Curly Top

I've been a bad, bad blogger this year. It's getting pretty ridiculous how slack I've become on posting. Kudos to those of you who are still visiting. I've noticed my views have dwindled down significantly from what they once were, not sure if that's due to the lack of posting, bad content, or a combination of both, but I'm still planning on plugging away at this thing I've created here, for better or worse.

Maybe I'm not as motivated to blog as I once was because things have been going pretty smoothly in my life. Negativity has always seemed to inspire me way more than positivity. Sad, but true.  Don't get me wrong, I still have problems, even the same old ones that have haunted me for years. I guess I'm just better able to deal with them now. Something in me has changed lately, and I feel more confident and comfortable with myself than ever before which is strange considering I just keep getting older and fatter. I keep thinking, "Man, if I had just had the confidence I have now when my skin was tight and my body was bangin'. I could have conquered the world..."

I was reminded recently just how much I've changed both physically and mentally when I wore this beautiful, lacy top. The last time I remember wearing it for the blog was in a post that garnered a lot of attention for it's melodramatic glorification of a scandalous affair (True story, haters, deal with it). I was 2 years younger and 10 pounds lighter, but I remember being so scared of everything - scared of how I was being perceived, scared of what people were saying, scared of just being me.

It's so funny how life works. I may not be as "hot" as I once was on the outside, but I feel hotter than ever inside. I'm much more comfortable with who I am as a person and all the things that make me uniquely me. In fact, I've even been sporting my dreaded curls as of late. It all started when I went down to Florida for vacation. There's no fighting the curls in that humidity, so I had to just go with them. Combine that with 2 weeks of humid, overcast conditions here at home, and well, I said fuck it and stopped doing any styling at all to my hair and have been going au naturel. It's felt really liberating. I know on the surface it's just hair, but deep down it's so much more than that. The simple fact is that it feels really good to let go of trying to be who you think everyone else wants you to be and just be yourself.        

Of Montreal - Lysergic Bliss