"Become the weeds, we will become."
- Iron and Wine
"Weed: a plant that is considered by the user of the term to be a nuisance. The term weed is a subjective one."
I've always loved weeds. I admire their independent spirit, resilience, and wild nature. I think it's unfair that certain plants are deemed weeds by society. Who are we to say they don't belong? Some weeds can serve very important purposes. One of my favorite weeds, the dandelion, is edible and can be used for medicine. I also find many weeds to be very beautiful as evidenced by the many photo shoots I've done with them.
Sometimes people can be like weeds. Society can deem us to be unacceptable because we don't follow the rules. We are judged and scorned for having our own ideas and ways of life. The problem is it's subjective. I don't believe anyone has the right to tell me that I'm a bad person because I'm not serving the purpose they want me to serve.
I've had a really hard time lately dealing with judgmental comments. I've let them get to me and was in an angry mood today because of it. I just keep reminding myself of the weeds. They get knocked down, but they keep coming back. They will be damned if anyone will kill their spirit.
Iron & Wine - Your Fake Name Is Good Enough For Me
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Top: Ruche Across the Prairie Peasant Top
Jeans: Pilcro Straight Leg Jeans
Belt, Earrings, Ring: The Limited
Shoes: KensieGirl Neyelle
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Bonnie, you are one cool chick, and I admire your courage, strength, and self belief :) We also entrust weeds with our deepest wishes....keep on blowing those dandelion seeds into the wind and your visions for life will come true! Saskia
ReplyDeleteYou always have a wonderful way of putting things into perspective with your words. You are also prettier than any woman should be allowed to be! :) Hang in there, Im rootin for ya! Live is just one big journey, and what we do along the way. And Id like to say f*ck you to all those that have left you negative comments!
ReplyDeleteI know it's easier said than done, but don't let the negative comments get you down. It's frustrating to read the small-minded comments, so I can't imagine how it feels having them directed at you. Those people (more likely just one or two people with a lot of extra time) are lashing out because they're insecure or unhappy. Being judgmental and mean makes them feel better about themselves. Kind of ironic, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI love dandelions, which are considered as weeds. I love your top too, its beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love your spirit of not letting anybody crush or bring you down.
Good luck. The path will be hard but worth it at the end. I understand what you did and why you did and I am proud. Not many people will have the courage to break out of routine life, no matter how sad or unfulfilling it is, and give their life and needs some importance.
Hope you find happieness. Remember you are not the only one doing this, celebrities do this all the time. Its just easy for them since they have lot of money but harder for us since we have to worry about all those things.
You will get thru this. Hang in there.
It is very hard to hear negative comments when deep down, though we'd never admit it publicly, we know there is probably some truth to them. I am sure you feel some guilt about the affair, some worry about the long-term effects on your children of growing up in a broken home and part of you has to wonder if the fire and fun of a new relationship will wane as it did with your marriage. Marriage and relationships take work. This new one will eventually too.
ReplyDeleteWhat's done is done though. You've had an affair and left your marriage. There is no un-doing that, even if you wanted to, though I know you don't. The other annonymous commentors should realize that. There is no going back now. A relationship is forever damaged when an affair happens. What is left to do is to move forward, hope for the best, help your children and your family with the transition, all of the things that you are doing. I am sure you are already well aware of the magnitude of what you have done. I think that is what those comments are trying to impress upon you.
As to the pictures, love the top!
A note for all the haters:
ReplyDeleteWhy do we have rules and norms? Because for some people it makes life easier. For some people life if like going to Ikea and buying a piece of furniture. "If you follow these steps you will have successfully built a coffee table." If you follow these rules life will make sense. On the flip side, rules somehow keeps us from considering everything else that's out there that could be. Some people fail to see that life is boundless if you let it be boundless. Some people can't handle that and feel safer inside their safe square boxes.
It's easy to judge other people. It's the easiest thing in the world actually. But have you ever noticed that the rule followers, the one who did everything they could to stay in the lines, the ones who scorned others for their life choices, are the most dissatified in the end?
Don't live your life in accordance to someone else's expectations or you will wake up one day and feel deep anguish that you did.
what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. <3
ReplyDeleteHi Bonnie,
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love reading your blog, I'm wondering if it might be best for you to take some time away from it. I'm assuming you're in some kind of therapy or have some great friends and confidantes in whom you can confide. That may be easier on you than opening yourself up to public scrutiny and nasty comments day after day.
I believe strongly that the only two people who really know what goes on in a marriage are the husband and wife, and everyone else should just mind their own business. That said, it can be hard for other wives and mothers to read about the actions of another woman--actions they don't agree with--and stay silent. So again, it might be worth the peace of mind to take a little break, focus on dealing with your emotions and the changes in your day-to-day routine, and deal with the (hopefully temporary) loss of your mom's presence.
Just a well-meaning suggestion. You're asking a lot of yourself to ignore the hurtful things people say anonymously--I don't know anyone with a heart who could do that. Why subject yourself to it right now? You need all the emotional reserves you can get.
Take care. :)
Bonnie - I hope you find peace with your family and, most of all, with yourself. This journey, though difficult, will lead you closer to the person that you were destined to become. In the words of Winston Churchill, "If you're going through hell, keep going." Keep your journey towards self-actualization moving forward with your head held high. Pay no attention to the bullies who try to project their disgust with themselves onto you.
ReplyDeleteHeather
I love how happy you look in the recent pictures. It's a pleasure to see. :)
ReplyDelete-Victoria
As much as I would miss your pretty pics and outfits, I have to agree with Lauren S. I have been rooting for you since the beginning and hoping that you eventually find the happiness that you seek. But it is hard to read all these negative comments. And we all know there will ALWAYS be haters in the world. The only thing we can do is just stay away from them, because we can't get them to stop talking. So why give them more to talk about? You deserve to be happy and to have people jeopardize is something I don't think you need in your life right now. Maybe start a personal journal that is only accessible to you and put your feelings there if you haven't already?
ReplyDeleteHang in there, I am rooting for you! - Jenni
I agree with Lauren S. Either that or turn off the comments. The anonymous folks are probably people you know taking swipes at you (which is some punk ish). You don't have to subject yourself to that abuse daily for the sake of a blog. Blogging should be a fun pursuit, not something that adds to your burden. If you decide to go on hiatus, it might also help you curb your spending and urges to spend since you won't be online as much. I'm not a blogger, but I may need to take my own advice since all this blog reading and online store cruising is tempting me into an over-consumptive lifestyle. (I need to unsubscribe from some of these store newsletters too, lol.)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great outfit! Is that belt a recent purchase? I am going to have to get my hands on one of those.
ReplyDelete