Dress: Anthropologie Under and Over Dress - Size M
Jewelry: The Limited
Shoes: Steve Madden Seeri Sandals
"Early, sun-warmed pine and all those life-like sins that will pull out the memories to show I'm not leavin' alone." - The Tallest Man on Earth
I took my little girl to a birthday party for one of her friends yesterday. These events are always awkward for me because I am by no means a social butterfly. Sitting around making small talk with other moms is akin to torture for me. I just never know what to say and usually end up saying something really stupid because of nerves. Anyway, during the cake eating portion of the party, I ended up sitting at this table with an older lady. She struck up a conversation with me, and I found her very easy to talk to, mainly because she did most of the talking. She is 86 and the sole survivor of 11 siblings. Her husband died a few years ago followed closely by her daughter, who died of cancer at age 37. She lived in Kentucky for awhile where she enjoyed attending the horse races. Now, she lives in a Wilmington, NC golf course community with her daughter's cat. The last thing she told me as she looked at me longingly with a smile on her face was "You know, I used to have red hair."
I couldn't help but see myself in this woman. One day, if I'm lucky, my hair will turn grey, and with it will come many changes in my life and the loss of many people in it. I could very well end up like this lady, alone with only my memories to keep me company. I suppose this should be a frightening thought, but, in some strange way, it gives me comfort.
Jerry and I spent the night going through my old photo albums that my mom meticulously put together throughout my school years. Each picture or document stirred a memory inside of me that I shared with him. It's so easy to only remember the bad times, especially from our school days, but I found myself filled with comfort and joy as I read the kind words some of my classmates had written to me. I felt proud as I looked through all the certificates I had received from my time in the piano guild. Finally, at the end of the last album, I came to my Valedictorian speech. It ended with the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. I used that poem because the main theme of my speech was to follow your heart even if it wasn't the most popular path. It was good to know that so far in life I had followed my own advice. I was also struck by this line in the poem, "Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back."
As much as we may want to, we can never go back in life. We have little control over the outcomes of the decisions we make. Very often, we have to take leaps of faith and go down roads less traveled. Sometimes these roads lead to better places and sometimes to dead ends. The only thing we do have control over is what we make of our time while traveling these roads. In the end, we are left with the memories we've made on the paths we have chosen. Memories are the only things that truly last, and they serve as our constant companions on this road of life. It's very comforting to know that as long as we have them we are never truly alone.