Sweater: Anthropologie Warmth and Respite Cardigan
Boots: Anthropologie Brass and Band Booties
Necklace: Anthropologie Feather Frond Necklace
I'm going to make a general statement here and feel free to argue against me if you want: People prefer to be around those who accept them for who they are rather than ones who try to control them. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but time and time again I see people cut loved ones out of their life, hurl hurtful words, and lay down cruel judgements all in the name of "You didn't do what I wanted you to do." Sure, they'll try to sugar coat that shit and make it seem like all they did was love you and you went and hurt them beyond repair, but in reality it's just a classic case of pouting because they didn't get their way.
Let me tell you something, you people who think your way of life is the only way, you're only hurting yourselves. You are shutting kind, caring people out of your lives because "You can't handle the truth!" The truth is your dad may not love your mom anymore. Your kid may want to meet her biological father. Two people of the same sex may want to get married. The list goes on and on.
Love is not a bargaining tool. It not something that should be given or taken away depending on someone's actions. It's an uncontrollable feeling. It's a natural process, not a conscious decision. In some cases, it's a shot through the heart when you are least expecting it.
It's completely illogical to make people suffer for their feelings, yet people do it anyway. What do they expect to gain from it? Do they really think that they can just lay down the law and threaten to take away their love and you will respond with, "Oh, ok, I'll stop feeling that way then?" And even if you did respond that way, how can they be satisfied with living a lie rather than facing the truth?
I think they tell themselves whatever they need to in order to justify their actions. They weave tails of entrapment and stories of woe. They become a legend in their own minds and you become the villain. When the simple truth is you felt a certain way, you told them about it, and they lost their shit and decided to punish you for it. Of course, they have every right to punish you if that's what they choose to do, but that's just it. They don't see it as a choice. They see it as a forced hand, which is mighty convenient since it relieves them of all responsibility.
Here's how I see it, though. We are all responsible for our actions. Feelings are uncontrollable, but actions are not. Given this, when we are faced with our feelings, we should always choose the action that promotes truth and love. For example, I'm a very insecure and jealous person, so when I think Jerry might be checking out another woman, my feelings can get really ragey. In the past, I would throw something at him and cuss him out. Now, I calmly tell him that I love him, but that him looking at that bitch is really pissing me off. Instead of getting in a huge fight, he tells me that he is not checking out said bitch, and we move on with our lives.
Another example that's just a tiny bit more important than my jealousy issues and has been getting a lot of media attention lately is people's views on gay marriage. No matter how you look at this issue it all comes down to a group of people who think their feelings give them the right to take away other's choices. Fine, I get that if you innately feel that homosexuality is wrong then that is something you can't control. However, you can control the actions you take to prevent others from having the same choices as you. The bottom line is if two people love each other then it doesn't really matter how you feel. It's not about you. It's bigger than that, so get off your high horse and stop punishing them.
As you can tell, I feel pretty strongly about all this. Honestly, I didn't intend on blogging about this today. I was searching for songs and ran across "The John Wayne" by Little Green Cars. The lyrics reminded me so much of how helpless and defenseless we are when it comes to love. This made me think of situations that have happened in my own life and in particular, a situation that is currently happening to a family member. When I put that together with the current events concerning gay marriage, it all seemed to fit. So, I felt now was the right time to talk about it. As with everything on this blog, this is just my opinion, and I respect your right to have a different one. However, I just don't understand how you can possibly go wrong if you choose the path of truth and love.