Whirlwind

"Sunday pulls its children from their piles of fallen leaves...Springtime calls her children until she lets them go at last." - Iron and Wine

I stated in my last post that I was way behind on outfit posts. Well, I'm officially crazy behind on them now. There is just not enough hours in the day, especially during kid week. I've wanted to do a post since Sunday, but it just wasn't happening. You see, I pick up my kids every other Sunday and from the time their little feet hit the floor of my house, my life is a whirlwind of dropping off, picking up, doing homework, feeding, cleaning, etc., etc. That is until another Sunday rolls around, and then they are off to their dad's and the chaos is replaced by silence.

A couple of my single co-workers have said they envy my setup of one week with the kids, one week without. They say it's the best of both worlds, and the only way they could fathom dealing with the pressures of motherhood themselves. I say the grass is always greener on the other side. My life is in a constant state of change. It's so hard to get into a routine, and as you fellow moms know, routine is key when it comes to children. It's either feast or famine around my house. There is no happy medium. It would be so much easier to have the "usual setup" of the mom getting the kids most of the time and the dad getting them every other weekend, but I didn't feel that was the best thing for my children or my ex-husband. I wanted the kids to have equal time with both of us, so this was the best option we came up with. Don't get me wrong, it's working out very well and the kids seem to have adjusted wonderfully to it. It's just difficult for old mom (and I'm sure dad) sometimes.

I've got one child who has football practice 3 nights a week and another one who has dance 2 nights a week. My little girl started Kindergarten, so now I've got 3 kids with homework.  Thankfully, Jerry does homework with my oldest, so that's one less thing off my plate. However, my middle child is in third grade this year and the homework has gotten significantly harder, and we are struggling to get through it each night. Tuesday night is the only night all the kids come directly home, so we use that night to catch our breath. As luck would have it, PTA was last night and it lasted 2 hours. By the time I got home, it was 9pm, and I hadn't even started on their homework yet. I suddenly found myself completely overwhelmed.

Given all this, you would think I would welcome my week off from the kids, but it doesn't really work out that way. If I'm being honest, I do think to myself during particularly chaotic moments, "It's going to be so nice to have some alone time next week." However, as soon as my kids are out the door, and I'm left with a empty, quiet house, I'm incredibly sad. I miss my babies terribly when they are not with me. I usually get out of the house as soon as they leave, because the immediate silence drives me crazy. It's all the more difficult, because I don't have anyone to talk to who can relate. I know plenty of divorced people, but not a single one of them has joint custody.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I guess it's just what's on my mind today. I also thought it might help some of you who are struggling with the chaotic life that comes with motherhood to know that it's a privilege to do what you do on a everyday basis. I know it doesn't seem like it when you are struggling through those math problems or barely making it to all the different places you have to be each day, but it's not something that should be taken for granted. Enjoy this time while it lasts, because you will miss it when it's gone.      

Iron Wine - Passing Afternoon