Dress: Anthropologie Tupelo Dress
Shoes: Urban Outfitters
Leaf Ring: Sundance
"In truth, the forest hears each sound, each blade of grass as it lies down. The world requires no audience, no witnesses, no witnesses." - Bright Eyes
Walt Whitman said, "I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey work of the stars." I think this is such a beautiful concept. No matter how insignificant we may feel at times, we must remember that we are just as important as the next person. In a world where everyone wants to be like everyone else, we should embrace our individuality and just be ourselves. After all, it's your most important asset - to be uniquely you.
Yeah, I talk a good game, but I'm no Mister Rogers. I have to constantly remind myself of this concept of individuality. I get really uncomfortable around large crowds of people. I tend to think everyone else is better than me, and I'm horrified of standing out. I find myself wanting to just blend in with the crowd.
Case in point: We were taking pictures yesterday on the side of the road during rush hour traffic, and I found myself becoming very self-conscious of all the staring eyes in the comfort of their air conditioned cars. I know this sounds weird coming from someone who posts pictures of herself on the Internet, but it's different in real life. I don't know why, it just is. Anyway, it became a pretty ugly scene in my mind. I was hot and sweaty and all these people were staring at me and some of them were talking to their passengers... and, oh God, some of them were laughing... I felt panic set in, so I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself. I thought about the leaves of grass. Why do I care what these people think about me? Hell, they are probably not even thinking about me. They are probably thinking about their own problems. Why should I feel uncomfortable because I'm doing something out of the ordinary? The only thing that should matter is what I think about myself.
I guess my point is that it can be so easy to just fall in with "the crowd." It's alot harder to be yourself, especially when "yourself" is a crazy, fashion-obsessed girl who gets her pictures taken every day in weird, random places around town. However, it's what makes me unique and that's why it's so important for me to overcome my fears and do it. We are all different, and that's a wonderful thing. Everybody belongs somewhere, and I feel I'm right where I'm suppose to be.
Bright Eyes - I Must Belong Somewhere
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You look absolutely beautiful! And I love the title Leaves of Grass - Walt Whitman is one of my favorites. And you're absolutely right, who cares if anyone stares or laughs - if they were, they were probably thinking or saying "Wow, she's beautiful! I wish I were her!" :) Kudos for being yourself!
ReplyDeleteah so jealous that you got this dress! it is absolutely beautiful! And I am way to scared to take pictures in public!
ReplyDeleteyour hair looks amazing!!
ReplyDeleteThis is the beauty of being in your 30s, Bonnie! Who the hell cares what other people think? Do your thing, girlfriend!
ReplyDelete(They probably were wondering what famous person they were watching from the side of the road, btw.)
You know I have been stalking your blog for a while now. For five years I have admired your ability to express yourself through your clothes. I always thought you had it so together ... glad to know "the truth" - No one really has it together!
ReplyDeleteI had to just let you know that reading this post made me seriouly think about my self lately. You know I have just made some big changes in my life. Your words made me even more aware of my inner struggle to be true to me. I can't help but try to channel my "inner Bonnie" as I try to continue to be myself in an almost foreign atmosphere!
I also had to laugh a little at the thought of rush hour in the "Small Town" vs. rush hour here aka. Cincinnati.
I don't think your reaction to being watched is any different from anyone else. People who are used to being scrutinized have these same emotions from time to time. It's funny that you feel this way with your friend and photographer by your side. Because I only have that feeling when I am taking photos alone. Which has become standard lately. When someone else is behind the camera I really enjoy it because I don't have to worry about all the issues of the camera, angles and timing.
ReplyDeleteI hope the Tupelo Dress looks half as good on me as it looks on you. The Blue is Golden for you. The cut is flattering. The leaf ring perfection.
My dress arrives Monday night. Here's hoping it fits nicely.