Shaggy Chic

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Boots: Anthropologie Buckled Paddock Boots
Necklace: Anthropologie

"I need time to stop moving. I need time to stay useless" - Cloud Nothings

It's been a week full of deadlines and places to be, and I've just now gotten time to catch my breath. These were taken way back on Monday when the temperature almost made it to 80 degrees. It felt strange to be wearing short sleeves and going bare-legged in the middle of January. If this dress looks familiar, it's because it was one of the items I coveted in my Free People post last week. Jerry and I made a quick trip to Durham this past weekend, and I couldn't help but stop into the Free People store to try on some of the items I saw online. This dress was the only one of it's kind in the store because it was an online return, and it just happened to be in my size. I fell in love with it and decided to bring it home with me. Now that I've worn it out, I'm not so sure about it anymore. Even though it's sold out in this color online, it's gotten bad reviews, with people comparing it to a drab sack or a trash bag. 

The first issue I had was the drawstring. I wasn't sure whether to wear it loosely, like the model in the catalog shot, or draw it up tighter to define my waist. I would have preferred to wear it loose, because I feel that's the way this dress is meant to be worn. However, I ended up drawing it up tighter, because I thought it was more flattering to my figure. Looking at these pictures, I'm not sure if I made the right decision or not. My next issue was with the skirt/slip thing underneath. It's super short, and I was paranoid that I might be flashing people my lady bits all day because the longer skirt is completely sheer. Lastly, I think I might be too old for this look. I took my son to a doctor's appointment, and I felt really awkward wearing this. All the other moms in the waiting room had on nice, tailored pieces, and there I was in my granny boots and weird hippie dress.

I don't know. I've been really struggling with this getting old thing lately. Relaxed and laid back pieces are more my style, but they do seem better suited to the younger set. And then there's the inevitable deterioration of my body which doesn't seem to look good in anything anymore. My lovely son whose current height makes him about eye level with my stomach gave me a hug the other night and made a comment about my "shaggy belly." Damn kids! It's the hard truth, though, and I know that this kind of thing is only going to get worse as I get older. Somehow, I've got to learn to except and love myself, flaws and all. Right now, I'm too busy to think about it. I'll think about that tomorrow.

Stay Useless by Cloud Nothings on Grooveshark

CONVERSATION

28 comments:

  1. Try to focus on the parts of your figure which you like and not on those which you don't. We all have flaws. You have terrific legs. Sometimes I don't think you pick clothes that best flatter your figure. I would definitely return this dress. I don't think it is doing anything for your figure. It also looks really cheap. (Sorry, not trying to be mean....just honest.) Your post "Sinking" showed off your great legs, but I didn't think the top was the best on you. Perhaps the top was too long?? I like a top on you that is a little more fitted... at least fitted through most of your rib cage. Some tops that worked well on your figure: Anthro Poppy Peasant Blouse, Puckered Placket Pullover, and Puckered Placket Turtleneck to name a few.

    I hate growing old and I'm much older than you are. However, I try to remind myself that everyone goes through this. Everyone will grow older, or the alternative is that you die. So I guess try to embrace it. I know it's not fun but try to make the best of it. You're not alone in your feelings!

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  2. I love this dress! And the boots!! Beautiful color for you :)
    Wear what you love, you're the one wearing the clothes...Who wants to be a cookie cutter Mom ;)

    Hope you have a wonderful evening :0) ♥

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  3. I would agree that focusing on clothing that show off your great features is important!!! =+)

    I would also agree that you should return the dress; the color, shape and cut of it really doesn't do anything for you; especially for the $100 price tag

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  4. This dress makes you look lumpy and the color is terrible. Free people is for girls in their teens and 20's and all of the stuff on your "wish list" only show that you are unrealistic and delusional about what a WOMAN should wear. Grow up narcissist and dress your age. I am a mom and I don't always look 'tailored' but at least I know how to dress for my body type and age.

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  5. I don't think it has anything to do with age. This dress would look bad on anyone. Free People isn't only for women in their 20's. You just have to pick what is right for you. Do you have a girlfriend that can shop with you?

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  6. I went back and looked over your wish list. Some of these clothes could be worn by a woman your age and older. I hate it when people get so snarky with their comments.

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  7. I really don't get the appeal of Free People. The clothes seem, almost uniformly, to be poorly made, poorly cut, and of shoddy material. Every time I see something I think is cute (I clicked on a few of the links you posted recently), I check on the reviews and they're all 2 stars, 3 stars, with people complaining about poor materials and poor fit. And they are ABSURDLY over-priced. As far as I can tell, it's the same quality as Urban Outfitters but for 2 and 3 times the $$. So I would return that dress, not because it looks bad on you, but because I think you'll probably find something that will last longer and fit better elsewhere.

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  8. Return. This sad dress does not do you justice. And frankly it sounds like you don't like it either.

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  9. Thanks for you input and suggestions. I'll keep them in mind as I get dressed. I agree with you on the dress. However, I thought the sweater from the "Sinking" post looked great. I needed something long and flowy to balance out the tight jeggings and hide all my lumps and bumps. I actually got a lot of compliments on that sweater in person. Maybe it just didn't photograph well. I think I go for the looser tops because I've always tried to downplay my big boobs. I'll start trying to incorporate more fitted tops in the future.

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  10. Yeah, I agree with you Katie. I'm not usually a fan, but I really loved some of the new releases online. I have to say most of the items from my wish list did not look as good in person because of the fabric and quality issues. This was the only one I felt came close to my expectations. Maybe I just felt like I needed to get something from my wish list since everything else was such a disappointment and ended up buying something I normally wouldn't have. Back it goes.

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  11. LOL! Tell me how you really feel.


    What should a WOMAN wear exactly? I would really love it if you could provide some pictures to enlighten me.


    Oh, and don't be hatin' on the lumps!

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  12. Well, looks like you're the only one! I would expect nothing less from someone named Wildflower. A fellow hippie I presume... :-)

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  13. Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie---where'd you go? What happened to the "wear what you love" Bonnie? Don't be drinking that cookie cutter Kool-aid, okay? I don't think this dress is as terrible as you think. Probably you should have not cinched the waist so much. I'd like to see it not cinched. Maybe that would be better? I like how you have styled it. The hair, the boots and the necklaces are a good combination of edgy yet romantic. I actually kind of like it.

    And I love Free People too! I just bought an adorable little Free People dress from Nordstrom (that is more of a layering tunic). It is one of my favorite go-to items in my closet. It is boho, flowy and very "me." I'll tell you what you've always told us, wear what you love and just by you. Odds are, the cinched up moms in the waiting room are eyeing your hippy dress and wanting one for themselves!

    (And sidenote: how in the heck do you return something you have already worn??)

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  14. Hmmmm.....Truthfully, I really don't think it's you, I think it's the dress. You sparked my interest in Free People so I went and checked out some of their clothes on the website. I'm not sure who the clothes would flatter. The models are all crazy-skinny and everything looks like over-sized sheer sacks with side boobs. Speaking of getting old, just listen to me! :) I saw one dress that looked nice, but it seemed waaaay overpriced for what it was-a turquoise maxi-dress with a croche'ed (sp?) bodice. If the skinny little girls can't wear them and look nice, what choice do us luscious curvy women have? I really like the vibe of the outfit, though-love your hair. And you go ahead and rock the boho and leave the pearls and khakis and twinsets to the Stepford Wives. No offense intended-I've got a strand of pearls somewhere..... You are way more beautiful than the dress gives you credit for; however, who the hell cares what I think? I totally understand the need to cover up lumps and bumps and "shaggy bellies" with tights, big sweaters, maxi-dresses, and sweater coats. I rarely wear my jeans anymore because they're too tight and I don't want to buy new ones. Dammit, guess I really need to start that diet...

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  15. Wow! I CANNOT believe you're a mom. I can't imagine what you're teaching your child(ren). Why do you have to be so cruel? so evil in your comments? Are you a miserable soul that needs to take it out on people you don't even know? I personally don't care for Free People but my older sister who will be turning 50 this year could easily rock Free People. She looks like a model and is incredibly hip, so don't make such ridiculous generalizations.

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  16. I totally agree Katie that Free People looks really cheap! Honestly you could go to downtown L.A.'s garment district and find all these clothes for $10-$20. I kid you not! It's insane how much Free People charges for absolute junk clothing.

    Bonnie, I still think you can rock your bohemian style but honestly I would look for different brands. Not Free People. My friend just purchased some flowy tops that were beautiful. I'll ask her where she got them.

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  17. Maybe it was just the photos that didn't do your top justice in the "Sinking" post. Perhaps I just didn't like the 2 pieces that hung off on both sides. If your top is too flowy after your chest, it can make you look bigger than you actually are. I don't think you need to have a fitted top all the way down. I bet empire waist looks good on you....like the dress in the post from May "Sky Trails". Also really like the dress from June "Free Your Mind", and the dress from December "Winter Bouquet". So go for more tops that are like the top portion of these dresses.

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  18. Sorry, one last comment. I never would've said anything about your dress but I did because you brought it up in your post. But the first thing I thought when I saw the dress, I thought "what the heck is Bonnie wearing? well, at least her hair and makeup look great!"

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  19. Completely agree!

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  20. even more disgusting - you wore it and now you're going to return it?! People like you are the reason the rest of us have trouble at places like Anthropologie. If you wore it, it's yours. Why should other people have to pay full price for something you have sweat in and stretched out. Just when I think you can't get any worse. I'm sending this post to free people in the hope that you get banned from making returns...hopefully at any of their sister stores as well.

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  21. No worries. I hoped to get some feedback on the dress. Glad you liked the hair and makeup! :-)

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  22. Woah, hello crazy town! Let me see if I can explain this.


    I spend an obscene (some would say crazy) amount of money at Anthropologie. I only have 1 store in my area that I visit at least once a month. The SA's know my name or at the very least my face. If I was abusing return policies, believe me, they would know it. One of the advantages of spending a lot of money on items at "places like Anthropologie" is that they want the customer to be completely satisfied with their purchase. On the rare occasions when I've worn something and decided I didn't like it for whatever reason (fit, material, defect, etc.), I've brought the item back to Anthro, was straight up with them that I'd worn it once and wasn't satisfied, and every time they have given me at the very least a store credit. I thought I would do the same thing with this dress since:
    A. I paid $100 for it and am not satisfied,
    B. Free People is owned by the same company as Anthro, and
    C. What the hell have I got to lose?


    I've found that, most of the time, If you are straight up with people (or companies), they will be understanding and reasonable. I have a feeling you are one of the exceptions.

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  23. Thanks for bringing me back down to reality, Catherine. At this point, I want to keep the damn thing just to spite people. I'm going to try it on not cinched as much, or maybe with a belt.


    *See response to crazy town anon for an answer to your sidenote.

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  24. LOL! I love this comment. Especially this part: "I totally understand the need to cover up lumps and bumps and "shaggy bellies" with tights, big sweaters, maxi-dresses, and sweater coats." Amen, sister!

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  25. ok call me crazy but i actually like this look on you and thought how do i heck miss this dress on Anthro site. To me (because of the color) screams hip army rock chick, new definition in fashion, thanks to you. I also believe women should wear what pleases them not other people, sure we should dress for our body types but hello did anyone seen Advanced Style blog?! Fun and inspirational!

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  26. They likely will let you return it, but in my opinion you are abusing their policy even if you aren't exactly violating it. You could have figured out if you liked the fit or the material before you wore it all day. Unless there was a defect (stretched out crazy, broke within first normal wear, etc.) you essentially cost the store you say you love a lot of money because of your indecisiveness. Maybe you don't do it often, but even a couple times is really not fair to those that are affected by the repercussions of a company having to accommodate people that ask for such a return. You took it out for a spin at no cost to yourself.

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  27. I don't think this dress is the most flattering look for you,but I do really love how you styled it.
    Aw,I know how you feel about not feeling like you look good in anything anymore...I gained a little weight due to cold weather and not being able to walk like I used to,and that weight will come off this spring as I get out and exercise,but in the meantime I can figure out almost nothing to wear,and can't really spend money on clothes either right now,which makes it more frustrating.
    I think you have a lovely figure,though,and I'm jealous of your slim arms!You also have super duper pretty skin.
    I second what Katie said,too.

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