Life of Many Colors

Picture 88

Picture 90

Picture 105

Picture 92

Picture 102


“Life is a train of moods like a string of beads; and as we pass through them they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue, and each shows us only what lies in its own focus.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I found this quote today from Ralph Waldo Emerson. I'm kinda obsessed with quotes and am familiar with many of his, so I was surprised to run across one I had never read before. I don't know how this quote managed to escape me for so long, because I do believe it is now my favorite of his. I love the analogy and imagery evoked as he describes life as a train of moods.

My 2 year blogging anniversary is coming up soon, so I took some time today to reflect and read over my posts from the past 2 years. The biggest thing that struck me is that my posts were consistently happy and positive in the beginning and then took a turn for the dark side. I realize that to the outside world, I must appear to have been much happier before I made all the changes I did in my life. However, nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is I was focused on painting a pretty picture in the beginning. This blog was just a hobby and as so many do on the Internet, I only saw fit to share the positive details of my life. As changes started to happen to me and in my life, I found myself wanting to be more open with my readers. This blog became more like a journal for me. For the first time in my life, I searched my feelings, wrote them out, and became aware of what I really wanted out of life. My ex often says this blog was responsible for the demise of our marriage. I don't agree. I believe it's responsible for the awakening of my spirit.

I got something else out of reading through those old posts. It's something I've been aware of for some time now, but it was reinforced by this exercise. I have a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of my life over the positive. I portray my life more like a misery train than a mood train. Again, nothing could be further from the truth. I simply am more inspired to write when my mood is on the darker side of the spectrum. I would like to find a better balance going forward. Let's start today, shall we? Here are some positive things that are going on in my life:

First off, I'm wearing a new, pretty dress. I'm really excited about all the ways I can style this dress in the coming months. Winter's chill is still in the air, so for it's first time out, I styled it for cooler weather. I'm loving the boots and sweater with it.

Secondly, I had a great week with my kids. Saturday was especially nice. We had a picnic in the park, ate watermelon on the back porch, and sat on the tailgate of Jerry's truck and watched the kids ride their bikes until the sun went down.

Lastly, I'm so in love. Jerry and I have been together for a year now, and it just gets better and better.

So, there you have it. 3 positive things in my life right now. That wasn't so hard, not my most eloquent or profound writing ever, but it's a start.

My life is not a misery train nor is it a train wreck, like so many like to say. It's more complicated than that, and it's a hell of a lot more than what you read on this blog. It's not black or white. It's not even grey. It's the full spectrum of colors. It's a train of many moods, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

CONVERSATION

22 comments:

  1. Bonnie....uggghhh! You are a beautiful woman but you make so many POOR CHOICES with what you wear! This dress makes you look pregnant! You would look so much better in a tailored pants and blouses than these godawful sacks you keep wearing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with you - blogging can totally help you work out the twisting thoughts in your head. Maybe it did help you work out in your head what was wrong in your life...but why wouldn't your ex be relieved that you both didn't stay in a bad situation? And that you were able to see that? When one party isn't happy it isn't a successful relationship so the marriage was wrong way before any blog helped you see that! He should be happy one of you figured that out.

    It's good to focus on the positive - things are coming together for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't mean this to be rude but you may want to look into getting a more supportive bra. Your boobs are practically hanging by the waist in this outfit. As a short-waisted woman myself I know it's a challenge sometimes dressing around a short torso. This particular dress doesn't do you any justice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I try to be open minded when it comes to critiques, but, seriously lady, my boobs are practically hanging by my waist? Anybody with eyeballs can see that's not the case. Yes, maybe they are not as perky as usual, but I have on a strapless dress. It's kinda impossible to wear a "supportive bra" in a strapless dress. I'm sure you are going to say that I shouldn't wear a strapless dress then. What is up with people's obsession with boobs having to be up to your chin? What's wrong with being a little au naturel sometimes? And who told you I have a short torso? Honestly, I have no idea whether mine is short or not. I just wear what I think looks good on me. Why does getting dressed have to be so damn complicated? I'm not concerned with pushing my boobs up, sucking my tummy in, elongating my torso, etc., etc. I just wear what makes me feel good, and I couldn't stop smiling when i tried this on in the store. It feels like me, and I love it, saggy boobs and all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think he knew for awhile I wasn't happy but thought he could fix it. He thinks the blog took me away from him. He just doesn't understand which was precisely the problem. I think he will see in the long run that it was the best thing for everyone. He's a good guy and deserves someone who will love him whole heartily.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL! Godawful sacks I keep wearing? I went through my last few posts trying to find these sacks you speak of. I have no idea what you are talking about. In fact, I usually get critique for wearing my clothes too tight. I wore pants and a blouse a couple of weeks ago and was told I had camel toe. The fact is I prefer dresses because they are more comfortable. I have to sit in a chair all day long, and frankly, it pisses me off to have something tight around my waist and all up in my crotch. That's why I think it's funny when people tell me my clothes are too small. I hate tight clothing! My style is more relaxed and that fits my personality. If that looks like a sack in your opinion then so be it. I happen to be very fond of my sacks. You should try them. They really are comfy!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes, Bonnie, please tell us all when you're going to retire your individuality and start wearing pantsuits over support hose and the entire line of Spanx 'smoothing' undergarments. Don't forget give up those impractical cute shoes that make your ankles and big toe look fat for some nice comfy EasySpirits. While you're at it you should probably stick with a simple classy gold chain with a small indiscreet charm and a pair of sensible post earrings that go with everything. Chico, Coldwater Creek and major department stores nationwide are breathlessly awaiting your reply.

    Sheesh. Girlfriend, please, worry about your own boobs. The only person who should worry about which direction Bonnie's boobs are looking is Bonnie. And, because apparently the obvious need to be stated; that dress has a casual high waist with an optically challenging pattern. Duh. It's supposed to look like that.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I thought you weren't going to post negative comments anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I actually like this dress on you, it very much fits your style aesthetic. Happy blogging anniversary to you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I saw this pic when I went to Anthro's website today and thought I'd post it. I'd say this chick's boobs are in about the same spot as mine are in the above photos. If it's good enough for the model, it's good enough for me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Seriously? Seeing Bonnie in "tailored pants and blouses" every day would make this an incredibly uninteresting blog. The precise reason I visit here is to see her step out, take chances and try new things, which inspires me to do the same. Bonnie herself will be the first one to say when she feels an outfit didn't turn our quite as she imagined it in her mind's eye. But to be so critical and downright rude is just pointless. What does that achieve? And for the record, I like this outfit. I think it shows that something like a strapless dress can be more versatile than we might initially think. Keep doing your thing, girl.

    ReplyDelete
  12. <3 this on you. I'm jealous of ladies that can carry off a handkerchief hem - at just about 5', on me it looks as if I somehow got dressed.... wrong.

    I've been styling it for ladies with this belt:

    http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/accessories-belts/24312100.jsp

    with the buckle in the back - the coral really picks up on that pop of color at the hem!

    ReplyDelete
  13. If your pants are all up in your crotch and around your waist, then they are too tight. Wow, you just cannot take criticism of any kind can you? The lady above is right you do need a more supportive bra. It's hard to hear but it's true! We are just trying to help you look better.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I actually think this dress looks quite nice on you. I am actually very short waisted.... don't see this with you. You look very feminine and flirty. I wish I could pull this off as well as you do!

    ReplyDelete
  15. leave your poor husband alone and out of your blog. My dad left my mom to be with someone who made him "happier" and my sisters and I have always seen him for what he was - a selfish, narcissist. Your kids will too because you clearly can't hide it. Thank God when I was growing up we didn't have the internet so I didn't have to listen to my dad or his mistress gloat about their affair and attempt justify their actions to make themselves feel better. Did you ever consider what your children will think when they grow up and read all about how you broke up the family and RUINED another woman's happiness. You have put it all out there so nicely for the world to see and the majority of us despise you for it. You are a joke on the internet and a horrible human being and your insistence on rubbing your affair in the face of your husband and Jerry's ex-wife is disgusting.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love the watermelon and hanging out on the back of the truck! That is such a great image :) I love the summer don't you?! I can't wait to see how you style up this hankerchief (spell???) dress w/ sandals!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh my Lord - I just read the other comments. Silly. I think you look great. I love a boho look. That's all it is - it's just an easy boho look!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Whole heartily? Do you mean whole heartedly? That's right up there with "walla".

    ReplyDelete
  19. Some of the biting comments are completely ridiculous. Saggy boobs? Guest, you're probably part of the ITBC, anyway. smh...
    Bonnie, this dress looks great on you! Your fitting room review even has me on a hunt for it in store. I love the sweater you paired it with also. Anthro, is it?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love that you are honest here, that it is not all rainbows and butterflies! That's life! I find that refreshing to read.

    I am glad you are so happy, Bonnie! And this dress is gorgeous!! I can't find a strapless bra for the life of me that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyeballs out after an hour of wearing though. I usually look longingly at strapless dresses then remember the eyeball gouging, shudder, and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Why are you trying to help her look better? Has she asked you to? Is this the purpose of the blog? I don't understand you. Your comments are unconstructive and negative. Go away.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Well you are being rude. You lack tact and manners, and your "advice" is not useful. You can go away too.

    I just want to see read what Bonnie has to say, check out the great photography, and see some new clothes.

    ReplyDelete

Back
to top