"This is for the ones who stand, for the ones who try again, for the ones who need a hand, for the ones who think they can." - Greg Laswell
It's been awhile since I've written on here, but I think I've found my voice again. Nothing like a negative life experience to get the ole' writing juices flowing again... Ever hear the expression, "He looks like he just lost his best friend?" Well, I literally just did. My best friend decided she didn't want to be friends with the likes of me anymore. Apparently, I did the one thing that she couldn't handle after all these years - I stood up for myself.
I'm starting to learn a hard lesson after my 38 years on this earth - nice guys finish last. I know, I know. It's such a cliché' pessimistic statement, but I'm telling you, I'm finding it to be all too true. Before you start tearing down my argument, I should clarify that I'm not saying you shouldn't be a nice person, just that nice people don't usually get ahead in life. Also, by "nice person," I mean someone who is a people-pleaser. Someone who gives a lot of thought and time to what other people think about them to the extent that they will overextend themselves or inconvenience themselves to make other people happy.
For more than half of my life, I was a people-pleaser, with my own mother being the Queen Bee of the hive of people I sought to appease. My worth in life was in direct correlation with people's approval of me. Then, at the ripe old age of 33, I said my very first "fuck you" to those people and followed my heart instead of everyone else's wishes. Damn if that didn't set off a shit storm... It was a doozy of a first rebellion, though, so I thought to myself, "It'll go better next time." Not so much.
This new me - people don't like her. She's a selfish bitch for wanting to be treated fairly, for wanting to do things for (gasp) herself. The funny thing is these same people have other friends, friends who treat them horribly, who they have no problem with at all. These friends can do no wrong. In fact, they seem to love them more for it. What's up with that?
I think we set precedents for ourselves. People who have always stood up for themselves and don't put up with people's shit, they seem to be more respected by the general population than those who are constantly dancing around trying to please people. And those of us who were former people-pleasers but have finally decided to start standing up for ourselves? Well, we've got it worst of all. We have set a precedent with the people in our lives that we are the ones who will put up with their shit with a smile on our faces, so when we finally decide to call them out on it, we are no longer valuable to them. They drop us like a hot potato and don't look back.
The bright side is that it's never too late to start again. For every person who doesn't appreciate this new, bolder you, there is a person out there who will. But most importantly - you respect yourself now. No more Little Miss Sunshine! If I've got to blow sunshine up someone's ass in order for them to be my friend, well then, they were never really my friend anyway.