Truth and Love

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Sweater: Anthropologie Warmth and Respite Cardigan
Boots: Anthropologie Brass and Band Booties
Necklace: Anthropologie Feather Frond Necklace

"You know it's your neglect is the reason that I'm so obsessed with you...It's easy to fall in love with you." - Little Green Cars

I'm going to make a general statement here and feel free to argue against me if you want: People prefer to be around those who accept them for who they are rather than ones who try to control them. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but time and time again I see people cut loved ones out of their life, hurl hurtful words, and lay down cruel judgements all in the name of "You didn't do what I wanted you to do." Sure, they'll try to sugar coat that shit and make it seem like all they did was love you and you went and hurt them beyond repair, but in reality it's just a classic case of pouting because they didn't get their way.

Let me tell you something, you people who think your way of life is the only way, you're only hurting yourselves. You are shutting kind, caring people out of your lives because "You can't handle the truth!" The truth is your dad may not love your mom anymore. Your kid may want to meet her biological father. Two people of the same sex may want to get married. The list goes on and on. 

Love is not a bargaining tool. It not something that should be given or taken away depending on someone's actions. It's an uncontrollable feeling. It's a natural process, not a conscious decision. In some cases, it's a shot through the heart when you are least expecting it. 

It's completely illogical to make people suffer for their feelings, yet people do it anyway. What do they expect to gain from it? Do they really think that they can just lay down the law and threaten to take away their love and you will respond with, "Oh, ok, I'll stop feeling that way then?" And even if you did respond that way, how can they be satisfied with living a lie rather than facing the truth?

I think they tell themselves whatever they need to in order to justify their actions. They weave tails of entrapment and stories of woe. They become a legend in their own minds and you become the villain. When the simple truth is you felt a certain way, you told them about it, and they lost their shit and decided to punish you for it. Of course, they have every right to punish you if that's what they choose to do, but that's just it. They don't see it as a choice. They see it as a forced hand, which is mighty convenient since it relieves them of all responsibility. 

Here's how I see it, though. We are all responsible for our actions. Feelings are uncontrollable, but actions are not. Given this, when we are faced with our feelings, we should always choose the action that promotes truth and love. For example, I'm a very insecure and jealous person, so when I think Jerry might be checking out another woman, my feelings can get really ragey. In the past, I would throw something at him and cuss him out. Now, I calmly tell him that I love him, but that him looking at that bitch is really pissing me off. Instead of getting in a huge fight, he tells me that he is not checking out said bitch, and we move on with our lives. 

Another example that's just a tiny bit more important than my jealousy issues and has been getting a lot of media attention lately is people's views on gay marriage. No matter how you look at this issue it all comes down to a group of people who think their feelings give them the right to take away other's choices. Fine, I get that if you innately feel that homosexuality is wrong then that is something you can't control. However, you can control the actions you take to prevent others from having the same choices as you. The bottom line is if two people love each other then it doesn't really matter how you feel. It's not about you. It's bigger than that, so get off your high horse and stop punishing them.

As you can tell, I feel pretty strongly about all this. Honestly, I didn't intend on blogging about this today. I was searching for songs and ran across "The John Wayne" by Little Green Cars. The lyrics reminded me so much of how helpless and defenseless we are when it comes to love. This made me think of situations that have happened in my own life and in particular, a situation that is currently happening to a family member. When I put that together with the current events concerning gay marriage, it all seemed to fit. So, I felt now was the right time to talk about it. As with everything on this blog, this is just my opinion, and I respect your right to have a different one. However, I just don't understand how you  can possibly go wrong if you choose the path of truth and love.

The John Wayne by Little Green Cars on Grooveshark

CONVERSATION

15 comments:

  1. Couldn't have said it better myself.

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  2. I concur! I just had my own altercation about this topic earlier this week and couldn't find the right words. Of course then it turned into an attack on how im morally bankrupt for supporting it. This is excellent!

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  3. This is religious persecution. I should not be forced to marry gay people, administer birth control, perform abortions, provide birth control coverage (since when has that become health care anyway if is contrary to my religion and my beliefs. And yes it is already becoming illegal to practice my faith. That is wrong. We have freedom of religion guaranteed by the constitution and your freedom from religion does not trump my freedom of religion. This is excellent: http://11onmyown.com/2013/03/29/why-i-am-against-gay-marriage/

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  4. This is religious persecution. I should not be
    forced to marry gay people, administer birth control, perform abortions,
    provide birth control coverage (since when has that become health care anyway
    if is contrary to my religion and my beliefs. And yes it is already becoming
    illegal to practice my faith. That is wrong. We have freedom of religion
    guaranteed by the constitution and your freedom from religion does not trump my
    freedom of religion. This is excellent: http://11onmyown.com/2013/03/29/why-i-am-against-gay-marriage/

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  5. Couldn't have said it better myself.

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  6. Hmm...religious persecution seems like a bit of a stretch to me. Being a non-believer, I am definitely in the minority in my neck of the woods. In fact, the public school that my children attend prays at every PTA meeting. I find that odd since the constitution says there should be a separation of church and state.


    I don't agree with anyone or any establishment such as the government forcing people to do anything against their beliefs. On the other hand, I don't believe in religious beliefs being forced on people either. In my opinion, one doesn't trump the other. Everyone can be free to live as they see fit only if there are equal rights for all.

    I'm not very informed when it comes to laws in other states, but If there are laws that are forcing priests to marry gay couples then I do not agree with that. Honestly, I don't understand why a gay couple would want a priest who doesn't believe in gay marriage to marry them anyway. There are plenty of churches who are excepting of the gay lifestyle as well as non-religious options for marriage.

    I'm not a big fan of abortions, so you want find much argument with me there. Although, I'm not really an activist against them either. I just wouldn't have one myself and therefore can't really support them. I've never heard of doctors being forced to perform them, though.

    As for birth control, there are many things I pay for with my taxes that I don't agree with, but the government doesn't give me much choice, so I just have to deal with it. I feel we're all pretty much in the same boat with that one.

    Lastly, I have never heard of it being illegal to practice any faith in the US. That would certainly be unconstitutional if it were the case.

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  7. This is very well stated and I agree completely. People used the same tired arguments in the past, to keep people from voting, to keep people segregated, and other similar things. I hope that as we move forward, people will look back and think, how could it have ever been that way? As far as I'm concerned, religion is no basis on which to tell others how to live.

    You've just gained a regular reader. :)

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  8. There are laws in at least one state (Kentucky?) that makes it illegal NOT to believe in God. I wish I could give you the actual reference where I read this, but I can't at the moment. As far as I'm concerned, THAT is persecution, if anything. I'm as free not to believe as anyone else is to believe anything they want.

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  9. There is no such thing as separation of church and state, but rather there is to be no state religion.

    ObamaCare is persecuting those faiths that cannot support these things as an article of faith. They face shutting down, hefty fines or imprisionment for following the faith. Here in Chicago, Catholic Charities already had to shut down. And in this country as I am sure most others the Catholic Church does far more than the government to allieviate poverty. In Denmark priest are imprisoned for their refusal to marry gays. This is beginning in this country with ObamaCare. How is this not religious persecution!

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  10. I hear ya dude. Have at it. Might have to turn in my man card, but my fantasy tanks and shorts are gonna be chased around this old farm house. She's more than I know what to do with, or can handle at times.

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  11. Oh religion! I don't really believe in the rules made by people to control other people. I don't think God is all that picky about the details. I think God's only rule is "don't be an asshole". Basically as long as your are honest, responsible for your actions, and treat others with kindness and respect everything else is relative. Who is it really hurting for a man to love another man or a woman to love a woman? It's not hurting anyone! What's hurting people is unkindness and small mindedness and the inability to just get over what they don't understand.

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  12. There is no such thing as separation of church
    and state, but rather there is to be no state religion.

    ObamaCare is persecuting those faiths that cannot support these things as an
    article of faith. They face shutting down, hefty fines or imprisionment for
    following the faith. Here in Chicago, Catholic Charities already had to shut
    down. And in this country as I am sure most others the Catholic Church does far
    more than the government to allieviate poverty. In Denmark priest are imprisoned
    for their refusal to marry gays. This is beginning in this country with
    ObamaCare. How is this not religious persecution!

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  13. Sorry Bonnie, I don't want to hijack your lovely blog but as an Illinoisian I should put something right with Missy's comment.

    Catholic Charities shut down their foster care and adoption services
    in Illinois after the state passed civil unions bill for LGBT couples.
    After a long and nasty fight, they reached an endgame on the question of
    whether Catholic Charities can enjoy state subsidies while denying
    services.

    Catholic Charities could simply decide not to accept state subsidies. I just don't see persecution here.

    Anyways, lovely post and great picts.

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  14. I'm not sure whether Missy's posts are examples of ignorance or a deliberate attempt to spread misinformation, but these claims are utterly and totally ridiculous. Religious persecution? Forcing priests to marry gay couples?? Forcing doctors to perform abortions or pharmacists to provide contraception?? Ludicrous!

    It has always been any priest's choice not to marry a couple and in fact many priests do just that for various reasons--like a couple not having been members of the parish for a set period or not attending pre-marital counseling. Likewise, doctors CHOOSE to be abortion providers--no one is forced to do it, which is why in many areas of the country, there aren't any! Even Missy's claim about Chicago's Catholic Charities shutting down appears false--there's nothing about this on their website or in the news. I call troll.

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  15. Sorry Bonnie but if Mr jerry left his wife,while checking you out somewhere he sure can do it to you as well ! you need to know that.

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