“Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I found this quote today from Ralph Waldo Emerson. I'm kinda obsessed with quotes and am familiar with many of his, so I was surprised to run across one I had never read before. I don't know how this quote managed to escape me for so long, because I do believe it is now my favorite of his. I love the analogy and imagery evoked as he describes life as a train of moods.
My 2 year blogging anniversary is coming up soon, so I took some time today to reflect and read over my posts from the past 2 years. The biggest thing that struck me is that my posts were consistently happy and positive in the beginning and then took a turn for the dark side. I realize that to the outside world, I must appear to have been much happier before I made all the changes I did in my life. However, nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is I was focused on painting a pretty picture in the beginning. This blog was just a hobby and as so many do on the Internet, I only saw fit to share the positive details of my life. As changes started to happen to me and in my life, I found myself wanting to be more open with my readers. This blog became more like a journal for me. For the first time in my life, I searched my feelings, wrote them out, and became aware of what I really wanted out of life. My ex often says this blog was responsible for the demise of our marriage. I don't agree. I believe it's responsible for the awakening of my spirit.
I got something else out of reading through those old posts. It's something I've been aware of for some time now, but it was reinforced by this exercise. I have a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of my life over the positive. I portray my life more like a misery train than a mood train. Again, nothing could be further from the truth. I simply am more inspired to write when my mood is on the darker side of the spectrum. I would like to find a better balance going forward. Let's start today, shall we? Here are some positive things that are going on in my life:
First off, I'm wearing a new, pretty dress. I'm really excited about all the ways I can style this dress in the coming months. Winter's chill is still in the air, so for it's first time out, I styled it for cooler weather. I'm loving the boots and sweater with it.
Secondly, I had a great week with my kids. Saturday was especially nice. We had a picnic in the park, ate watermelon on the back porch, and sat on the tailgate of Jerry's truck and watched the kids ride their bikes until the sun went down.
Lastly, I'm so in love. Jerry and I have been together for a year now, and it just gets better and better.
So, there you have it. 3 positive things in my life right now. That wasn't so hard, not my most eloquent or profound writing ever, but it's a start.
My life is not a misery train nor is it a train wreck, like so many like to say. It's more complicated than that, and it's a hell of a lot more than what you read on this blog. It's not black or white. It's not even grey. It's the full spectrum of colors. It's a train of many moods, and I wouldn't have it any other way.