"When the sun comes, dry tears from my eyes. So you come around as the weather starts to change, and you settle in. And the best has yet been made."  - James Vincent McMorrow

I'm still struggling through 2014 so far. I find myself looking back more than looking forward. I can't help but think that my best years are behind me. I'll never have the body, the hair, or the skin I had in my twenties. Hell, I'd settle for the body, hair, and skin I had 2 years ago...  My babies are growing up and becoming less and less dependent on me. The intense love that Jerry and I felt for each other has settled into a warm fondness scattered with moments of love but, oftentimes loathing. We fight over stupid shit all.the time. Just a week ago we were yelling at each other over football statistics. Yes, football statistics. That one had me reduced to tears and seriously contemplating what the fuck is the point of life if everything turns to shit.

Things have been better with me and Jerry this week, but now, all of the sudden, my mom has decided that she hates me. I have no idea what I did wrong, but whatever Zen she gained from her heart attack totally went out the window this week, and she was back to her old condescending and hurtful ways. As she was verbally berating me and making me feel like the worst person who's ever taken breath, I couldn't help but think, "Wow, I was just complaining to her about Jerry last night, and now I'll be complaining to Jerry about her tonight." What the fuck has a girl got to do to get some stability in her life?

I guess I need to get over my need for stability. It's overrated, anyway. Life is all about change, and yeah, it sucks sometimes, but that's just the way it is. Our happiness in life is not defined by our ability to hold on to the way that things have always been but in our ability to adapt to change. Evolution, Survival of the Fittest, Natural Selection - it goes by many names, but I truly believe that it is the point of life. It's basic, I know. It's not all deep and mysterious like God, religion, and the myriad of other things people latch onto to give their life meaning. Maybe I'll change my views down the road. Like I said, life is all about change. But for now, I'm going to put on my big girl hat and brace myself for each and every change in the weather. Besides, I have always preferred the weathered look, and there's always hope that the best is yet to come.      

 Sirretta Cardigan ($118) and  Laurelwood Boatneck ($58) I can't resist a good, comfortable cardigan, and since I don't own this particular color in my extensive collection, I decided to give it a try. The medium was a good fit. The shorter panels in the front looked a little weird to me, but I loved everything else about this cardigan (hello, it has lace details!) enough to add it to my collection. I even purchased the tee underneath it too since it went so well with the cardigan. It's just a basic striped tee, but I like the pop of yellow and the floral detail at the neckline. I also took this in a size medium, and the only complaint I had was it was a little short for my taste. However, since I have gotten it home, I've paired it with a long cami with lace detail at the bottom and that ended up looking great. Purchased both.


 Marya Dress ($88) The damn lace got me again! I love how this dress combines the casual comfort of a sweatshirt with the elegant beauty of lace. Let's face it, lace can be pretty uncomfortable, especially when worn on top, so I appreciate the thoughtful design of this dress. One draw back is that the cutoff between the knit and the lace is a bit abrupt, but a belt can easily remedy that problem. This is a size medium, and I really wanted to buy it, but I decided to be a good girl and wait a bit longer. Wish listed.

 Gael Dress ($98) I have several dresses like this, but I was curious about the fit of this one. I tried it on in a size medium, and I thought it was the right size for me, but there was just something about the fit that was off. I think the lighter colored panels on the sides were suppose to make me look slimmer, but I felt like they made me look wide - something no girl wants. Pass.

 Icefall Maxi Dress ($278) I fell in love with this beauty the minute I saw it online. However, it's super expensive and with no holiday party to attend this year, I saw no reason to order it. Ordering online has many advantages, but it can't beat the store experience when it comes to trying on things that I have no intentions of buying. I saw this lone dress hanging in my store, and even though it was a size 12, I couldn't resist giving it a go. It was way too big everywhere, but I could see the potential, and it made me want it. I think a size 8 is what I need. Once it goes on sale, I plan on trying to track one down in that size. Dammit, I'll find somewhere to wear it! Wish listed.


Sequin Cutout Dress($49.95 was $188) This is not my usual style, but Jerry convinced me to try it on. I tried it in a size 8 first, but there was too much fabric around the waist line, so I switched it out for the size 6 you see here. The 6 fit like a glove, and even though I don't totally feel like myself in this, I couldn't resist it for the sale price. Our holiday party was delayed for 2013, and I've heard rumors that we might be having an office party in February, so I thought this little red dress would be appropriate for a party during the month of love. Purchased.

This is my least favorite time of the year. The holidays are over, it's cold, it still gets dark early, and the landscape is brown and dead. I know it's a new year, and I'm suppose to be motivated by the opportunity for a fresh start and all, but my attitude so far has been more like "same shit, different day." It's just so hard for me to be in a good mood this time of year.

I decided to try and lift my spirits by wearing this colorful dress I picked up on sale about a month ago. It's called the Boheme Maxi Dress, and you would think with the word "Boheme" in the name I would have picked this sucker up as soon as it hit the website. However, I was unsure about purchasing it even on sale because it has a few patches of (gasp) animal print on it. In case you didn't know, I despise animal print. Actually, despise is not strong enough of a word. Zebra, Cheetah, Tiger - it makes no difference, I hate them all equally. I'm not quite sure where my disdain for animal print originated. I just feel like it's really obnoxious and gaudy. Maybe it's because I live in the South, and I'm inundated with it all the time. It's on purses, shoes, wreaths, flags, you name it...it's every-fucking-where! No offense to the animal print lovers out there. This is just my opinion. You guys are definitely in the majority, so don't kick my ass for speaking my mind, mmmkay?

With the support of a friend, I managed to get over my prejudice of animal print enough to give this dress a try, because let's face it, everything else about it screams "me." Once it arrived in the mail, and I tried it on - the deal was sealed. Due to the thin material, this dress is probably better suited for warmer temperatures, but I did my best to winterize it.  I resisted the urge to throw on a long cardigan and opted instead for a structured jacket. I finished the look off with a pair of my favorite booties.

Wearing this dress didn't completely snap me out of my Winter blues, but it did lift my spirits a little bit and that's definitely a step in the right direction. During these dark days, I will continue to try and find things to brighten my world. Each day is getting longer, and soon the light and warmth will return.