Muted

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Blouse: Anthropologie Lily of the Valley Blouse - Size 8
Sweater: Anthropologie Hiking Ruffles Cardigan - Size M
Shoes: Civico 10
Hair Pin: Anthropologie

"You set my soul alight." - Muse

I had a conversation with a co-worker yesterday. I complimented her on her pants, and she told me thanks but that she had no idea why she bought pants that color. The pants were blue but not a bright blue. They were more of a cornflower blue (wow, that's a crayon color I pulled out of my brain from my elementary school days). Anyway, I told her that I didn't usually care for colored pants but that hers were muted and that made all the difference. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "What in the hell is muted?" I laughed and said, "You know, toned down, not bright." She said, "Wow, I've never heard that before. It sounds good, though. I think I'll start using it all the time now, and I'll probably use it in incorrect ways. You know, like this: 'That's a very muted outfit you have on today.' "

It's funny that I had this conversation because I just purchased my first pair of colored jeans this past weekend. Yes, I know, I'm late to the game. In my defense, I've been wanting a pair since they came on the scene but hadn't found the right ones yet. It's not for lack of trying. Every time I have visited a Anthropologie store over the past year, I've given a pair of colored jeans a go. If you recall, I posted a pair of Pilcro's in a fitting room reviews post that were disastrous on me. I have admired the bright blue and red one's donned by many a blogger, but those colors just didn't feel like "me." I needed a muted pair. Well, I finally found them online at American Eagle. They were just what I had been looking for, and, of course, they were sold out in every freaking size. Not one to be deterred, I did a store search (what a great feature! You go AE!) and found a pair 30 miles away. The rest is history.

Okay, so this might be too much information, but I'm just going to put it out there, because I'm a blogger and that's how we do. I've become disturbingly fascinated with my crotch lately. This is what happens when every time you wear pants you're told you have camel toe by annoymous crotch watchers. I find myself scutinizing my crotch in photos all the time now, zooming in and getting really close to the screen to detect any hint of definition. I also find myself looking at other women's crotches in photos, comparing them to mine. It's bizarre behavior to say the least. Well, when I saw these pics, I told Jerry, "I'm going to get slammed by the crotch watchers for these." He assured me that there was nothing wrong with my crotch, but I have to say I'm really paranoid about that 4th photo up there. I love the photo. It's my favorite one from this shoot, but my crotch seems to be saying, "Hi, here I am!" I swear, you guys, it's not because my pants are too small. I tried on a size 8 and 10, and the 8's were definitely the better fit. They are even a little loose in the waist. I've come to the conclusion it must be one of 2 things: 1. My pants are all up in my junk because I sit all day. or 2. My crotch is akin to a black hole that sucks everything in it's vicinity into it's gravitational pull. I really hope it's number 1. Otherwise, I'm scared. One thing's for sure, my crotch is not a muted crotch. ;-)
    
Muse - Supermassive Black Hole

CONVERSATION

48 comments:

  1. This post (last paragraph) literally made me Laugh out Loud!

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  2. Whew! That's a relief! I was afraid no one would get my sense of humor and this post would end up going very, very wrong. LOL!

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  3. You look gorgeous! Very feminine and sweet : )

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  4. I don't usually comment but I am laughing my ass off. I hope that it's not number 2 either because that could be very awkward at farmer's markets or button stores....

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  5. DYING. I think that the crotch issue is why I wear skirts...I'm paranoid about the tiniest hint of camel toe.

    Love the muted outfit.

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  6. LOL! You're too funny, Bonnie. It feels so very creepy saying this, but I don't see anything wrong with your crotch. This is an adorable outfit and pink is a great color on you.

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  7. I thought it was hilarious too. I teach 8th-gradersm, and when one student makes a comment about anything I wear, I obsess silently at home. So I totally get it--you're hilarious.

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  8. If you're long-waisted (I am) you're almost certain to get that fitting problem. It doesn't mean your pants are too small for the width of your hips!

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  9. I think you need some magic undies that focus on crotch smoothing! Some anti-camel-toe-panties perhaps?!

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  10. HA! Crotch Watchers! Too funny!
    But, honestly, I have the same anxiety! I have a pair of red corduroys that I don't wear anymore for the same reason. But don't fret, your muted jeans look great---the crotch watchers will have to set their sights elsewhere today!

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  11. You are HILARIOUS! I am wiping away the tears from laughing so hard.

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  12. I was literally giggling throughout the entire paragraph! This is so utterly hilarious, Bonnie (goodness it feels good to laugh; I didn't realize how much I needed that!) PS - the pants are very cute.

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  13. Thank you for the giggle this morning, I certainly need it this morning. You are too cute! Love, love, love this outfit! Something very whimsical and romantic about this outfit and very slimming on you. :)

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  14. I love this outfit.....everything about it.....the colored jeans, the sweater. the shoes, EVERYTHING! You are so funny. I never even notice the crotch problem. All of the fashion blogs have the same very minor issue. It's all about sitting down and getting a few wrinkles there. I am so curious about your house. Are you going to close in a few days? Can't wait to see pictures of it!

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  15. Crotch watchers! LOL I never really noticed your crotch before, but it looks slammin' in these photos. Now I'm going to be paranoid about my own crotch! I've never been into the colored jeans before either, but you've won me over with this outfit. Love this color.

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  16. I LOVE this outfit....it's probably my favorite one that you've posted. You look amazing-- please wear jeans more often; you have really great legs and can actually pull off skinny jeans really well (this is a feat that most are incapable of)! Love the colors too-- they really complement your hair and skin tone. And your crotch is totally fine-- seriously, don't stress over that. I wouldn't even have looked there if you hadn't said something. I see nothing wrong! But yeah, perfect outfit. I just scoured ebay for the Anthro blouse.....no dice; it's super expensive :(

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  17. I was laughing my ass off with this post, Bonnie! SO, so funny! I love your sense of humor!

    The colors in this outfit are gorgeous, btw! I love colored jeans, even the bright ones!

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  18. Is this outfit out of your comfort zone? I guess it's not something I expected to see on you... not that it is a bad thing at all. I actually adore this outfit. It is totally my style! And oh my goodness! "Anonymous Crotch Watchers!" I will be laughing over that little gem for days, I'm sure. Thanks for another great post.

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  19. Bonnie - Iove this outfit on you. Your legs are so long (a little jellie here - I am "short-legged"). AND you crack me that you are obsessed with your crotch and camel toe. You look fine - and normal! If you had a bulge there I would be worried! LOL. And if there was a HUGE "line of demarkation" I would let you know (as a friend and in private) that here might be a little too much going on there! YOU LOOK GREAT! Be obsessed with something else... how about eye buggers. That is a relatively safe obsession.... :) I am just being crazy and silly cuz it's Friday. Have a great weekend! Sherry xoxo

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  20. Me too! ROTFL! Love the skinnes, Bonnie! And we're on the same page, I used the word crotch in todays post too... lol... I said "watch shot" which made me think "crotch shot" thankfully neither of us have actual crotch shots up! ha!

    Crotch gazers be damned!

    Jenny

    www.flowercityfashionista.blogspot.com

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  21. I think it's brilliant that you've gotten this many comments singing praises for your crotch! HAHAHAH!! Good for you - and I love the muted pants, by the way. Have a great weekend...

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  22. Seriously Bonnie I just had surgery and laughing literally hurts!!! I laughed out loud and probably burst a stich thinking about how creepy those anonymous crotch watchers must look zooming in on your goodybits!!!! Lmao I seriously can't stop cracking up!!! You look amazing like you always do!!!

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  23. I love cornflower blue! I just designed a pillow in cornflower blue, and in my novella, there are lots of cornflower blues! : )

    hahahahahhahahahahaha funny about the crotch!

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  24. LOL! Great minds think alike. I was actually thinking that someone needs to invent some panties that have the same stuff in them as the bras that keep your nipples from showing. Hell, maybe I'll invent them. They could be the next big thing!

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  25. Actually, no, this outift isn't out of my comfort zone. The top and the sweater are definitely in keeping with my boho style, and I wear skinny jeans often, just not the colored variety. I feel comfortable with this particular color because the muted pink has a very romantic feel to it. Glad I could give you a good laugh! Thanks!

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  26. Thanks for weighing in on the crotch. That makes me feel better. Despite my comical attitude, I really was stressing over it. Glad you like the outfit. I like to wear jeans, but I can't wear them most days because of work. I may start wearing dress pants again, though. We'll see. Dresses are just much more comfortable for sitting in all day. Sorry you didn't have any luck on the blouse. If I ever want to sell mine, I'll give you first dibs, that is if you are the same size.

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  27. Thanks! I've never had anyone compliment my crotch before. Mission accomplished! ;-)

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  28. Awesome! It feels good to be responsible for someone's good laugh!

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  29. Yay! Tears from laughing are the best!

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  30. I checked out your watch shot post. Cute photos!

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  31. Yay, I made Mike laugh! Is this going to make things awkward on Sunday? LOL!

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  32. LOL! Huge bulge? Line of demarkation? Hilarious! Oh, trust me Sherry, I have MANY other obsessions. I've only been brave enough to share them with Jerry. Let's just say I love the skit that George Carlin did on picking things off your body and examining them! I can sooooo relate! LOL!

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  33. Thanks, Catherine! I was so afraid of posting this. I let Jerry read it before I posted it, and he ALWAYS says publish immediately after reading one of my posts, but he was hesitant about this one. Looks like the risk paid off this time! What a relief!

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  34. Thanks, Bea! I'm so relieved about the response to my crotch. I was really starting to worry I wasn't normal! LOL!

    Our closing date is 4/30, but it looks like that's going to be pushed back a few days due to the
    USDA being backed up with other loans. I'm going crazy with anticipation. Jerry is afraid I'm going to scratch his eyes out if we don't close soon. LOL!

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  35. Thanks, girl! Glad I could start your morning off right!

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  36. I wonder if their is a name for being afraid of your crotch. Crotchaphobia maybe? ;-)

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  37. Oh, I don't know what I am. All us girls measured ourselves in the office one day, and they told me that I was long-waisted, but a lot of commenters have told me that I'm short-waisted. I just wear what I think fits, and I almost always get a second opinion about fit from a SA or Jerry.

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  38. LOL! That's funny, Diane! I would do the same thing! Kids can be brutally honest, but I've found that most of them, especially at the age, are no fashion experts.

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  39. Thanks, Rebecca. Oh, and I'm not creeped out. It takes a lot more than that. ;-)

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  40. I can't stand anything in my crotch. Skirts and dresses are the best! The crotch needs to breath! LOL!

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  41. Ok, this is all kinds of cool! I've been reading your quotes on Goodreads for over a year now, and here you are commenting on my blog! I'm going to try not to be a creepy fan girl, but I just have to say I love your writing. It really speaks to me. I also have to say I'm slightly embarrased that the first thing you read on my blog was about my crotch. LOL! Thanks for stopping by!

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  42. It all went according to plan. I went fishing for compliments on my crotch, and they bought it, hook, line, and sinker. Bahahahahahaha!

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  43. In my defense I was grinning ear to ear, but when she asked about posting I assured her there would be flak, but to post anyway.

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  44. Hahahahhahah i love this one homey:) Laughter from the crotch monster for days !!!!!!!!!

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  45. Such a pretty outfit! And different from what you usually wear. I like how you decided to wear an older piece - honestly I wish I could see more of that in blogs. I know it's exciting to have newer pieces featured, but sometimes it feels like they're walking ads for Anthro - which is not necessarily a bad thing, but i know that's not their intention. I would love to see older items styled more! I wish a blogger would do a weekly feature or something, showing an older item and how it can still be styled and worn now and still look fresh and beautiful!

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