Size Matters

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Picture 10Picture 31
Shoes: Rocket Dog
Jewelry: The Limited

"Don't judge a book by the size of it's wrists." - Tegan and Sara

Oops! How'd that last picture get in there? Sorry guys, I couldn't help myself. I just felt the need to point out something. You see, it gets really frustrating when people claim that you lie about your size, or that you lie about anything for that matter. I know, I know, the best response is just to ignore those people and move on. The important thing is that I know the truth, etc., etc., etc... Ah, screw it, sometimes you just need to blow off a little steam. 

I read this little gem about myself recently:

"What I love is that she posts the sizes of the clothing (because that’s relevant) but not the shoes...Wave that “SMALL” flag all you want, but you look fucking pudgy. We see your poochy belly and your imperfect hips. So, are you sticking your gut out or lying, Small Town Pinocchio?? A medium (or large!) is NOT a crime. But I have worked alongside and been friends an Anthropologie Small for years. I have pictures of her, and I even glanced at them again. No way Small Town is a small!"

I don't consider myself to be an expert on size, or even on fashion for that matter. I just wear what appeals to me and what I deem to fit properly. I've always thought I had a pretty good eye for such things, mainly because I get a lot of positive feedback from others in real life. People are always complimenting me on my outfits and asking me where I got items in my wardrobe. I guess that's why it came as such a shock when I first started getting negative feedback on here. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was opening myself up to a whole new world, far removed from my small town (some would say backwoods) life. However, I didn't expect the level of harsh negativity to which I would be subjected. I mean I get it if someone doesn't like a certain item or outfit, but I've been told that every single thing I wear is horrendous and doesn't fit me right, aka "You don't know how to dress your body." or my personal favorite, "Size up!" I've also been told exactly what I should be wearing to flatter my body, like shift dresses, crisp white blouses, and blazers. (I'm sorry, but can you guys see me in crisp white blouses and blazers? Brooks Brothers here I come!) Now, I'm being told that I'm a flat out liar.

Given all this, it's no wonder I second guess myself all the time now when shopping for clothes. Take this dress, I tried it on in a size 8 and a size 6. I tried the 8 first, but Jerry and 2 SA's all insisted I try on a smaller size because I had a little too much room in it. Once I got on the 6, they all agreed it was the right size, but I was still hesitant. I knew the 6 was the right choice, but all the things I've read about myself online were in my head, messing with me. It's funny because before all this, before the blog and the snark sites, I hardly ever thought about size. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, it was nice when I fit into a smaller size. You know, because society has trained us to see that as a good thing. However, I've never once in my life tried to squeeze myself into something that was clearly too small for me for the sake of a size number. Comfort and appearance have and will always trump size number for me. This is why it's so frustrating when people say I lie about my size.

So, let's settle this matter once and for all, shall we? I'm not going around waving my small flag. I post the size of my clothing to help people decide what size they might wear themselves, especially those who don't have access to a store. I don't post the size of my shoes, because I figure most people don't need help figuring out what size shoe they wear. I don't care if I'm a size 6 or a size 16. I am not defined by a size. I'm a special snowflake fucked up in my own special way. I don't come with a label. However, my cloths do, so I truthfully provide the size number that resides on that label. It's as simple as that. I'm not trying to pull a fast one on the Internets, and I can prove it. I know how some of the haters like to zoom in on my pictures and stare at my crotch, my ass, street signs, etc. So, I got a little treat for them. They can zoom on in on that last photo up there. They can flip it around, analyze it, read it, and weep. So sorry, so fat, so size 6!

Tegan and Sara - Wrists

CONVERSATION

36 comments:

  1. You look so pretty in this dress! I love your hair a bit wavy like this, as well.

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  2. Perhaps the haters aren't familiar with anthro's vanity sizing. A size 6 at Anthro could easily be a size 10 in designer clothing. But what is curious to me is why you in particular get so many hateful comments. I can think of one very popular blog where the blogger rarely wears clothes that flatter her figure. She is much bigger than you and she wears tight skinny jeans which only help to accentuate her flaws. Anyhow she never gets negative comments. Never. She might just scare them away because she has such a following. I don't know but I really don't get why you get so many haters. I suspect it has to do with what you have shared on this blog but I also wonder if it is due to the fact that you always address your haters by giving them air time in your posts. Anyhow it continues to surprise me how mean people are on the Internet. I sort of liked being my naive self before the Internet even existed...I generally assumed people were good and nice.

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  3. I thought the pictures were all beautiful, until I came to that last one. It makes me sad, because you are so above the bad remarks, but you lowered yourself to their level. Just ignore them. It's not worth lowering yourself to their pettiness.

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  4. that last pic is awesome! I love it. ;)

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  5. You are absolutely beautiful. There is a whole new , vicious group of bullies out there because of the internet. Can you imagine how low they must feel about theirselves to revolve their lives around trying to hurt others? Ok, enough wasted on that group. The photos are fantastic as always.

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  6. Isn't it time women stop being so critical of one another? The bottom line is what makes us who we are is not our bodies, clothing or other possessions. To the person who said "you look fucking pudgy" how would you feel if someone said that to you? I am sure we all know someone who truly is overweight and how would you feel if someone spoke to your best friend, mother, sister that way? Why can't you allow Bonnie to enjoy her clothing and herself? She invests time to shoot these lovely photographs and keep the blog current so she can share her outfits with us. I have never met Bonnie, but I enjoy her blog and appreciate her reviews because I also love shopping at Anthropologie. I often review their products on the web-site and always include my stats to help others gauge how the garment will fit. I do not see anything unusual with her sharing these details as well. I would rather see Anthropologie clothing on Bonnie than on some nasty, stuck up, judgemental bitch.

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  7. You look gorgeous!! Ignore the ignorence!! Great photographs as always. :)

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  8. good for you. i'm shocked and disgusted at the way some people criticize others over the internet. makes me wonder what they are like in person. it definitely isn't an attractive attitude.

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  9. Anthro is actually very comparable to most designer brands. I thing the issue is because you have a very large chest and I think that can make one appear larger. I just had the most amazing experience with a bra fitting. It turns out most people wear the wrong size bra: usually they are one cup too small & a strap size too big. I thought I was a 38 c & I was getting ready to try a 40 b. Turns out I am a 36 d or a 34 dd in some cases. Anyway, Nordstrom has an awesome bra fitting service & with the anniversary sale going the prices aren't too out of reach. I think you will be amazed at the transformation. In any event you are a beautiful woman with a beautiful figure (not trying to sound creepy). And you look 100x better than below said blogger.

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  10. You look beautiful!

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  11. You look great in that dress; you look great, period. Don't let poisonous people erode your self-confidence. Express yourself and remember that you don't have to answer to them unless you WANT to let small-minded, malicious people to rob you of your verve and joy.

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  12. I also thought the pictures and outfit were nice until the last one *oops* got in there by accident. You feed the drama and snarky remarks by posting things like this, which just makes everyone believe you really do thrive on this all. Why don't you save yourself the remarks and just not post sizes. If someone really wants to know what size you got, let them ask you, don't proffer it. You give all the ammunition that one needs and it's shame you all just can't grow up.

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  13. I'm going to get the popcorn. This is going to be good.

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  14. Bonnie-
    When you refer to the snark sites, most of the time i dont even know who you are referring. You make us aware of the stuff they are talking about. May be you should stop reading those sites..you cant please or prove to everyone girl!
    If someone says something nasty on your blog, i've seen all your readers including myself having your back but whats the purpose of making blogposts that focus on negative things others say someplace else?
    Remember honey badget dont care? Dont give a damn about those sites.

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  15. That last picture had me laughing so hard! Thanks for the morning laugh, Bonnie! Love your blog so much and wish I had the courage to show my raw self as you do. Pretty much no one I have ever encountered is so freakin' honest about everything they feel. It is quite refreshing. Keep up the good work!

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  16. I wish that everyone was proud and comfortable in their bodies. Nothing is more attractive or empowering than self-confidence, even the most kick-ass outfit from Anthro. You are a beautiful, independent and strong-willed woman.
    While I sort of applaud the big F-you, you also knows that it helps to feed the fire. Don't give these hateful people the airtime or benefit of seeing you react so strongly. If you can't, and the negativity truly weighs on you, then maybe give yourself a break and turn off commenting all together for a little while?

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  17. i like that you put the size of ur clothes, i don't live in the states right now and i like to shop online. so thank you for posting pics, especially the dressing room new arrivals from anthro. it helps me a lot. i don't like negativity or profanity so i don't always read the blog but i always scan for the sizes and look at your pics .the photography and angles of the clothes are really important,and i appreciate that you don't just choose one that is the most flattering but they are realistic and very pretty.

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  18. I think I am one of the few who would benefit from knowing what shoe size a person wears because I am usually between an 8 & 8.5 but can sometimes be a 9. I suppose it would help if you pointed out a shoe that runs particularly large or small though.

    Oh, and the person who posted about you "lying about your size"? Who the heck has time to sit and think about this stuff, let alone post hateful messages about others? If someone walked into my closet right now they would find anything from a XS to an XL because of the sizing differences between juniors and womens. Who cares?

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  19. I don't always comment, but I think you look beautiful in every post. I can't believe people have the time to be constantly checking your blog just to criticize and cut you down. Get a life people!

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  20. I think it's sad that the previous post you did which included beautiful pics of your children is followed by this one of you giving the finger. I really hope you reconsider and take it down. We all need to think about what we're putting out into the world.

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  21. I read something recently that made me think of you --- it's a quote by a woman named Kathleen Hanna in an interview for BomBlog:
    "Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the Internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a stomach necklace, walking hand in hand with her hot boyfriend. She’s going on the yacht and having a mimosa. She’s not reading shitty comments about herself on the Internet, and we shouldn’t either. I just think, Would Beyoncé be reading this? No, she would just delete it or somebody would delete it for her. What I really need to do is close the computer and then talk back to that voice and say, Fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think. I’m Beyoncé. I’m going to Ibiza with Jay-Z now, fuck off. Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn’t. That’s our piece to let go."
    (source: http://bombsite.com/issues/1000/articles/6583)
    I especially loved, "Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn't."
    WWBD? haha.

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  22. Good advice! I'm happy to say I haven't done any seeking in over a week. Everytime I feel myself drawn to those sites, I'm going to remember WWBD. Thanks!

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  23. You're exactly right. I just can't help myself sometimes. I go there, read what's said about me, and can't help but talk about it on here because it's what's on my mind. I know it's my responsibility to not read it and to not give them any more attention than they deserve. I'm going to try and do better going forward.

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  24. I was just having a bit of fun with the last picture. I mean, after you've read some pretty shitty things about yourself, I think it's healthy to let off a little steam in a harmless way. Anyway, I hear ya, and I'm going to do my best not to bring this stuff up going forward. I'm still going to post the sizes, because I've been told by many readers that they appreciate it.

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  25. I stand by this post and my picture. It was an honest portrayal of what I was feeling at the moment. I have many different sides. Yes, I'm a mommy and for the most part can be a really nice person, but I also have a bitchy side given the right circumstances.

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  26. I hear you, and will work on my actions and reactions going forward.

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  27. ok a few things...
    1. That is by far one of the meanest comments I've ever read.
    2. I didn't even notice that was your middle finger until I read the comments - then I went back and looked at it and cracked up. (Hey i think its funny)
    3. Lots of websites let you know what size the model wears and how tall she is so you know what size to order - so I don't understand the big deal with sizing.
    4. I also wear an anthro small (last two dresses I bought there are 4s) but others are an 8 - whooooo caaaaaares?


    I think thats all - it just never ceases to amaze me the time people invest in tearing other people down... sad.

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  28. NycfashionindustryAugust 3, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Vanity sizing runs rampant at Anthro, J Crew and Gap/Old Navy, which may confuse some of your readers. I always wear a 0/2 in Anthro and the rest and usually a 4/6 in designer. I do find designer sizing to be more accurate when I reference actual measurements. You'd most likely be a 10-12 in designer clothes, but a 6/8 in Anthro sounds about right. I don't have nearly the same size chest as you but wear a medium in designer shirts, so a Small in Anthro is definitely not TTS. Makes shopping hard when sizes are all over the place.

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  29. I think I know who you're talking about. That individual heavily moderates comments, even ones that seem benign. I and several others have been turned off her blog because of her heavy handedess in moderating and controlling comments on her blog. I've also noticed other non-snark sites "hating" on her blog so I think haters come with the territory, the other person just doesn't give them a space.

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  30. LOL! I only noticed the middle finger when someone pointed it out, went back to your pic again, and cracked out! Way to go, gal!!!!


    Sometimes photos do not do justice to a real person, that is why we have this word 'photogenic'! There are people who look prettier on photos, and others who are the opposite. This is not reflective of their actual looks.


    Similarly for sizes. I am size 4 to 6, weighing 115 lbs. I thought that should be pretty ok, but hey! I look fat in most of my photos!!! Big mommy hips, big flabby arms, you name it. LOL! It took me awhile before I realized that people are built differently even if they are same size! A 5 ft 10" size 6 compared to a 5 ft 2 " size 6 look different even in same clothes. The size of shoulder, width of ribcage, whether we are rounder in the front and back or wider on the side even if we all have 38" hips make a big difference to how we look.


    I can understand your need to get back at haters, cos I will do that too. If people can be mean to us, we can be bitchy too.

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  31. I recently bought a size 2 dress that fits great. Most of my clothes are size 8, but some pieces in my wardrobe are sizes 4, 6, 10, 12, all of them fit. I think that's vanity sizing.
    I don't go around telling people about my size 2 dress, because I certainly don't look that small.

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  32. I always read your blog posts (even though I rarely leave comments). I just wanted to say that I LOVE the fact that you let us know what size you got. It helps me decide what size I should get. I never once thought that you were bragging. I hope that you don't let the nasty comments get to you...and keep doing what you are doing! :)

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  33. I had to hunt this dress down because of your blog! And why on earth does it matter to someone who is obviously wanting to read your blog what size you do or dont wear?!. Haters are going to hate and be jerks. And size doesn't matter when you are an asshole who likes to break others down- they come in all sizes!! Someone with class would never post such a rude thing like the comment you mentioned. Rock on I love your blog:)

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  34. Hi, you run such a splendid domain, it was impossible not to comment on this one! And I have a question for you. Is it a paid theme that you buy online or a free one?

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