Dress: Anthropologie Whirligig Dress
Shoes: Kensie Girl
Jewelry: The Limited
"Love and communication you were here for me at this very moment cause I found you on the phone." - Cat Power
I'm a introvert by nature. Communication has never been my strong suit especially when it comes to someone I love. For me, it has always been easier to share my feelings with strangers. It's a scary thing to be vunerable with someone you care so much about. The dreaded "what if's" pop into your head like, "What if he thinks bad about me or sees me differently after I tell him?" Those "what if's" have always kept me from sharing my thoughts and feelings.
I've been in a bit of a funk the past few days. My old insecurities have reared their ugly heads. I finally got up the courage to share these insecurties with the man I love. I became very emotional as I talked about the things that have been weighing on my mind lately. It was both terrifying and relieving. When I told him that I was scared of not being the best for him. He said, I don't care if you are the best, only that you are mine." Truth is, there will always be someone or something better, but the important thing is we are the best for each other. We may be imperfect people, but together we have the perfect love.
Cat Power - Love And Communication
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I'm a very lucky man.
ReplyDeleteWow, good for you that you opened up - super scary. I have the same problem so I completely get you. I save those conversations for my female friends for support. I wish you all the best as you open up more and more... I only hope I can be as brave as you one day. Big Hugs, Sherry xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou only live once right? Don't deny yourself what you want out of fear. You never know until you try. Personally, I'd rather live with the knowledge that I tried and failed than live with the regret of never trying and never knowing. That would be far more painful.
ReplyDeleteAnd why do you worry if you're "not the best for him"? EVERYONE has their "stuff", their baggage, whatever. No one goes through life without some damage. It makes you who you are and if he loves you and wants to stick around he will deal with any and all of it to make that happen. Why do we always feel guilty for our life experiences? They make us who we are. I say, put it out there and just be who you are.
Over the years I've given up on being the best for anyone, anyone else but me. I mean, I really just GAVE UP. In a moment of clarity (many moments actually) I realized that a massive amount of my stress was a direct result of my constant need to live up to what I felt everyone else expected of me. You know, getting past that and focusing on just trying to live up to my own standards for me really changed everything. I was able to make better, clearer decisions (for myself and for others I'm responsible for). I was freed from all the worries of what other people would think of me if I said or did something less than they expected. I will always be concerned about what my husband, the person who is closest to me, thinks. His opinion of me does matter very very much....but never as much as my opinion of me. I set my standard, everyone else in my life who cares to comment or cast an opinion about it must use my standard as their reference point or I just don't care. It sounds very selfish, adopting that sort of attitude, but in reality it benefits everyone you have to interact with.
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