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Ring: The Limited
Sunflowers: My Garden
"If you need to you can get away from the sun, you can get away from the sun." - Unknown Mortal Orchestra
I made a conscious decision a few years ago to stay out of the sun. Prior to that decision, I had been somewhat of a sun worshipper. I mean I wasn't tanerexic or anything like that, but I did make an effort to keep a pretty good tan. When I was younger, I would lay out for hours in the yard. Here I am on my 20th birthday:

Ok, so maybe I was a little bit tanerexic.

 As I got older it became increasingly difficult to find the time to get my sun the old fashioned way, so I began forking over the money to lay in a tanning bed. This is pretty much how I got my sun for many years except, of course, during my pregnancies. There's was no way in Hell I was going to be pasty white AND fat, so I made time to lay out in the sun when I was with child. Each weekend, I would set aside a few hours to squeeze my pregnant ass into a bikini and bask in the sun in my back yard. In fact, I laid out during my last pregnancy up until my 9th month. Here's the proof:

Styling and Profiling Until the End

It's hard to believe, but my boobs actually looked small compared to my belly.

So, why did I make the decision to stop tanning after going through so much trouble for so many years? The simple answer: I'm too old for that shit. For one, it takes a lot of time and effort, and I've been pretty short on both of those since having my third child and turning 30. Also, it's kinda bad for your skin, and, you know, I think about those kind of things now that I'm a "responsible adult..." Yeah right, who am I kidding? I'm just too damn lazy and tired to get a tan these days. The only bed I lay in is the King-sized one in my bedroom, and I'm usually accompanied by some pretty tasty junk food. I've become that thing I feared six years ago - pasty white and fat. Oh, and I can add old to the list now since I'm approaching 40. 

Adding insult to injury is my place of residence. It's tough not having a tan in a Southern coastal community. I try to embrace my paleness and tell myself that my skin is much healthier now, but nothing makes me feel less sexy than seeing my blinding white, you-can-see-every-fucking-hair-follicle legs next to a pair of sun-kissed tanned ones. I know what you are going to say - self tanner. Been there, doing that. I put it on every day, but I have to use the real subtle ones, because the darker ones make me look like a Oompa Loompa. The only answer, really, is to get a tan, but I'm determined not to go back to the "dark" side.

I've got to start excepting that I'm not going to look like I did 10 or even 5 years ago and that's a good thing. My looks may be going down hill, but I'm gaining so many other things - more important things. Instead of getting oiled up and laying out on the beach, I'm slapping on sun screen and running down that beach with my little ones who are squealing with delight at the ocean waves. Instead of spending 30 minutes in a tanning bed each day, I'm spending that time in the bed with Jerry (just cuddling...get your mind out of the gutter). In other words, I'm choosing to get my sunshine in other places, and while it may not tan my body, it sure does warm my heart.

From the Sun by Unknown Mortal Orchestra on Grooveshark



  1. even though I don't worship sun I love tanned skin without age spots and freckles, my solution? Airbrush legs by Sally Hansen. :) I really want to try professional spray-on and I don't know anyone who tried them yet. You look lovely with those sunflowers!

  2. Kristin Moore SzalayAugust 13, 2013 at 6:01 PM

    Although you're gorgeous both tan and fair, truthfully I think you look younger and healthier with the "pasty skin." You look like you are glowing-and not in a bright white beacon of light sort of way either. Lord, at least you "could" tan. It never happened for me. EVER. I had to come to terms (and I struggled) with the white white white skin my lovely ancestors from England and Scotland bestowed on me. The only time it really bothers me is when I wear a swimsuit-it seems a tan kinda smooths and tightens everything whereas with fairer skin everything just sort of hangs, sags, and bags. I suppose we've got to work what our mamas gave us. :) And remember that we will still be hawt at 80-looking like young girls of 65!

  3. You look great in the "pasty" pics! I especially love the hair.

  4. ... except your fair skin looks fabulous! Rock the pale. :)

  5. Tanning is your skin's way of saying "ouch." It's so damaging - it's like a bruise. I've learned to live with my pale skin, especially after an ex told me I was like Snow White :) I think your current skin color is lovely. None of the self tanners look good on me, but for my wedding, I did a custom spray tan in the lightest shade. Standing there while someone carefully sprays you with color is kinda weird, but it looked really nice and natural. I haven't done it again, because it was expensive, but it's nice to know there's an option.

  6. Yeah...I used to be a sun worshiper too. But really, who wants to get old before their time? besides, you're at your most beautiful in your 20's and 30's - you should save some of that up for later! I keep thinking that I'll be really grateful that I stopped tanning when my skin looks great in my 40's and 50's and all those other tanorexics look like old wrinkley frumps. Although I've given up tanning I never ever leave the house without some blush. It makes you look glowy and healthy with minimal effort.

  7. My god, you were beautiful at 20! Did you wear more makeup then? LOL. I need to wear more.

    I'm super pale too, I've been liking Jergens gradual in fair/medium - it's pretty subtle & I only apply to my legs.

  8. Thanks! Nope, my makeup routine has pretty much been the same since I was a teenager. I wore darker shades back then though since my skin tone was darker. I probably should wear more makeup, but it already takes me long enough to put on what I do wear. Of course, my family tells me I shouldn't wear any at all, but they are all crazy. I went to a family get together this weekend without makeup and my Aunt raved about how much better and younger I looked without makeup. I looked like a freaking zombie. LOL!

    I use Jergens too, and like you, I only apply it to my legs. My legs would be even whiter than what you see here if I didn't use it.

  9. Yeah, that's the way I try to look at it. My skin is no longer damaged which is a good thing. Also, Jerry says he likes my white skin and makes me feel good about it. Still, it's hard when the "ideal" out there in the media is tan skin. I was shopping for underwear on Victoria's Secret's website yesterday and felt pretty bad about my white, flabby body after an hour or so of looking at all those tan and toned ones. Oh well, I might as well get used to it. It only goes downhill from here.

  10. Thanks, Jenny! It's been so humid lately, so my hair has a mind of it's own these days.

  11. Bless you, Kristin! You always know the right words to say to make me feel better about myself! And, yes, wearing a swimsuit is the worst when you are pale. No tan to hide behind. It's all out there!


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