tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24939877226915422902024-03-14T05:21:53.520-04:00Small Town FashionistaBlooming Most RecklesslyBonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.comBlogger764125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-31429677987803661672021-03-22T23:57:00.000-04:002021-03-22T23:57:28.733-04:00Warming Up<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K2YNRww9gp4/YFlhwoGerpI/AAAAAAAAImM/IYk0pf-wQWUvxC88kGuwlUnI6LPSLPAGQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1331" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K2YNRww9gp4/YFlhwoGerpI/AAAAAAAAImM/IYk0pf-wQWUvxC88kGuwlUnI6LPSLPAGQCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/1.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y6GqzTuGlyk/YFlhwh5TUUI/AAAAAAAAImQ/2IPjSI6lY2kXOZ4jt2ORcqLFHsLKPBgbACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1390" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y6GqzTuGlyk/YFlhwh5TUUI/AAAAAAAAImQ/2IPjSI6lY2kXOZ4jt2ORcqLFHsLKPBgbACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/2.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_3n9qfzIOGQ/YFlhwiH2-sI/AAAAAAAAImI/zRwRlk1AdyctJN30-0ZrPAHtptsS4KzfgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1541" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_3n9qfzIOGQ/YFlhwiH2-sI/AAAAAAAAImI/zRwRlk1AdyctJN30-0ZrPAHtptsS4KzfgCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/3.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6eS4dvPkpcc/YFlhw7RrQ7I/AAAAAAAAImU/lIbkEOHCoqE3lcAKpuy8LWbEVbh8xLA2wCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6eS4dvPkpcc/YFlhw7RrQ7I/AAAAAAAAImU/lIbkEOHCoqE3lcAKpuy8LWbEVbh8xLA2wCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/4.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Dc8phDiFPM/YFlhxPMCcjI/AAAAAAAAImY/ggz1UiFyV1sbHsDWGIEl1B9V0UEBDl67gCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1433" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Dc8phDiFPM/YFlhxPMCcjI/AAAAAAAAImY/ggz1UiFyV1sbHsDWGIEl1B9V0UEBDl67gCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/5.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uMchCyBv-ww/YFlhxWpDxGI/AAAAAAAAImc/xdtC159a6ekPpD1tLtkSCp9Tf0ScdWAvwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uMchCyBv-ww/YFlhxWpDxGI/AAAAAAAAImc/xdtC159a6ekPpD1tLtkSCp9Tf0ScdWAvwCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/6.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TtCZkxUKj9c/YFlhxvCk4CI/AAAAAAAAImg/ie-E6eJ8rTkcR7yWb_aBM6W6cSLokVXjwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TtCZkxUKj9c/YFlhxvCk4CI/AAAAAAAAImg/ie-E6eJ8rTkcR7yWb_aBM6W6cSLokVXjwCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/7.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-teVZE6S2KNI/YFlhx4RFZwI/AAAAAAAAImk/DiaSO5lKQz8BTBblY5WLApa5eKs1txS2wCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1333" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-teVZE6S2KNI/YFlhx4RFZwI/AAAAAAAAImk/DiaSO5lKQz8BTBblY5WLApa5eKs1txS2wCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/8.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> Kimono: Kantha Bae</div><div style="text-align: center;">Tank Top: American Eagle</div><div style="text-align: center;">Pants: Free People</div><div style="text-align: center;">Shoes: American Eagle</div><div style="text-align: center;">Earrings and Butterfly Necklace: Roots and Feathers</div><div style="text-align: center;">Macramé Amethyst Necklace: Palm Pot</div><div style="text-align: center;">Bracelets and Ring: Three Bird Nest</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"Feel some change in the weather, I couldn't though I'm beginning to...One warm day is all I really need." - Fleet Foxes</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Finally. Some new fucking content. It's just been too damn cold to get out a take pics...until today. Yep, this is some certified fresh content right here. We took these just this afternoon. Ok. I'm going to keep this post brief and go back into hibernation...for now. Just know that I've been really inspired by a new brand that I discovered a month ago as well as fiscally stimulated by the latest stimulus package. Ok, that sounded really unintentionally sexual... Anyway, I've got lots of new fashion content coming your way! I'm just getting warmed up! </div><p></p>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-50468655294132611722021-02-13T14:10:00.002-05:002021-02-13T14:33:11.263-05:00The School of Life<div style="text-align: left;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50931743931/in/photostream/" title="Untitled"><img alt="Untitled" height="1600" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50931743931_26c85f77b1_h.jpg" width="1200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oYQNnjOAkKM/YCgmZCaDNaI/AAAAAAAAIlc/xV7Tqopfwj0TsFmuPg2KBPQiNz1CX57IACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/50931743941_e2c4d2cf0d_k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oYQNnjOAkKM/YCgmZCaDNaI/AAAAAAAAIlc/xV7Tqopfwj0TsFmuPg2KBPQiNz1CX57IACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/50931743941_e2c4d2cf0d_k.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IHsyd3Pbh2o/YCdkSVQXgWI/AAAAAAAAIlU/QEIRoPn9F2od0j_ArMukHaFxLIcQ3hLqwCPcBGAYYCw/s2048/50931743866_aa4cb1ca04_k.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IHsyd3Pbh2o/YCdkSVQXgWI/AAAAAAAAIlU/QEIRoPn9F2od0j_ArMukHaFxLIcQ3hLqwCPcBGAYYCw/s16000/50931743866_aa4cb1ca04_k.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YEUnu8qwMDw/YCTVV_htlrI/AAAAAAAAIlI/0f0qpsqHKx0DOcq470-8J8Iq08ucRc3IgCPcBGAYYCw/s16000/50931862842_ec0468a617_k.jpg" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;">Robe: Spell and the Gypsy Luna Short Robe</div><div style="text-align: center;">Pants and Tank: American Eagle</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"Then I see you, you're walking 'cross the campus, cruel professor, studying romances." - Vampire Weekend</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">These photos aren't the best quality. They were taken on a balmy night back in August with my Iphone. After a long day of visiting my son at his university, Jerry and I decided to go exploring around the campus. We came upon this graffitied tunnel called the "Free Expression Tunnel." It was instantly my favorite spot. I much preferred this colorful shrine to the thoughts, ideas and creativity of the students over the usual stuffy and pretentious university trappings.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In my last post, I talked about how I had engaged in some research over the years and worked on myself as a person. Self-help books and websites were a big part of that journey, but another source that was and still is of great help to me is a YouTube channel called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog" target="_blank">The School of Life</a>. Some of the videos on this channel were an epiphany for me. The very <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvgfucVF5cU" target="_blank">first video I watched</a> perfectly described and explained things I had struggled with my entire life. Tears streamed down my face as I watched it, because it hit so close to home. It felt like I was finally understood. Even Jerry doesn't fully understand my level of self-loathing. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The School of Life covers all kinds of topics like self-help, relationships, and philosophy. I find that its views on most things align with my own. Its views on relationships in particular are interesting... Longtime readers of this blog will recall that I was relentlessly attacked, because I divulged the details of my affair. I was told that I should be ashamed and that it was cruel for me speak of it even on my own platform. I was labeled all kinds of unpleasant things by complete strangers and told by many of them that I "stole" Jerry. I was also told that Jerry would eventually cheat on me because he's a "cheater." I always maintained that I would prefer for him to be with someone else if he didn't want to be with me. Yes, it would be painful to let him go, but because I love him, I would always want to see him happy even if that meant not being with me. I balked at this notion that people have to stay together out of duty and that people somehow "own" each other like property and can be "stolen." I was made to feel like my views on relationships were that of a disturb, depraved individual.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Well, imagine my feeling of validation when I watched several School of Life videos on affairs and discovered that they pretty much agreed with me. I can no longer find the videos, but I did find this transcript of one of them <a href="https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/a-brief-history-of-affairs/" target="_blank">here</a>. Basically, The School of Life maintains that attitudes towards affairs have changed throughout history and that they are so frowned upon in modern times as a result of the Romanticism movement. They propose that it is unrealistic to believe that a marriage can fulfill all of one's needs. An ideal society would be one in which people marry for love but would be able to fulfill other needs outside of the marriage, including sex. However, this is a near impossibility because of the part of human brains that causes jealousy. This is definitely a sticking point for me. I know that I couldn't help but feel jealous and upset if Jerry wanted to be with someone else, and he has told me that he feels the same about me. However, I know logically that it is a much healthier attitude to want those we love to be happy and to not try to hold onto them because of our egos. Thankfully, Jerry and I have so far had a fulfilling relationship on multiple levels. Perhaps because we have agreed to never get married we don't have the psychological pressure of staying together out of a formal societal commitment. Also, we have made an agreement that if either of us is no longer happy and wants out of the relationship that we will do our best to go our separate ways peacefully and with love. I know, easier said than done, but that’s the goal.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">You may not agree with me on any of this, and I respect that. It is a complicated issue that stirs up many emotions. I don't judge people who feel differently about these things. It just helped me to know that not every person out there sees me as some kind of monster, because it certainly felt like that for awhile. I now realize that how people feel about my affair has more to do with current societal norms and less to do with my value as a human being. My only regret is that I wish I had discovered The School of Life 10 years ago. It is my hope that through this blog post I can help some other lost and lonely soul find their way.</div></div>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-61920738746175013052021-02-10T23:23:00.001-05:002021-02-11T03:24:08.792-05:0043<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ty3J3f3se3k/YCSGh3k2AvI/AAAAAAAAIk4/WJtCbEcmaWIBJE5SExOAVfaxgCZvMk8XACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/50928648752_c9454310ac_k.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1442" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ty3J3f3se3k/YCSGh3k2AvI/AAAAAAAAIk4/WJtCbEcmaWIBJE5SExOAVfaxgCZvMk8XACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/50928648752_c9454310ac_k.jpg" /></a><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50927838923/in/photostream/" style="text-align: center;" title="Untitled"><img alt="Untitled" height="1600" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50927838923_69099d9d29_h.jpg" width="1031" /></a><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50928649332/in/photostream/" style="text-align: center;" title="Untitled"><img alt="Untitled" height="1600" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50928649332_99ad33d77f_h.jpg" width="1200" /></a><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><span style="text-align: center;">
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</span><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50928523806/in/photostream/" style="text-align: center;" title="Untitled"><img alt="Untitled" height="1600" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50928523806_732e52baf1_h.jpg" width="1142" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Dress: Spell and the Gypsy Portobello Road Strappy Dress</div><div style="text-align: center;">Shoes: American Eagle Wooden Clogs</div><div style="text-align: center;">Necklace: <a href="https://thirdeyepinecones.com/" target="_blank">Third Eye Pinecones</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"Spent a lifetime in the mirror picking apart what I couldn't change, but I saw my mother, my father...in my face." - Future Islands</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I've been trying at the very least to post birthday pics each year just to let you know I'm still alive, but I didn't even do that this past year. So, I present to you the pics from my 43rd birthday on May 25, 2020. These were taken with my Iphone, and the last one is a selfie. It's amazing the quality of the phone cameras these days! Yes, I realize that sounds just like something an old person would say. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I caught you up a little bit on my life in my first post, but I think I will delve a little deeper in this one. Since this is a post about my birthday, I thought it would be relevant to update you on my relationship with my parents. I will preface all of this by saying that I share intimate details about my life in hopes that someone out there can relate and not feel quite as alone in this world. My parents are not terrible people, and I am not perfect.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As long-time readers will know, I have a long history of mommy and daddy issues. Most notably, they were both completely unsupportive and stopped talking to me because of my decision to end my marriage back in 2011, even though they were divorced themselves. They each eventually came around and started talking to me again, but we haven't been close since my divorce. In all honesty, I have intentionally kept them at arms length because I determined that it was in my best interest to do so.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My mother and I don't speak much, but when we do, we get along for the most part. I have done a lot of research and have worked on myself over the last several years. As a result, I have come to a better understanding of our issues and relationship dynamic. It's like I can see The Matrix now. I know that she is trying to manipulate me before she even does it, and I recognize patterns in her behavior that I was blind to most of my life. Whenever I see things going down a familiar path, I withdraw for awhile. This may sound counterintuitive to how people are supposed to resolve conflict in healthy relationships. I agree that communication is the key to solving most relationship issues, but many, many years of emotional pain as well as my research has taught me that communication will not work in this situation. I wish we could be close, but after 43 years, I have finally come to the realization that the best I can hope for is to just get along with her in small doses. I have made peace with that.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My father isn't talking to me again. This time it's because of politics, or at least that is what I've been told. There was no fight or any other kind of confrontation. He simply stopped responding to my texts or answering my calls. I've been told by another family member that it's because I'm a "libtard." Apparently, I've also been written out of his will....for like the 50th time. Yawn. What's funny is that he and I never discussed politics. Ever. I guess people on Facebook told him what I was posting and that was enough for him. No doubt the contents of this blog post will get back to him and my mother. Some people have nothing better to do than stir pots. Anyway, the only clue I had that he didn't approve of my politics was about a year ago in the form of a video. He sent this video through another family member. It was a video about the second civil war that I guess he thinks is going to occur soon. I didn't respond to it. First of all, it was ridiculous. In addition, it was clearly a threat of "you better get on my side, or I'll see you on the other side of the battlefield." I don't take kindly to threats. Oh, and I will add that I took the readers of this blog's advice and wrote him a heart felt letter many years ago about how I wanted to be closer to him. I left it in his mailbox. He has never acknowledged it to this day. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have no ill will towards either of my parents. I am willing to be nice and try to have a relationship with them as long as they respect my individuality. I no longer seek their approval that I wanted for so very long. I am secure in myself and my decisions. This declaration did not come easy. It is the result of a lifetime of pain and individual growth. I was never supported enough in my life to get to this point until Jerry came along. He gave me the unconditional love and freedom I needed to find myself and become a strong, independent woman. I ran across this quote recently, and it really resonated with me:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"You are the flower, your family the roots, and sometimes you're forced to grow from tainted seeds. And no matter how damaged your upbringing may have been, you survive, and you flourish despite it all." - r.h. Sin</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">P.S. I highly recommend listening to and looking up the lyrics from the Future Islands' song I quoted above. The song is called Plastic Beach. It so accurately describes what finding my soulmate did for me. All you need is one person to support, love and believe in you. </div><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50927838923/in/photostream/" title="Untitled"><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script></a>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-28610368167287589222021-02-08T23:32:00.002-05:002021-02-09T02:27:44.960-05:00Moment of Zen<div class="separator"></div><div class="separator"><div style="text-align: center;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50923784291/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Screen Shot 2021-02-08 at 5.06.43 PM"><img alt="Screen Shot 2021-02-08 at 5.06.43 PM" height="881" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50923784291_629e4c0693_o.png" width="585" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="text-align: center;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50923094463/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Screen Shot 2021-02-08 at 5.08.06 PM"><img alt="Screen Shot 2021-02-08 at 5.08.06 PM" height="882" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50923094463_c28915457f_o.png" width="594" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="text-align: center;"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50923784061/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Screen Shot 2021-02-08 at 5.07.39 PM"><img alt="Screen Shot 2021-02-08 at 5.07.39 PM" height="881" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50923784061_a6776948a0_o.png" width="624" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JNDxvnlnO6M/YCH8aj27iAI/AAAAAAAAIkE/GQybZSNrejYydVWM-66nxByoe-1s2khmACPcBGAYYCw/s883/50923786171_b492e803e3_o.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="883" data-original-width="489" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JNDxvnlnO6M/YCH8aj27iAI/AAAAAAAAIkE/GQybZSNrejYydVWM-66nxByoe-1s2khmACPcBGAYYCw/s16000/50923786171_b492e803e3_o.png" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dKOe_7lfnFg/YCHKHy4RXrI/AAAAAAAAIjw/MIrimOUlB20PfhTA2KDPmmCeL3fuu7pwACPcBGAYYCw/s880/50923907932_9e303fdc0a_o.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="880" data-original-width="852" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dKOe_7lfnFg/YCHKHy4RXrI/AAAAAAAAIjw/MIrimOUlB20PfhTA2KDPmmCeL3fuu7pwACPcBGAYYCw/s16000/50923907932_9e303fdc0a_o.png" /></a></div></div></div><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oVeKKPCtUqs/YCHOhGw4piI/AAAAAAAAIj4/4XRSxI1UBx4hlLv9Y6jg2luMXWOO5bB9gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1023/50923787056_0fe60ec459_b.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="721" data-original-width="1023" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oVeKKPCtUqs/YCHOhGw4piI/AAAAAAAAIj4/4XRSxI1UBx4hlLv9Y6jg2luMXWOO5bB9gCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/50923787056_0fe60ec459_b.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Romper: Free People Jagger One Piece</div><div style="text-align: center;">Headband: Free People Maggie May Soft Headband</div><div style="text-align: center;">Necklace: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/248719751/raw-lithium-quartz-necklace?ref=yr_purchases" target="_blank">Aligned Gems</a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Bracelets: Three Bird Nest</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"I never did believe in the ways of magic, but I'm beginning to wonder why..." - Fleetwood Mac</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My plan is to go back and post any blog worthy photos I took last year before I start posting current ones. These photos were taken way back in April when we were all several weeks into complete lockdown because of Covid. It had just started to get warm outside, so Jerry and I decided to play around in the yard with the camera.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I honestly enjoyed lockdown and felt more at peace than I had in a very long time. I loved spending each day with my family and having time for simple things like gardening or hand washing my car. I put together a 2,000 piece puzzle which totally consumed me for awhile because of my obsessive personality. I haven't done another one since because I started to get a look in my eyes like Jack Nicholson in The Shining over that damn puzzle. I think I might have an unhealthy relationship with puzzles, so I thought it best to quit after the one. I also started playing the piano again and am proud to say I have stuck with that. It's been a great outlet for my emotions, and I've really upped my skill level. I’ve even been posting videos of myself playing on my personal Facebook page. Maybe I'll share one on here sometime.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In case you were wondering, the necklace I'm wearing is a lithium quartz crystal. It's supposed to have a calming energy that helps relieve stress and anxiety. I've really gotten into crystals lately. I'm not really a believer in their "powers." Honestly, I think it's a bunch of BS. I'm very much a woman of science, not psuedo-science. I just think they look cool. However, I figure, "what the hell?" It can't hurt to try them. Now that I think about it, the first crystal I ever received was from some street musicians in Sedona a few years ago. I gave them all the change from my wallet, and they gave me a tiny Blue Kyanite crystal and told me it would help me to "speak my truth." I ended up cussing out one of my travel companions on that trip who had been a real bitch to everyone the entire time. Hmm...maybe there is something to these crystals after all. </div><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-88083166654428840152021-02-07T19:46:00.002-05:002021-02-09T08:19:32.112-05:00Time<div class="separator"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I1mGhVNalxY/YCBw5o35ZWI/AAAAAAAAIfw/14gAZqTu0uErKQIrjsR9nyHV5w7hJuwYwCLcBGAsYHQ/s933/Blogpic.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="933" data-original-width="625" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I1mGhVNalxY/YCBw5o35ZWI/AAAAAAAAIfw/14gAZqTu0uErKQIrjsR9nyHV5w7hJuwYwCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/Blogpic.png" /></a></div><div class="separator"><br /></div><div class="separator"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50920000107/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Screen Shot 2021-02-07 at 3.22.15 PM"><img alt="Screen Shot 2021-02-07 at 3.22.15 PM" height="931" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50920000107_3e517f9a1e_o.png" width="609" /></a></div><div class="separator"><br /></div><div class="separator"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50919175768/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Screen Shot 2021-02-07 at 3.22.31 PM"><img alt="Screen Shot 2021-02-07 at 3.22.31 PM" height="931" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50919175768_02de9d1b29_o.png" width="618" /></a></div><div class="separator"><br /></div><div class="separator"><a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/50919173673/in/photostream/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Screen Shot 2021-02-07 at 3.21.36 PM"><img alt="Screen Shot 2021-02-07 at 3.21.36 PM" height="934" src="https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50919173673_8ddcc7f6e8_o.png" width="620" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="text-align: center;">Kimono: <a href="https://usa.spell.co/products/mystic-tasselled-robe-sunflower" target="_blank">Spell and the Gypsy Mystic Tasseled Robe</a></div><div class="separator" style="text-align: center;">Tee: Anthropologie Pink Floyd Graphic Tee</div><div class="separator" style="text-align: center;">Pants: Spell and the Gypsy Mystic Bells</div><div class="separator" style="text-align: center;">Bracelets and Ring: Three Bird Nest</div></div>
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script><div><br /></div>"And then one day you find ten years have got behind you..." - Pink Floyd<div><br /></div><div>Hey, you! It's been awhile. I've been feeling that itch to write again, and I've actually had a few of you contact me asking me to blog, so here I am. I'm not sure how often I'm going to do this or any other particulars for that matter, but this is a start. These photos were from back in October. Jerry and I were just playing around in the backyard, so I could get a good updated profile pic for my social media accounts. It's been really cold and rainy here for weeks now, so I haven't felt like getting out in that to take photos. These old photos will just have to suffice. At least I'm wearing actual clothes. I mostly just wear pajamas every day since Covid graced us with its insidious presence. I'm hoping that blogging will force me to dress like a respectable human being again or at the very least to put on a bra.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's hard to believe that it has been 10 years since all that drama went down on this blog. I guess there has been a lot of drama on this blog and in my life in general, but you know which drama I'm referring to, right? I'll give you a hint: It was a sordid "affair." Well, that little affair is going on ten years now. I am still very much in love with my soulmate and photographer boyfriend, Jerry. He has helped me raise my three kids, and they love him too. My eldest is in college now, after graduating in the top of his class in high school. He was also the conference champion in cross country 2 years in a row. I'm quite proud. My other two are teens, ages 16 and 13. They both do well in school, and my daughter is a competitive dancer in ballet, pointe, jazz, lyrical and contemporary. Oh, and they have all read my blog, and they think that it's awesome! They aren't scarred mentally for life like so many of my haters predicted would happen. So, fuck you very much, haters! Success is the best revenge.</div><div><br /></div><div>As much as things change, some things stay the same. I still struggle with anxiety and depression. In some ways, it's worse than ever. Aging is really fucking with my head, both my own aging and the aging of those around me. Jerry and I were just talking this morning about time. I told him that it seemed to me that time went so slow from years 0 - 20 , but years 20-43 have flown by so fast. I feel like I just had my kids a few years ago, and now, here I am with old age just around the corner. He actually had a theory to back up my perception. He said that at age 10, 1 year is 1/10th of your life, but at age 50, 1 year is 1/50th of your life. Therefore, when you are older each year is a smaller percentage of the total life you have lived which means we perceive time as going by faster when we are older than we did when we were younger. Mmm...I love it when he talks nerdy to me. Math is so sexy. Seriously, though, this makes sense to me.</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, I guess that's enough for now. This felt good. I think this is just what I need in my life right now, so thank you to the readers who pushed me to get back into it. I hope to be back soon with more riveting details of my so-called midlife. </div>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-27507981080783766022019-09-09T23:32:00.000-04:002019-09-10T01:59:19.374-04:00The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Outfit: Spell and the Gypsy Collective</div>
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Jewelry: Free People</div>
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This is my annual post to let you know I'm still alive and kicking. In fact, I've made it to a very special age, 42. I can feel the wisdom flowing through me... just kidding. </div>
Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-23204525812543183102018-11-01T20:05:00.000-04:002018-11-01T20:05:24.587-04:00Mad World<br />
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Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-31709868835666808032018-05-26T23:28:00.000-04:002018-05-26T23:28:09.106-04:0041<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://shop.spelldesigns.com/collections/dresses/products/rosa-playdress-blush">Dress: Spell and the Gypsy Collective Rosa Playdress</a></div>
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Necklace: <a href="https://www.ae.com/women-aeo-good-luck-necklace-gold/web/s-prod/0482_8111_709?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat7120043">American Eagle Outfitters Good Luck Necklace</a></div>
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Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-30457916330771568072018-01-29T02:06:00.000-05:002018-01-29T02:06:39.396-05:00Velvet Crush<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Top: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com/shop/we-the-free-blossom-thermal/?color=105&size=L" target="_blank">Free People Blossom Thermal</a></div>
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Skirt: <a href="https://www.simons.ca/en">La Maison Simons Crushed Velvet Skater Skirt</a> </div>
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Boots: Old Navy Tall Sueded Riding Boots</div>
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Necklace: <span id="goog_1707740252"></span><a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/DragonCrystalsShop?section_id=18858758">Dragon Crystals Shop<span id="goog_1707740253"></span></a> Macramé Jasper Necklace </div>
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"But something good tonight will make me forget about you for now." - Alt J<br />
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A few months back I had my first ever experience of being sized out of a store. Let me tell you, it was a real confidence booster...</div>
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I don’t usually shop at Madewell because it’s not really my style but I fell in love with a <a href="https://www.madewell.com/madewell_category/SKIRTS/mini/PRD~H2334/H2334.jsp?Nbrd=M&Nloc=en_US&Nrpp=48&Npge=1&Ntrm=velvet&isSaleItem=false&color_name=SUNSET ROSE&isFromSearch=true&isNewSearch=true&hash=row7">skirt</a> on a mannequin in the window. It was an adorable rose-colored crushed velvet mini skirt. I went in and grabbed the largest size they make in this store, a 14, and took it to the dressing room. I’ve never worn a 14 in my life (12 is as high as I’ve gotten so far) but when I held this skirt up, I could tell that it was question<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">able that even the 14 would fit me. On the mannequin it appeared that this skirt had an elastic waist but upon closer inspection that was not the case. It was zip up. I couldn't think of one good reason why this skirt should have a fucking zipper. It had such a relaxed bohemian vibe to it. The answer I assume is that this store is all about structured pieces (gross) but couldn’t they have just made this one thing with a comfortable elastic waist?!?</span></div>
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I was able to zip the skirt up and wear it Urkel style way above my belly button, but it felt so uncomfortable like that. I just really wanted this thing to have an elastic waist so I could wear it further down my waist. If I unzipped it a little bit and pulled it down slightly below my belly button, it looked so cute.<span class="_5mfr _47e3" style="clip: auto; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; height: auto; line-height: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 1px; margin-top: 0px; overflow: visible; position: static; vertical-align: middle; white-space: normal; width: auto;"><span class="_7oe" style="display: inline-block; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 0px; width: 0px;">😢</span></span></div>
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The dressing room attendant came by and asked if she could help me with a size. I told her I didn’t think they carried the size I needed. She said, “What size?” I said, “Larger than a 14.” She looked at me with pity on her face and said the social nicety equivalent of “We don’t serve your kind here.” I felt like Pretty Woman except instead of being a hoe, I was an even worse 3 letter word in the fashion world - fat.</div>
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It was a foreign and really bad feeling to not be able to wear the largest size a store sells. I’ve consoled myself with the theory that the skirt is meant to be worn really high on the waist (like it fit me) because I've noticed that high-waisted bottoms with boxy, cropped tops are making a comeback with the youngsters. They are giving me serious 90’s flash backs. Been there, done that and have no desire to go there again. </div>
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I spent the next several days scouring the Internets for a similar skirt with a comfortable elastic waist for an old fatty. I finally found one at a Canadian store called Simons. It wasn't as pretty as the one I fell in love with but it was only $11 so I figured what the hell. It arrived surprisingly quick from Canada and even though it didn't take my breath way, it did help me get over my crush on the skirt that just wasn't meant to be.<br />
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<iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aNYjOVo5IEw" width="560"></iframe>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-66306559059636839252017-12-28T15:41:00.002-05:002017-12-28T16:06:54.294-05:00Halloween Post: Zombies of the Caribbean<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This blog has primarily consisted of Halloween posts for the past couple of years, so I would be amiss not to back track and do a post on this year's Halloween costumes. The theme this time around was "Zombies of the Caribbean." The concept began when a friend of mine who lives in Canada and whom I met through this blog sent me a pic of an illustration in a book she was reading. The illustration was of a deadly sea siren that she thought bared a uncanny resemblance to me. Since we both share a near obsessive love for Halloween, I promised her that I would try to do a photo shoot replicating the illustration for Halloween, and from there, my imagination went wild. </div>
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Naturally, I didn't want to be a straight-up, vanilla mermaid. I wanted to be equal parts beautiful and scary, kind of the way I am in real life, so I went for a zombie mermaid/sea siren vibe with my costume and makeup. Once I worked out my look, it was time to figure out costumes for my accessories...I mean, family members. I decided that it would be cool if we could each dress up as some sort of zombie from the sea. My first zombie recruit was my daughter. She was more than receptive to this whole zombie mermaid idea. The poor thing takes after her mother in more ways than one, and one of those ways is that she prefers her Halloween costumes to be more putrid than princess. Therefore, she became a sea siren mini me who I assure you may be smaller but is way more deadly. She even joined me for the photo shoot on the beach to capture the promised photo for my friend in Canada. It turned out to be a fun Halloween twist on a mommy/daughter photo shoot. Girlfriend has the emotionless dead face down pat. I have a feeling I'll be seeing a lot more of that face. The teenager years, they are a coming. </div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fEwLrVnNWi8/WkUhEi1GbCI/AAAAAAAAINI/B29Bu1vrGcMr3wUtm1cG0v_CHaAqTKsqgCLcBGAs/s1600/Sirens2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="875" data-original-width="1164" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fEwLrVnNWi8/WkUhEi1GbCI/AAAAAAAAINI/B29Bu1vrGcMr3wUtm1cG0v_CHaAqTKsqgCLcBGAs/s640/Sirens2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Here's the photos I sent my friend. I attended a wedding on this beach a few years ago, and the ceremony was preformed behind a rock very much like the one the siren is sitting on in the illustration. I went to this particular beach for the sole purpose of sitting my ass on that rock but it was no where to be found when we got there. Apparently, it just vanished into thin air. I did the best I could without the damn rock. What do you think? Are we lost sea siren sisters? </div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KGF5O0sEDBE/WkUuN3hg__I/AAAAAAAAIOI/gIYzV7jiqEcvgeQ0W_UZhRkKXiPTpDxFACLcBGAs/s1600/Repro1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="954" data-original-width="1134" height="538" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KGF5O0sEDBE/WkUuN3hg__I/AAAAAAAAIOI/gIYzV7jiqEcvgeQ0W_UZhRkKXiPTpDxFACLcBGAs/s640/Repro1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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What about the men in the family, you ask? Oh, they did not come out unscathed from my evil plans. My idea for Jerry was for him to be a zombie pirate captain who heard my siren song and got pulled into the depths with me (also pretty accurate to real life) and for my sons to be his zombie pirate shipmates. Jerry was great as always and convincingly wore every uncomfortable and ridiculous piece of his costume, and there was "a lot of look" going on with his. He had a shirt, pants, jacket, bandana, hat, eye patch, boot covers and a hook to contend with. He also had a skeleton parrot that was suppose to sit on his shoulder, but even Jerry has his limits, and Pete the Parrot proved to be one accessory too many. I spent the most time and effort on Jerry's look. The shirt was from his King Louis costume 2 years ago. The jacket and hat were from Target. I ordered shells, starfish and spooky fabric from Amazon and glued them on the jacket and hat to make them more zombie-ish. I used latex makeup to attach a gnarly looking barnacle to his face, and Jerry grew his beard out to add to his zombie sea captain mystic. All the other pieces of his costume were also from Amazon. All hail Amazon - Fulfiller of Halloween dreams...or should I say nightmares!</div>
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We didn't throw a Halloween party this year. I needed to take a year off...maybe more. I wanted to sit back and enjoy Halloween for once. Instead, we went to a party at a local club and entered a Halloween costume contest. We had a great time, and I got way too drunk...a luxury I couldn't afford when I was hostess with the mostess. I knew it was time to stop drinking when I kept trying to make fish faces and then laughing hysterically about the fact that I was a mermaid making fish faces. The best part of all, though, was that we took home 1st place for Best Couple! </div>
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As far as my boys go, I was able to convince my oldest son to go along with my zombie pirate idea, and he even gave Pete the Parrot a much needed home on his shoulder. He attended his first teenager Halloween party, and I heard that Pete was a big hit with all of his friends. As usual, though, my "marches to the beat of his own drum" younger son had other ideas for his costume. If you remember last year, he was Kylo Ren in our Addams Family. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that his idea actually worked with mine for once. He was a Katy Perry Left Shark or as I like to think of him, the shark that killed us all (again, very accurate to real life). </div>
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<br />Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-63652069425968909722017-12-26T18:40:00.000-05:002017-12-26T18:46:54.147-05:00This is 40<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dress: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com/shop/marsha-printed-slip/?category=printed-dresses&color=030" target="_blank">Free People Marsha Printed Slip</a></div>
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Shoes: Seychelles On the Floor Sandals</div>
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Earrings: Anthropologie Kilohana Hoops</div>
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"Nobody looks away when the sun goes down." - Iron and Wine</div>
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This past May I turned the big 4-0, and my slip was showing. I have a quote taped to my computer screen at work that says, "Not caring what other people think is the best choice you will ever make." I feel like I've FINALLY gotten to that point in my life. It only took me 40 years to get here but better late than never.</div>
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I'm thinking about posting again from time to time. Follow along if you like to see what age inappropriate clothing looks like on a middle-aged, overweight mother of three, you appreciate good photography and music, or you just find it hard to look away as the aging process steadily claims the woman who was in her prime when she started this old blog. </div>
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<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GifLPveCWx8" width="560"></iframe>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-43461096893006721652016-11-20T19:17:00.001-05:002016-11-20T19:17:57.011-05:00Bonnie's Closet: Holiday Sale<a href="http://bonniescloset.blogspot.com/2016/11/holiday-sale.html?spref=bl">Bonnie's Closet: Holiday Sale</a>: Anthropologie Spacedye Swing Tunic Size Medium - $45 shipped Anthropologie Terry Floral Fit and Flare Dress Size Medium - $8...Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-14536361928103588622016-11-01T16:35:00.000-04:002016-11-01T16:35:12.962-04:00All in the Family<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1JDNYKETagM/WBj8DPS5amI/AAAAAAAAIIM/fhyaL-KFYiYm0IbcJXl7owo3485gxn1_ACLcB/s1600/TishandGomez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1JDNYKETagM/WBj8DPS5amI/AAAAAAAAIIM/fhyaL-KFYiYm0IbcJXl7owo3485gxn1_ACLcB/s1600/TishandGomez.jpg" /></a>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-46306186109352282672016-10-03T19:29:00.000-04:002016-10-03T19:29:28.867-04:00Ugly Duckling<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dress: <a href="http://www.threadsence.com/ibiza-sands-tie-dye-dress.html" target="_blank">Threadsence Ibiza Sands Tie-Dye Dress</a></div>
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Shoes: <a href="https://spool72.com/products/taos-fringe-sandals" target="_blank">Spool 72 Taos Fringe Sandals</a></div>
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Bralette: <a href="https://www.ae.com/featured-aerie-racerback-boho-bralette-soft-muslin/aerie/s-prod/4447_2071_125?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat7530006&mmCat=cat7900126" target="_blank">Aerie Racerback Boho Bralette</a></div>
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Necklace: <a href="https://www.ae.com/women-aeo-etched-pendant-necklace-gold/web/s-prod/0482_5050_709?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat7120043" target="_blank">AEO Etched Pendant Necklace</a></div>
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Ring: AEO Tiger's Eye Ring</div>
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"Where you gonna look for confirmation? And if it's ever gonna happen." - Bon Iver</div>
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These pics were taken on a really hot and humid day in August, but I'm just now getting around to posting them. I haven't been feeling the blogging thing lately. It comes and goes - my desire to write and post pictures of myself. I'm one moody motherfucker, so thanks to those of you who have stuck with me through thick and thin. </div>
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Speaking of thick, my doctor told me at my yearly physical last month that I needed to lose weight. So, yeah, it's official. I've been diagnosed as a fat chick. For a month, I cut my calories back to under 1300 a day and started exercising some. I lost 4 pounds. I guess I was suppose to be happy about that, but I wasn't. I didn't feel my level of sacrifice equaled my change in appearance. There was virtually no change. I still felt fat and ugly. </div>
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Of course, I've always felt fat and ugly, even when I was 30 pounds lighter. Some would say that's just the nature of being a woman. Yeah, I suppose, but I feel like I've struggled with self-esteem more than most. I described in my last post my daily struggle with getting ready to leave my house, but I didn't tell you that I've had days where I couldn't leave the house at all because I didn't feel I measured up to society's standards. I've also had a couple of days where I considered ending it all because I'm stuck in this body and with this face that I hate. </div>
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How stupid would that be? To erase myself because of some superficial bullshit? I refuse to go out like that. I have a lot more to offer the world beyond the physical and so much more I want to do in my life. So, it may be a struggle, but I will fight this negative thinking. I will somehow learn to love myself and enjoy life, because it might be over soon.</div>
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<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js"></script>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ISCEilPMNak?list=PLJNbijG2M7OxIYBsmyHn2EfIClfmcLk6S" width="560"></iframe>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-72597081593566564022016-08-15T22:56:00.000-04:002016-08-15T22:56:52.833-04:00Gladiator<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dress: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com//shop/33172826/?color=055" target="_blank">Free People Lalelei Tunic</a></div>
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Sandals: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com//shop/20851218/?color=020" target="_blank">Free People Romana Fest Gladiator Sandals</a></div>
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Necklace: Anthropologie Cowrie Fringe Necklace</div>
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Handband: Spool 72</div>
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"I don't wanna fight no more." - Alabama Shakes</div>
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Life is a daily battle for me. It begins before I even get out of bed each day. I struggle with getting up because I know what awaits me once I set my feet upon the floor and go about the excruciating act of getting myself ready for the outside world. </div>
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First, a 30 minute shower where I shave my legs to the point of exhaustion and razor burn. Not even a hint of stubble is acceptable. This is one of the few things I have control over and it must be done right. I may be old, I may be fat, but my legs will be as smooth as a motherfucking baby's ass. Once out of the shower, I comb out my wet hair and roll it up into a towel. Deodorant is applied, teeth brushed and flossed, contacts inserted, and lotion applied to my entire body. If there is even the smallest chip in my nail polish, it all must be removed, nails filed, and new polish applied. </div>
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While my nails dry, I pluck my eyebrows and search my face, neck, and breasts for any pesky little black hairs just barely starting to break the skin's surface. I can get hung up on this stage sometimes for 30 minutes or more, trying to pluck a stubborn hair that I can see but just can't quite get a hold of. Next, makeup is applied - foundation, powder, blush, eyeliner, eye shadow, mascara, and lip stick. Foundation and powder are particularly useful for covering up irritated and broken skin created during the hair plucking phase. </div>
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Now that my body and face are taken care of, it's time to tackle my hair. I blow dry it with a round brush for 15 minutes to try and tame my natural curl then I smooth it even further for another 15 minutes with a flat iron. I've had to move the flat iron to my bedroom this Summer so I can stand in front of a fan while doing it. There's no air vent in our bathroom, and I was sweating so bad that my hair was curling back up before I could get it all straightened. The week that the above pics were taken, it was so hot that I didn't even bother with my hair at all. </div>
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Last but not least, is my favorite part these days (I'm being sarcastic) - getting dressed. I try on at least 5 different outfits before having a massive meltdown over my fat fucking body and declaring that I hate every piece of clothing in my closet before finally settling on the first fucking muumuu I tried on before the whole shit storm began.</div>
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Rinse and repeat the next day.</div>
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It's exhausting. You would think after all that work I would look like a damn super model, but nope, just a old, fat disappointment with really smooth legs. </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/x-5OX7CO26c?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-6432463253994816142016-08-05T23:06:00.000-04:002016-08-05T23:06:52.249-04:00Crazy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Swimsuit: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B019GYAY4M/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1" target="_blank">Amazon Blooming Jelly Tropical Tribal Print One Piece</a></div>
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Headband: <a href="https://spool72.com/products/70s-daisy-hair-headband" target="_blank">Spool 72 70's Daisy Headband</a></div>
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Sunglasses: Anthropologie Ett Twa Torill Sunglasses</div>
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Bracelets: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com/shop/mantra-beaded-bracelets/?c=bracelets" target="_blank">Free People Mantra Beaded Bracelets</a></div>
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"And when you're out there without care, yeah, I was out of touch but it wasn't because I didn't know enough. I just knew too much. Does that make me crazy?" - Gnarls Barkley (Violent Femmes cover)</div>
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What does one do when they've recently gained a bunch of weight? Well, they go to the beach in their swimsuit, get lots of photos taken of themselves, and then do a blog post with said photos for the whole world to see. Makes perfect sense, right?</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fD-SMLTfuVw?rel=0" width="420"></iframe>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-70594255986512762412016-07-29T17:42:00.000-04:002016-07-29T17:52:52.970-04:00Mom Bod<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Top: <a href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/4112200844546.jsp#/" target="_blank">Anthropologie Fiona Strap-Back Tee</a></div>
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Pants: <a href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/38587077.jsp#/" target="_blank">Anthropologie Pierra Loungers</a></div>
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Earrings: Anthropologie Kilohana Hoops</div>
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Hand Chain: Forever 21</div>
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"Now I've got a lifetime to consider all the ways, I've grown more disappointing to you as my beauty warps and fades. I suspect you feel the same." - Father John Misty</div>
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Well, it's official. At the ripe old age of 39, I have a mom bod. I cried right after viewing these pictures and declared in a my most whiny, pathetic voice through the sobs, "I look like I'm somebody's mother." Then, I proceeded to laugh manically while simultaneously still crying. Poor Jerry witnessed the whole thing, and I'm pretty sure he feared for his life. Good times. Good times.</div>
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<b>"Bored In The USA"</b><br />
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<!-- Usage of azlyrics.com content by any third-party lyrics provider is prohibited by our licensing agreement. Sorry about that. -->How many people rise and say<br /> "My brain's so awfully glad to be here<br /> For yet another mindless day?"<br /><br /> I've got all morning to obsessively accrue<br /> A small nation of meaningful objects<br /> And they've got to represent me too<br /><br /> By this afternoon, I'll live in debt<br /> By tomorrow, be replaced by children<br /><br /> How many people rise and think<br /> "Oh good, the stranger's body's still here<br /> Our arrangement hasn't changed?"<br /><br /> Now I've got a lifetime to consider all the ways<br /> I've grown more disappointing to you<br /> As my beauty warps and fades<br /> I suspect you feel the same<br /> When I was young, I dreamt of a passionate obligation to a roommate<br /><br /> Is this the part where I get all I ever wanted?<br /> Who said that?<br /> Can I get my money back?<br /><br /> Just a little bored in the USA<br /> Oh, just a little bored in the USA<br /> Save me, white Jesus<br /> </div>
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Bored in the USA<br /> Oh, they gave me a useless education<br /> And a subprime loan<br /> On a craftsman home<br /> Keep my prescriptions filled<br /> And now I can't get off<br /> But I can kind of deal<br /> Oh, with being bored in the USA<br /> Oh, just a little bored in the USA<br /> Save me, President Jesus<br /> </div>
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I'm bored in the USA<br /> How did it happen?<br /> Bored in the USA </div>
Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-45659752664940868022016-07-22T20:32:00.000-04:002016-07-22T20:32:04.624-04:00Rock n Roll<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a data-flickr-embed="true" href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/7682709@N03/28060216242/in/dateposted-public/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" title="Screen Shot 2016-07-07 at 11.32.13 PM"><img alt="Screen Shot 2016-07-07 at 11.32.13 PM" height="907" src="https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7738/28060216242_cf1f72ee61_o.png" width="649" /></a>Tee: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com/shop/led-zeppelin-tee/" target="_blank">Free People Led Zeppelin Tee</a>
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Shorts: <a href="https://www.ae.com/women-aeo-hi-rise-festival-shortie-medium-destroy/web/s-prod/1333_4488_826?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat6280066" target="_blank">American Eagle Hi-Rise Festival Shortie</a>
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Vest: <a href="http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?br=F21&category=outerwear_coats-and-jackets&productid=2000176651" target="_blank">Forever 21 Fringed Faux Suede Vest</a></div>
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"Its been a long time since I rock and rolled." - Led Zeppelin<br />
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The virtual plethora of bohemian inspired clothing on the market right now has forced me to up the ante on dressing like a hippie. It really is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it fucking rocks to be able to easily find so many things that appeal to my sense of style. Have you been to American Eagle lately? It looks like the Seventies threw up in there (which to me is a good thing). I even found some awesome burnout tees for $8 while grocery shopping at Walmart. On the other hand, it means everybody else and their brother is wearing it too. This really hit home when I was in the local coffee shop the other day.<br />
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A group of very prim and proper Prepster ladies walked in and they were all wearing some form of Tie Dye prints with their conservative flats and clutch purses. Stop the fucking hippie train! I want to get off...except I can't. I self-identify as hippie. So, what's any self-respecting hippie chick to do in these fucked up times we find ourselves living? Well, I've found myself dressing borderline costumey in order to stand out from the crowd.<br />
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I've wanted to wear a fringe vest since forever, so I figured now's the time to do it. I haven't seen many of those walking around my small town. I must admit that I felt a little silly at first in this outfit. I mean, a lady of my age and size wearing destroyed cutoff shorts, a see through band tee, and a fringe suede vest is just crazy, but desperate times call for desperate measures. <br />
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I don't think I've worn cutoff shorts since I was in my early twenties, and I can't say that I will get much wear out of these. I was paranoid they were in my junk the whole time I wore them even though Jerry assured me they were not. I've got enough problems without having to pull at my shorts constantly. Ain't nobody got time for that. I mainly bought them to wear at Bonnaroo anyway. However, I can see myself wearing this cute vest with some of my dresses, so I'm glad I finally purchased one. As for the tee, I've already worn it a bunch of times. You can never go wrong with Led Zeppelin or Rock n Roll.</div>
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<br />Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-76601408080545613462016-07-13T20:04:00.001-04:002016-07-13T20:04:37.001-04:00Waspy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dress: <a href="https://www.ae.com/women-aeo-crochet-white-maxi-dress-cream/web/s-prod/0398_9371_106?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat5450036" target="_blank">American Eagle Crochet White Maxi Dress</a></div>
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Necklace: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com/shop/sunset-valley-leather-necklace/" target="_blank">Free People Sunset Valley Leather Necklace</a></div>
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"You're cussing a storm in a cocktail dress your mother wore when she was young...All your wrath and cutting beauty, You're poison in the pretty glass. You're a wasp nest." - The National</div>
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I got anger issues. I feel like all I do is bitch about things these days. I'm really bummed out about this because I was feeling so positive about humanity when I came home from Bonnaroo, but all these shootings in the news and people just being annoying in general is getting me down.</div>
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I'm mad at Facebook and all the stupid people on it. If I have to read another ambiguous status, I think I'm gonna lose my mind. It's a fucking epidemic. As far as I'm concerned, there are only two options when posting a status on Facebook: 1)Don't. 2)Post a clear to read status that does not leave the reader asking who, what, when, how, or why. I shouldn't have to go on a Facebook scavenger hunt to figure out who the hell is sick, dying, or dead. Just state what the fuck is going on in detail or don't post anything about it at all.</div>
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I'm mad at Bernie. Why the hell did he endorse Hillary? Et tu, Bernie? I thought you were different. </div>
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I'm mad about all the badge licking going on these days. It seems like law enforcement can do no wrong in this country. I assure you that they can. I've experienced it first hand, and have witnessed it through the tragically countless number of videos the past year. Yes, they have a hard job, but it is a job they chose to do and if they are not good at their job then they need to be fired like any other mere mortal would be. More importantly, though, if they wrongfully take someone's life as a result of being bad at their job then they need to be punished. </div>
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I'm mad that I will be assumed to be a cop hater or that I'm being insensitive to the cops that were shot in Dallas for my above comments. </div>
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Mostly, though, I'm mad at myself...and for shallow reasons. I've gained a lot of weight recently, and I don't know how I should feel about it. Mind you, this is weight gained on top of the weight I had already put on last year. It was a shock when I first saw these photos. I didn't realize how big I had gotten, but after I looked through them for a few minutes, I got used to seeing myself a little heavier, moved on with the editing process, and was ultimately happy with the way these photos turned out. However, I'm having a harder time doing that in real life.</div>
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On one hand, I want to love and accept myself for the way I look right now in my life. I'm relatively happy. I've got my usual anxiety and depression issues to deal with, but I love my boyfriend, my kids, and our life together, and these people seem to love me back just fine even with a little more weight on me. I'm almost 40. I had a good run at being thin with absolutely no effort. Do I really want to start with all that weight loss shit now? Working out doesn't make me feel energized. Running doesn't give me a "high." Counting Calories ain't my thing. I love to eat good food. Good food makes me happy. </div>
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On the other hand, I can't help but freak out every time I look in the mirror or feel my noticeably bigger belly resting on my legs while sitting at my desk at work. I feel ashamed that I've let myself go so much and that I'm creeping ever further away from society's standard of beauty. So, I do the thing that millions of women across this country do every single day, and I start counting those calories. I usually last about a day and then I feel like a total sellout because it's not who I am. I don't want to fall in line with the rest of the sheeple and sell my soul to the weight loss gods. So, back to eating I go until I freak out in the mirror again and then the vicious cycle repeats itself.</div>
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I really need to decide who I'm going to be. Am I going to be the woman who accepts that she's getting older and therefore, fatter, and move on with her fucking life? Or am I going to be the woman who fights it to the bitter end? The world may never know... I've always been more of a lover than a fighter. Hmpf! How's that for some fucking ambiguity fuckers? </div>
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The chick in this video needs to eat a cheeseburger then she'd be smiling.Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-22267864345983006912016-07-02T22:25:00.001-04:002016-07-02T22:28:30.132-04:00Festival Fanny<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Top: Old Navy</div>
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Skirt: Shakedown Street Vendor at Bonnaroo</div>
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Festival Belt/Fanny Pack: <a href="http://www.noralinafreedom.com/" target="_blank">Noralina Freedom Designs</a> at Bonnaroo</div>
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Sunglasses: Anthropologie Ett Twa Torill Sunglasses</div>
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Temporary Tattoo: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com/shop/metallic-hair-tattoo/" target="_blank">Free People Metallic Hair Tattoos</a></div>
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"Immaculate Creation. Overnight Sensation." - Borns<br />
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Pardon the poor quality of these photos. These were some snaps taken in my yard with my Iphone the day after we returned from Bonnaroo. There's even some deodorant stains for your realistic pleasure on that last one. Rather than setup a photo shoot with the good camera in this same outfit, I decided to go with these because I think my positive vibe from the festival really comes across in these pics, and honestly, that positivity is wearing thin after a few weeks back in the real world.<br />
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I'm wearing two of my favorite purchases from the festival: a leather festival belt and a patchwork skirt. I've been wanting one of these leather "fanny packs" ever since I saw one on this lady at my daughter's dance studio. I would see this lady every Tuesday night when I went to pick up my daughter. She was there to pick up two little girls in another class. Beyond that, I don't know much about her other than she dressed like an authentic hippie and, let me tell you, that's something you don't ever see in my small Southern town. There's pretty much a uniform worn by everyone in my town. It changes from season to season and year to year, but it's always there. For example, those metallic sandals with the circle between the toes have definitely been the uniform shoe of choice the past few Summers, as has chevrons and anything with a monogram on it. I fucking hate a monogram.<br />
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Anyway, I was completely fascinated by this woman. I'm used to feeling like the weirdly dressed one in the room, but this lady made me look like a total hippie poser. I even worked up the courage one night to tell her how much I loved the way she dresses. I think I may have freaked her out a little bit with my fan girliness, so I didn't say anything to her again after that. She usually wore long skirts or long flowy pants in colorful and interesting prints that cascaded down over her well worn leather booties. She had long, gray tousled hair and wore ornate stone rings on every single finger. However, the thing that stood out the most to me was this leather belt with a satchel attached to it that she always wore on her hip. It was totally bad ass, and I instantly wanted one.<br />
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Fast forward to a few weeks ago and our first night at Bonnaroo...The festival didn't start until the next day but there was a lot of hootin' and hollerin' coming from a certain area of the campground so we followed the noise to a little place known to Bonnaroovians as Shakedown Street. Apparently, Shakedown Street is the location of all the non-licensed vendors and one thing I noticed about all the females working these shops was that they were all wearing the same satchel belts as my lady from the dance studio. My desire for one of these belts instantly grew overnight, so the next day while perusing the shop tents in Centeroo, I found a place that sold them. I ended up purchasing this leaf engraved holster variety with turquoise stone detailing. I prefer to wear it with one satchel on my hip and one at the center of my back rather than holster style. I think it works perfectly with this little patchwork skirt I picked up on Shakedown for $30 and this open tulip back top from Old Navy. Thanks Bonnaroo, for making me look even more like a damn hippie!</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4IWoGJAVixw?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><br />Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-77594485952190885012016-06-28T15:41:00.000-04:002016-06-28T16:14:04.563-04:00Top Hat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dress: <a href="https://www.ae.com/women-clearance-aeo-cold-shoulder-fit-flare-dress-chalk/web/s-prod/0391_9378_131?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat90104" target="_blank">American Eagle Cold Shoulder Fit and Flare Dress</a></div>
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Shoes: <a href="https://www.ae.com/women-aeo-strappy-sandal-brown/web/s-prod/1415_2031_200?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat7900075" target="_blank">American Eagle Strappy Sandal</a></div>
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Belt: Anthropologie </div>
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Hat: <a href="http://www.target.com/p/women-s-hat-fedora-tan-packable-with-navy-border-merona/-/A-50085110" target="_blank">Target Straw Fedora</a></div>
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Bralette: <a href="https://www.ae.com/women-clearance-aeo-first-essentials-strappy-bralette-red/web/s-prod/0302_2358_600?cm=sUS-cUSD" target="_blank">American Eagle Strappy Bralette</a></div>
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"Who will take you down to up above? Oh, tell me who is the one you love?" - Twin Peaks</div>
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Say hello to my little friend...Bernie the Chicken, named after my favorite politician, nay, the ONLY politician I've ever given two shits about. Besides, what else you gonna name a Polish chicken with crazy white head feathers? </div>
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Bernie is a White Crested Black Polish Top Hat Chicken. Boy, that's a mouthful, and this little chicken is quite a handful! Most of our chickens run away when you walk up to them, but not Bernie. Bernie walks up to you and prefers to be held. In fact, I had to go get Bernie from the neighbors house two doors down yesterday because she was out just chillin' in the yard with the neighbor. Yep, Bernie is a people person, much like her human counterpart. </div>
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Man, it really sucks that Bernie Sanders didn't get the nomination. Donald Trump makes me physically ill, and Hillary is a Fakey McFackerson who is just in it for the money like all the rest. Anyway, I didn't really want to get into politics. I just wanted to express how much I'll miss Bernie Sanders, and introduce you guys to our Bernie in hopes of gaining some new readers, because...Everybody loves chicken!</div>
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Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-19879051525720564752016-06-23T18:13:00.000-04:002016-06-23T18:25:39.109-04:00Respectable<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dress: <a href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/shopsale-freshcuts-clothing/4130212061154.jsp#/" target="_blank">Anthropologie Costa Midi Dress</a></div>
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Shoes: Dolce Vida Tremor Wedges</div>
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Necklace: <a href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/pdp/index.jsp?&id=38494803&cm_sp=ORDER_HISTORY-_-PRODUCT-_-NAME#/" target="_blank">Anthropologie Luciana Tassel Necklace</a></div>
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Bracelet: Ruche</div>
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Ring: <a href="http://www.noralinafreedom.com/" target="_blank">Noralina Freedom Designs</a> via Bonnaroo</div>
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Temporary Tattoos: <a href="https://www.freepeople.com/shop/parisian-nights-tattoo/" target="_blank">Free People Parisian Nights Tattoos</a></div>
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"Setting sun, forgot who I was, put the garbage where it doesn't belong. All is numb, two minutes to one. What's your life like with all that you've done...Listen close wherever you go, dull times, let'em seep into your bones. Keep it kind, always in time. Honest themes every once in a while." - Band of Horses<br />
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I told you I was serious about this comeback thing. 2 posts in the span of 3 days...now we blogging. So, I have to be honest and say that this was a very contrived outfit. I put a lot of effort into looking like a nice, respectable 39 year old woman. Well, except the tattoo. I couldn't ditch the tattoo. It's pretty much a necessity right now given that I have a tan line on my arm that is in the exact shape of a penis. Yes, folks, the drawbacks of being all cute and wearing temporary tattoos to a music festival - downright weird and fucked up tan lines. I also have a big leaf shape on my chest. Looks like I'm stuck with an arm tat and high neck lines for the foreseeable future. </div>
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Anyway, this is not how I normally dress these days. The heels, especially, are a rarity in my world. I couldn't even walk in these fuckers. They literally felt like torture devices. The front strap on the right one actually broke in the middle of this photo shoot from all the pressure I put on it leaning on that tree. No big deal considering I brought flip flops to change into, and now I have something to add to that bonfire I've been planning with the kids. Heels for Smores - excellent trade. </div>
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The point I'm poorly trying to make here is that I wanted to show you people that I could dress like a respectable person and in the style that is expected of my age if I really wanted to do so, but where the hell is the fun in that? So, prepare yourself, good people, for all manner of fashion indiscretions coming your way soon. I've been doing some shopping at some of the teenagery and twenty-something stores lately like American Eagle, Free People and Forever 21. I've been buying items that I've always wanted but have shied away from in the past like leather fanny packs and suede fringe vests. Basically, I'm going through my mid-life crisis and you are invited along for the ride. It'll be fun!</div>
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Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-80602942193318518602016-06-22T00:41:00.000-04:002016-06-22T10:32:30.277-04:00Reboot<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dress: Anthropologie Arcata Patchwork Dress<br />
Boots: Frye Melissa Button Boots<br />
Earrings: Anthropologie Fringed Tambourine Hoops</div>
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Ring: Anthropologie Quercus Ring</div>
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"Let it happen..." - Tame Impala</div>
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So, I went to this little festival called Bonnaroo a couple of weeks ago and camped out with a bunch of like minded dirty hippies for 5 days and came back with a renewed spirit and love for life. I know. It's probably the cliche' thing that happens to everyone at their first music festival, and I'm pretty sure reality will bring me back down from this "radiate positivity" high I'm on right now, but fuck it, I'm going with it.<br />
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As my most loyal reader {cough stalker}, Richard Brooks, has pointed out to me, I have broken my own record of blogging absence and have not posted a thing in over 100 days. Well, I'm here to say "I'm back, bitches!" I'm feeling inspired and ready to take some narcissistic pics and write a shit ton of introspective drivel. Plus, I've got to do something with all these age inappropriate clothes I bought for that damn festival...<br />
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I've even given the old blog a much needed makeover. Yes, the header pubes of lore are gone, replaced with flowers. Say something about flowers, motherfucker. Also, I remember now why I haven't touched the layout in 5 years. I could literally feel the peace and love vibes leaving my body as I struggled with that son of a bitch of all websites, Blogger - but it's free. So, if you got a problem with the new layout, fuck you.<br />
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How appropriate that for a post titled "Reboot", I am wearing boots. How inappropriate that for a post during the first week of Summer, I am wearing boots. Oh well, it's a start.
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pFptt7Cargc?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-69407381068892966762016-03-10T18:21:00.000-05:002016-03-23T17:01:22.784-04:00Sound of Silence<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Top: <a abp="94" href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/pdp/index.jsp?&id=4112265634848#/" target="_blank">Anthropologie Printed Patch Tee</a></div>
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Skirt: <a abp="102" href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/pdp/index.jsp?&id=4120339181033&cm_sp=ORDER_HISTORY-_-PRODUCT-_-NAME#/" target="_blank">Anthropologie Plata Chevron Skirt</a></div>
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Boots: <a abp="106" href="http://shopruche.com/bash-ankle-booties-by-chelsea-crew.html" target="_blank">Bash Ankle Booties by Chelsea Crew</a></div>
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Necklace: Urban Outfitters</div>
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"I just sit in silence. Let the pictures soak." - Daughter</div>
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Just checking in to let you all know that I'm not dead, well not physically anyway. Sometimes I feel dead and don't know if I can call what I'm doing living. Sometimes the best part of my day is watching a person who has it worse than me on some TV show or movie. So, yeah. How's that for an opening after 3 months of radio silence?</div>
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Don't get me wrong. I do have positives in my life. My kids are awesome, and Jerry is just about the best partner in crime in this thing I call a life that I could possibly ask for, but I'm a pessimist, so I focus on the negatives. It's what I do. However, despite seeing the world half empty, I've always treated others with respect and feel I have gone above and beyond to be a nice person. Lately, though, something has changed in me, and I have zero tolerance for people's bullshit.</div>
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I've always been the type of person that avoids conflict at all cost. I would much rather concede an argument and be fake nice to someone rather than stand up for myself. I just felt like that was the right thing to do, but now I'm like "fuck that." Literally. I cussed somebody out for the first time in real life a few weeks ago, and it felt fucking fantastic. </div>
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Now, I'm not trying to promote going around cussing everybody out and being a complete asshole. No, I'm all about more peace and love in the world. I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. There are some people out there who are never satisfied with anything and treat other people like shit for no good reason. and as far as I'm concerned, those people deserve a good cussing out.</div>
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I don't know what it is that has caused this change in me. Maybe it's the fact that I've pretty much lived my whole life to please my mother, and she has never been satisfied with me. In fact, it's gotten so bad that she hasn't spoken to me in 2 months. The sad thing is that I don't even know what I've done this time that is so awful that she can't even acknowledge me as a human fucking being. I guess she is just generally disappointed in me as a person and has finally given up on a lost cause. No, I haven't killed anyone. No, I haven't gone to jail. No, I haven't been addicted to drugs. Her 2 biggest complaints: I suck at finances, and I'm not a morning person. Yes, folks, my mother would love me if only I had a banging bank account and left the house earlier each day. Truth is, though, if it wasn't those things, it would be something else. After 39 years, I've finally learned that it's her, not me.</div>
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So, yeah, I've found myself being a little more testy with shitty people lately, and it feels strangely empowering. It used to tear my nerves up to be mad at someone, but my old, jaded ass don't even care anymore. Of course, the ultimate test of this new and bad ass me will be if I ever stand up to my mother. For now, we pass each other in silence.</div>
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Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-62077117365729434662015-12-22T19:43:00.001-05:002016-03-23T17:02:47.013-04:00'Tis the Seasons<div abp="55">
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Top: <a abp="710" href="http://www.freepeople.com/shop/electric-orchid-print-swing-tunic/?cmCategoryID=3f4fea4f-86a9-4447-9e96-bab6a05ea793" target="_blank">Free People Electirc Orchid Print Swing Top</a></div>
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Jeggings: Hue Medium Wash</div>
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Boots: Frye Melissa Button Boots</div>
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Earrings: <a abp="816" href="http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/pdp/detail.jsp?&id=36835312#/" target="_blank">Anthropologie Metis Drops</a></div>
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This Fall outfit brought to you on the first day of Winter and it feels like Summer...</div>
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Bonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.com0