A Golden Night

"I want your love and I want your revenge. You and me could write a bad romance." - Lady Gaga

I love everything about this outfit, I love everything about these pictures, and I loved everything about this night. I know it must seem very lame of me to get all dressed up and actually get excited about my annual office Christmas party, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I do. As a middle-class mother of three, I don't have many opportunities to get all gussied up and enjoy myself on someone else's dime, so I take this event very seriously.

The plan going in (as it is every year) is to arrive as early as possible to take full advantage of the 45 minute cocktail period. It really is ironic that my company chooses to have only 45 minutes of cocktails to prevent people from getting drunk, when in fact, most of us end up drinking way more, way faster than we would have if alcohol were available for the duration of the evening. Anyway, my consumption rate has gotten increasingly better every year. You know what they say, practice makes perfect! If you remember last year's post on this event, you remember that I got just a tad bit tipsy... Well, this year I was even more successful, or shameless, depending on how you look at it.

I got very drunk, like spilling my drink and staggering drunk. By the time dinner was served, it was quite a challenge navigating stairs and people in order to get my food and sit down, but I managed to do it with Jerry's help and without embarrassing myself too much. While we were eating, the band started up, and I found myself so excited that I just couldn't hide it...literally. I was really feeling the music and just couldn't be still. I grabbed Jerry's hand and led him downstairs to the dance floor, and I'll be damned if I didn't get out there and shake it like I just didn't care.

Now, you must know, this was pretty monumental for me. I LOVE to dance, but I hardly ever do it in public, especially now that I'm old. I danced occasionally at the clubs when I was in college but that's about the extent of my public dancing experience. Each year I am among the majority at this party who stand on the sidelines, pretending to be "above" the silly dancing but secretly feeling jealous that we don't have the balls to go out there and shake it ourselves. I don't know what changed this year. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the new, more intimate venue, or maybe it was something deeper.

Last year, Jerry and I had only been together for a few months. I was still feeling the guilt, and still experiencing the awkward looks and whisperings from others that come along with a socially unacceptable romance. I felt the need to hide out in the corner and not disrupt the nice, moral folks evening. Well...except for that little moment when I grabbed Jerry's ass.

This year it felt good to just put it all out there on the dance floor. As we danced, I felt myself letting go more and more. Strangely enough, I had surprising balance for a drunk chick. It was like my super power dance skills kicked in or something. Then, the band starting playing Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, and I looked around and noticed that we were the only ones on the dance floor. I also noticed the crowd of co-workers gathered around the dance floor staring at us. It was then I had a moment of insecurity and doubt. A moment where I thought about running off that dance floor as quick as I could with my tail between my legs. Thankfully, it was just a moment. The chorus kicked in, I looked into Jerry's eyes, and I shook everything my mama gave me and then some. I forgot about everything and anyone else and danced my ass off with the love of my life. Oh, and the irony of the lyrics of this song was not lost on me. It was one of those rare, perfect moments in life. I was emboldened, I was proud, and I was free.