Time

Hey, you! It's been awhile. I've been feeling that itch to write again, and I've actually had a few of you contact me asking me to blog, so here I am. I'm not sure how often I'm going to do this or any other particulars for that matter, but this is a start. These photos were from back in October. Jerry and I were just playing around in the backyard, so I could get a good updated profile pic for my social media accounts. It's been really cold and rainy here for weeks now, so I haven't felt like getting out in that to take photos. These old photos will just have to suffice. At least I'm wearing actual clothes. I mostly just wear pajamas every day since Covid graced us with its insidious presence. I'm hoping that blogging will force me to dress like a respectable human being again or at the very least to put on a bra.

It's hard to believe that it has been 10 years since all that drama went down on this blog. I guess there has been a lot of drama on this blog and in my life in general, but you know which drama I'm referring to, right? I'll give you a hint: It was a sordid "affair." Well, that little affair is going on ten years now. I am still very much in love with my soulmate and photographer boyfriend, Jerry. He has helped me raise my three kids, and they love him too. My eldest is in college now, after graduating in the top of his class in high school. He was also the conference champion in cross country 2 years in a row. I'm quite proud. My other two are teens, ages 16 and 13. They both do well in school, and my daughter is a competitive dancer in ballet, pointe, jazz, lyrical and contemporary. Oh, and they have all read my blog, and they think that it's awesome! They aren't scarred mentally for life like so many of my haters predicted would happen. So, fuck you very much, haters! Success is the best revenge.

As much as things change, some things stay the same. I still struggle with anxiety and depression. In some ways, it's worse than ever. Aging is really fucking with my head, both my own aging and the aging of those around me. Jerry and I were just talking this morning about time. I told him that it seemed to me that time went so slow from years 0 - 20 , but years 20-43 have flown by so fast. I feel like I just had my kids a few years ago, and now, here I am with old age just around the corner. He actually had a theory to back up my perception. He said that at age 10, 1 year is 1/10th of your life, but at age 50, 1 year is 1/50th of your life. Therefore, when you are older each year is a smaller percentage of the total life you have lived which means we perceive time as going by faster when we are older than we did when we were younger. Mmm...I love it when he talks nerdy to me. Math is so sexy. Seriously, though, this makes sense to me.

Well, I guess that's enough for now. This felt good. I think this is just what I need in my life right now, so thank you to the readers who pushed me to get back into it. I hope to be back soon with more riveting details of my so-called midlife.