Free Your Mind (And Your Thong)

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Shoes: Kensie Girl
Earrings: Tree and Kimble

"And I say to her, why'd I say it to her? What does she think of me? That I'm not what I ought to be. That I'm what I try not to be has got to be somebody else's fault." - Fiona Apple

I'm not a big fan of people. I think they're overrated. I would be perfectly content to live in a cabin in the woods all by myself without all these pesky people around ruining my life. Oh yeah...I'm in a dark place today. Queue the pearl clutchers and stone throwers.

I know, I know. I'm suppose to be kind to my fellow man, kumbaya, and all that jazz. However, my fellow man makes it really, really hard some days, and, just my luck, it's Friday. In my experience, Friday is the absolute worst day to be mad at the world. Everyone is walking around work with their shorts and flip flops on all smiley and happy cause "it's Friday!" Just the sound of their flip flops flopping makes me want to bust a cap in their asses (joking). If that wasn't enough, they're talking about their weekend plans with their loud, obnoxious voices and stupid, grating laughs.  

Clearly, I've got a lot of rage today. The thing is I don't want to feel this way. I want to like people and be nice to them, but it's just so damn hard! I absolutely hate drama which is ironic because it seems like every post I do, no matter how innocent, induces some sort of drama. I can't tell you how frustrating this is for me. Of course, people say it's my fault. Maybe they're right. Maybe it is. Maybe I should just delete all negative comments and pretend they never existed. Maybe I should just say, "Thank you for pointing out the error of my ways" and move along. Maybe I should do a lot of things differently, but the simple fact of the matter is I have a hard time not defending myself.

Despite this, I tried yesterday to be accomodating to a reader, to listen to her complaint and try to make it right. Apparently, my thong was blatantly on display for all to see in Wednesday's post. I guess there was a hint of a panty line in the "back fat" picture. Geez, you would think the back fat would distract from anything else, but the crotch watchers have evolved. That's right people, not only do I have to zoom in on my crotch and look for any hint of camel toe, but now I have to zoom in on my ass crack as well. Even though I could barely make out what she was talking about, I thanked the commenter for pointing it out and swaped the picture for a different one. And what did I get for my efforts? A smart ass comment with a dog pile of "likes."

I'm so bitter at the human race right now, and it's so easy to blame everyone else for my bad attitude. However, I've realized something while typing out this crazy rant. I have no one to blame but myself. My reaction to other people is my choice. I can't control how other people behave, but I can sure as hell control myself. I'm my own worst enemy. I need to make peace with the fact that there are people in this world who are not very kind, who get their kicks by lifting themselves up at the expense of others (and staring at others asses). I need to realize that I don't have to allow their mean words and ill will to poison my mind. I love this quote by August Strindberg: “There are poisons that blind you, and poisons that open your eyes." I don't want to be blinded by anger. I want to open my eyes and see all the beauty there is in the world (including harmless little hints of thong). If I can do this in the face of all the criticism, there will be no need to defend myself because I will finally be free.  

Fiona Apple - Every Single Night



  1. C'mon Bonnie! "I absolutely hate drama"... really? You clearly love/need attention and the same goes for drama. If comments get a little slow you post a gem like this fishing for attention. Or something like the below comment on FB.
    "Given the pitiful number of comments on my last post, I fear I have been forgotten. Maybe some Anthropologie Fitting Room Reviews will liven things up a bit. C'mon, you know you want to tell me how hideous I look."

    At least be honest with yourself. You're so self-focused (or is that self-involved?) I'd think you'd be able to recognize this.

  2. Do you have any friends? You never talk about them. I'm curious as sometimes, as friends, we just have to listen to them going on about their lives, plans, goals, and yes, even their excitement for something as trivial as Friday. It strikes me as odd that you have such a negative reaction.

  3. If this was your outfit today, you at least looked very pretty despite being full of rage! I Love the ring you are wearing on your middle finger- where is it from?

  4. Mwahaha! That title is awesome...but seriously, who looks for other people's underwear? Sigh. Humans do really make it hard to be nice.

    I love that dress! It's perfect for summer. And it totally reminds me of The Girl of the Limberlost. Which is a win, fo' sho'.

  5. Well let me just say this: I don't care all the nattering nabobs of negativity have been saying...this post and the prior one were home runs with me! You knocked it out of the park. Sexy as hell to boot. People on the Internet just love to bring you down. F**k 'em. You look great!!

  6. I was listening to Fiona Apple "To Your Love" when I read this... true story :) In my humble opinion you should just pity the people with enough time on their hands to study your crotch, underwear, or anything else for that matter... I'd keep my nose clear if I were you... they'll be on the look out for boogers next ;) Let it roll off your back. NOT WORTH IT!

  7. That's a beautiful outfit. You sound to me like you're searching very hard for something. I don't know you or what your life is like in person, but I suspect that you already have what you're looking for. I think that your last paragraph stating the need to look within puts you on the right track.

  8. If someone told me my underwear was showing in a pic I posted on the internet, I would say "oopsie" and thank that person for saving me from embarrassment. No need to launch an attack over it and call the person meanie.

  9. Bonnie,

    You look great. :D Legs for days in this dress!

    Dear Anon,

    Do you have a life? Do you get your kicks by insulting? I think you are a coward, lonely and obviously bored to death with what you have of a life. I mean really.. you don't even have the courage to post your picture or name. Grow up. If you don't like Bonnie or her style MOVE on.

  10. Oh - hahah - my best friend and I say that all the time. Sometimes, we just sum it up with a simple, "PEOPLE." I hate them too. There's so many good movie lines about it that I know we're not alone - like Ricky Gervais in Ghost Town, when a woman asks him, "Oh, you hate crowds?" And he replies, "no, no, not crowdsso much. It's more, the individuals IN the crowds that I can't stand..." or something like that. BRILLIANT. :o) And a sublime example of irony is that the post that conjured up someone staring at your thong was "Flaws". Uh, weren't you admitting and embracing the fact that you aren't perfect? PEOPLE. I hate 'em. :o)

  11. Your underpants *were* visible in the pic. Having that pointed out is a minor embarrassment that I would laugh off. You've said many times that you lack self-esteem, and you seem to be a perfectionist in many ways. That's ok. That's who you are. I think it's just important to have self-awareness about things and enable yourself to recognize when you might be over-reacting to an event, comment, or minor embarrassment. Don't sweat the small stuff, girl. You have enough big stuff to deal with, let's face it.

  12. Everyone wears underwear! I can't see any pics where they are showing, but for people to make a big deal out of that is ridiculous. They just want to get you going. Chin up, girl! You always look great!

  13. FFS, you're just pissed that you didn't notice you took a pic of her undies and allowed her to post them on the internet.

  14. Hey Bonnie. Guess what? You don't have to like everyone all the time. You get the option to hate and rage and say mean things......and still be a nice person, still be a good person. Anyone who says otherwise and would even think of criticizing you for it is a hypocrite because we all do it at some point to some degree with a fair amount of regularity. Anyone who denies that, is quite frankly a self deluding liar. And you want to know something else? Your rants and rages are totally allowed to be contradictory to your 'reality'. I rant and hiss and piss about people and their behavior sometimes, and then stop and think "WTF, Lisa, you're totally not being rational". That's okay though, you don't have to be right or follow a pattern or make any sense when you're blowing off a good head of rage-hate-steam. Contrary to all the self-righteous internet perfect commenters (because gawd knows this is the only place besides in their minds that they are as perfect as they present themselves)....hate and anger are not 'pure poison to the mind and soul', they don't make you hopelessly bitter and ugly. They make you normal, and well rounded, they balance out all the sugary sweet turn the other cheek turn that frown upside down crap that the perfects would have you believe you should always practice.
    Fuck em, and next time go commando, with one good 'sheer' shot.

  15. I really like today's outfit; glad you bought the dress (I remember the fitting room review). I once read someone's take on VPL along the lines of "do I want people to think I'm not wearing underwear" and thought it was pretty funny because I figure no VPL could be bad sometimes. Honestly, I think you look wonderful in general, panty lines or no panty lines - I have to admit I didn't see the picture. Sometimes underwear shows unexpectedly through clothing. It's helpful when people can point it out nicely so you can try to recover gracefully. Sounds like you did by exchanging the picture, but I'm sorry you were upset by the response.

  16. It is so easy these days for folks to be mean and bully people over the Internet. Let's people type things they would never say to people's faces and HIDE behind their computer, iPad, etc. however, you are correct in the YOu chose how to respond. If you start catering to those bullies, then you are empowering THEM and not yourself.

    I don't understand why folks don't move along and keep their venom to themselves. Afterall, if your blog was so offensive, why did they take the time to stop, gawk and comment, as rubber necks seem to do.

    I enjoy reading your blog when I have time, Bonnie, and appreciate how fearlessly you have exposed yourself, warts and all. Don't let the devil steal your joy!!!

  17. I'm pretty sure in the second photo that you're wearing undies. For this reason I feel you're a dirty girl.

  18. oh how do I love this dress. planning to buy it too. Love your location, Bonnie.

  19. Actually I think the last couple of posts have been your best looks in awhile. Screw the detractors. It's easy to sit in a basement and be mean.

  20. I have to admit I went back through your posts to find the offensive underwear. Does that make me a perv?


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