera, and we have that in this case. In my opinion, the Michael Brown case was handled fairly. With no video footage, the only evidence in the Michael Brown case was eye witness statements, the cop's statement, and physical evidence which, in my opinion, all supported the cop's version of events. The Eric Garner case is very different, though. I can't imagine anyone could watch that video and not think the cop deserved some kind of charges to be brought against him. It's ridiculous.
I guess what I'm trying to get at with all this is that is seems people put so much importance on the wrong things. I do it myself to a certain degree. I've been known to eat Cheerios for a week so I can buy a dress I really want. What the hell is wrong with us? Why do we do this? I mean, why did so many strangers all over the world care so much about my affair? I was called all sorts of nasty names and even had someone threaten to tell my employer. Because nothing says "I'm morally superior to you" like causing a complete stranger to lose their job so they can't provide for the children that they should have stayed in their miserable marriage for. Priorities, people, we need to get some. conquers all. Noah and Allison 4-ever! That is all.    

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Bonnie's Closet: Some Newer Items For Sale

Bonnie's Closet: Some Newer Items For Sale: Anthropologie Inez Swing Dress Size 8 (Only Worn Twice) - $130 shipped Anthropologie Perenne Shirtdress Size M (Only Worn Once) - $...

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Bonnie's Closet: Winter Sale

Bonnie's Closet: Winter Sale: Anthropologie Dipped Lace Marled Sweater Size M - $20 shipped Anthropologie One After Another Cardigan Size S - $20 shipped ...

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Halloween Party

Since I mentioned my Halloween party in my last post, I thought I would share some photos from that night. I mean, what's the point of doing anything these days if you can't show off how awesome it was on the Internet? In reality, it was very stressful and expensive. The whole day I was setting everything up for the party, I kept repeating to myself like Edgar Allan Poe's Raven, "Nevermore." I've checked this one off my bucket list, and I'm pretty sure I won't be hosting one of these again. Don't get me wrong, it was fun, even with only 4 people, but I'm no good at these things. Hosting parties doesn't come effortlessly to me like some. Martha Stewart, I ain't.
"Enter If You Dare" Luminaries
I wish I would have gotten a picture of these lit up at night. I used battery powered flicking lights, and the effect was very spooky. I ordered these orange translucent bags from Etsy. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find large orange bags, even on the Internet! Jerry printed the letters out on card stock, and then cut and adhered them to the bags with double sided tape. We threw some dirt into the bottom of them for stability. I was really happy with how they turned out. Here's a photo of the luminaries I was trying to copy. These were from Grandin Road for $100:

Our Haunted House
My 10 year old son suggested we change the 1 in our house number to a 6 for Halloween, so our house number would be "666." I never got around to doing it, but I'm so proud of my little Satanist for his creativity...

Banjo Playing Skeleton
My favorite Halloween purchase this year. I'm easily amused.

The Spooky Spread
Doesn't look like much, but damn if it didn't take me all day to make this shit.

 Spooky Tree Cheese Cubes and Spider Cheese Ball
 Vomiting Pumpkin Guacamole and Haunted Trail Mix
 Severed Finger Cookies
Tree Toothpicks from Crate and Barrel

 Eyeball Punch

Shot in the Arm
I made some really nasty shots called Gangrene to put in this arm. They were used as punishment in one of the games. I got the recipe and game idea on a Halloween forum.

 Game Station
 Tempt Your Fate
This is the only game we ended up playing since there were only 6 of us at the party. There were some prizes won, and some bad fates that everyone seemed to have a good time with. Although, one of my guests got sick from the dreaded Gangrene shot.
 Die in the Wink of an Eye
This is our spin on the Winking Murderer Game. We worked really hard on this one, so it was a shame we didn't have enough people at the party to play it. Oh, and Jerry would like everyone to know that he came up with the name...He's creative, that one.

 Wax Sealed Cards
These cards were suppose to be handed out to each person as they arrived at the party. I thought the wax seals were a nice touch.
 Murderer Card
 Victim Card
Last, but not least, some pictures of the Hostess and her extremely masculine assistant. Not many men can pull off a skirt. Nice legs, Antony!

Queen Cleopatra

 I had a hard time deciding on a costume this year. In the end, I went with Cleopatra because it looked comfortable (maxi dress, holla!), and I wanted to have fun with some eye makeup.


Cleopatra and Antony
Tragic Lovers - How Apropos!