Novel

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Jeans: AE Jeggings - Size 8
Boots: Frye Paige Tall Riding Boots - Size 8.5
Necklace: Tree and Kimble

"I know, I know, I know, I know like it's scarred in, where my place is; where I'm going." - Blind Pilot

This is going to be a quickie. Jerry and I have a concert to attend tonight - Blind Pilot w/ Cotton Jones. I've seen Blind Pilot open for The Decemberists, and they were fantastic, so I'm excited about seeing them up close and personal in a small venue. It should be a great night!

I'm really irked today by people who insist on pushing their opinions on others. I get that not everyone is going to agree with me, but say your piece if you must and then move the fuck on. Believe or not, I have an opinion too, and I'm not just going to change mine just because you think yours is better. Besides, I happen to think very highly of my opinion. Living to please others is "no bueno." Been there, done that. Individuality - what a novel idea!

Blind Pilot - I Know

CONVERSATION

39 comments:

  1. Ah Bonnie, don't let 'em make you all salty! Go have fun at your concert!

    Love the little birdie top! Now I want one! :)-

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  2. I agree, having an open mind and respecting others is so important.

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  3. Heh, some folks just like to hear the sound of their own voice. Personally, I think that dress from your last post looks really good on you. It's COMFORTABLY form fitting, not clubbin' tight. Confidence looks good on you, Bonnie, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Well okay, let them tell you, but don't you dare believe it. ;)

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  4. Bonnie - this outfit looks awesome! The top is adorable! How could you not love a flirty little shirt covered with birds? It's on my wish list.

    You already know this, but you can't live to please others - it's impossible! What pleases one person displeases another. Do what's right for you. Be true to you. And keep on rocking those body conscious dresses cause you look HOT.

    Hope you guys had a great time at the concert. I love the Decemberists, but haven't heard of Blind Pilot before. Thanks for the tip :)

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  5. I've been reading your blog for a while now but I've had enough. You're 30-something going on 15, and that gets old. You're so sheltered and isolated that you actually believe your struggle against being a people-pleaser is something that you and only you have dealt with. It's called human nature, Bonnie, and we all have that tendency to some degree or another during different times in our life. But you are obsessed with it and constantly bring it up as if caring too much what people think of you somehow makes you unique. Anyway, in your effort to deal with this trait in yourself that you don't like, you have over-corrected and have turned in to a colossal bitch. I often cringe at your cocky demeanor and foul mouth because that's not at all who I thought you were. I know, Bonnie, you have to be who you really are and not who someone else thought you were or wants you to be because you've tried to please people your whole life and you're the only person in the whole wide world who has ever done that and blah blah blah blah blah. Bottom line is - if being a cocky bitch is the real you, then by all means, go for it. See ya.

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  6. You really can't handle any form of criticism, can you? Even when people leave constructive criticism. You have this tendency to focus on what you perceive as the "insult" in constructive criticism, take it personally, and then shut down. If you're happy with your style, that's wonderful! It's just odd how someone who is a style blogger isn't open to accepting that other people might not see the same thing when they look at their sartorial choices.

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  7. Seriously though, never seen a blogger so stuck on criticism. You write posts about how you're "above it", but the fact that every other post is about the "haters" indicates it's on your mind a lot. Does this blog make you feel good - what are you getting out of it if it puts you in this negative headspace?

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  8. My opinion: this top looks great on you especially with your fair skin and hair color! Such a cute outfit! Love it! :-)

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  9. ditto!

    thanks for pointing out to Blind Pilot!

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  10. I think the more appropriate question is what do you get out of coming on someone's personal blog trying to push your opinions on them? It's just weird. I've told you several times now that it's just your opinion that the dress doesn't fit me. Clearly, other people and I have a different opinion. I even used a quote from "the dude" to keep it light and fluffy. Yet you kept on and then threw an insult in disguised as constructive criticism. "You look like an overstuffed sausage, but I think you have a great body." I'm not losing sleep over it, but it got on my nerves. I just don't understand what you were trying to accomplish.

    Another thing, I'm so sick of people saying that every other post is about the haters. Its not true. This is something that's a fact and not an opinion. The proof is in the posts. Go back and read them. I write about many different things.

    Lastly, I have never said I'm above criticism. I write about my struggles with it because I was raised to be a people pleaser. I think this is something a lot of people can relate to which is my ultimate goal with this blog, and "what I get out of it."

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  11. I'm open to different opinions. If I wasn't, I would do like many of the other style blogs do and delete negative comments. I've taken some constructive criticism in the past and changed an outfit up the next time I wore it. However, when someone tells me something that I simply don't agree with I'm not going to agree with them just to make them happy. I wish I had a Anthro close by because I want to go there so bad just to try that Pieced Column Dress on in a large, so you can see that it's too big on me. I, honestly, don't know what you want from me. I think the only thing that would satisfy you is if I agreed with everything you said. Ironic, considering you're bitching at me for not being more open to criticism. Maybe you should take your own advice.

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  12. You're right, I gotta let it go. It was a rough day at work, and I just needed to bitch about something.

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  13. I def wish you the best. It just strikes an outside observer that you dwell on the criticism a lot. If you love the way you look in it, wear it.

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  14. I bring it up a lot for the exact opposite reasons you've stated here. I know this is something many people struggle with, so that's why I talk about it. I don't think I'm unique. If fact, I'm intrigued by people who don't care what others think. Jerry couldn't give a rat's ass what other people think about him. I admire that and strive to be more like him, but it's hard because I'm fighting against my nature.

    I don't understand this argument that if you are still learning things about yourself in your 30's, you are immature. I don't want to ever stop learning things about myself. We are all different and I don't think we should have to live life on a specific time table: make mistakes in your teens, discover yourself in your twenties, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. I know people hate when I say this, but it's true, "Life is messy." I'm sure by most people's standards I'm not going about this life thing the "right way", but I'm going through it my own way and that's what matters most to me.

    You calling me a cocky bitch reminds me of a quote I'm fond of: "When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch." - Bette Davis

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  15. Thanks! I love this little top!

    You should definitely check out blind pilot!

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  16. Hang in there! I think the dress from the prev. post looked fantastic, and this orange top as well! No matter what, others will find a reason to comment either positively or negatively. And because you have a blog, it's out there for everyone to seee! Everybody has an opinion - good or bad... Some you just can't stifle! The key is that you are happy with yourself! Have a great day!

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  17. GREATCOMMENTTERRIBLEBLOGFebruary 22, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    DAMN I wish I could like this comment a million times!!!!!!!

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  18. It's all in the delivery. People do tend to be extremely off-putting and defensive when responding to even the slightest criticism. IME the best way to respond to criticism is simply not to respond at all. You won't change an opinion with words, you'll only change it with actions.

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  19. You hit the nail right on the head. Exactly!

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  20. I bet if you had a poll on your blog about whether or not the last dress looked good on you, the vast majority of your readers would have said that it looked good on you. I completely disagree that the dress was too tight on you. I think it fit just right. (You'd just have to make sure that your poll would only allow the voter to have one vote because I could see that "gold_notebook" would waste her entire day voting against the outfit.)

    Anyhow, there's no way on earth you can please everyone. Obviously everyone has a different opinion about things. And I think when the majority of your readers think a dress or outfit doesn't work on you, you actually listen and try to make changes. I do find it interesting, however, that you receive so many negative comments, in general. I can think of another blogger in particular where I think alot of her outfits don't suit her figure but she never gets any negative comments.

    I also was raised by very critical parents and I'm a super sensitive person. It's a horrible combination because I tend to fixate on the 1 negative comment I may receive about something, instead of the 99 positive comments I receive. I'm trying hard to not let the 1 negative comment affect me so much, but it's hard given my upbringing and temperament. And in the same vain, I shouldn't rely on positive comments to make me feel good about myself.

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  21. Yikes, isn't all you do on this blog is give opinions?

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  22. Oh wait nvm, I guess you're saying you're owning up to that?

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  23. pants, jeans and form fitting dresses are definitely your friends!

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  24. AnthrowingupallovertheplaceFebruary 23, 2012 at 3:01 AM

    Shot in yet another sad, outside alley-way in between buildings and another brick wall. *sigh*

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  25. I think this is sound advice. My guess is that negative begets negative - because Bonnie spends so many posts talking about her "haters" and dwelling over the comments, instead of just letting it go, it leads to more haters. Radio silence or "I don't happen to agree" is the best commenting policy, IMO (which, obviously, you're free to disregard!)

    Anyway, I do think Bonnie looks great most of the time, but sometimes wears too-small stuff. It's her hot body, though. Do what you want!

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  26. You just keep baking them biscuits and humping those trees and industrial laundry appliances. That keeps things interesting.

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  27. . You need to learn to see constructive criticism for what it is and accept it. Occasionally you do put together a great outfit, but the majority of the clothes you wear are too small for you. You are not a size 6. Lately you have become very rude and condescending towards your readers. Those qualities, coupled with your foul mouth, are why I no longer read this blog on a daily basis.

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  28. I think the reason why people come in here and criticize you is because of what you're posting everyday. You contradict yourself every time by ending a post with "Hey guys I'm ok, screw all the haters, I'm not gonna dwell on their opinions", and YET in your next post the cycle starts all over again. You moan about how haters hate you, and then end on a cheerful note. I just wish it were sincere. If you really were OVER what everyone else thinks of you, why are you constantly dwelling on the same issue over and over again? If you go back and re-read your posts, you would see that they are repetitive. I almost feel like you're asking for criticism.

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  29. Beautiful necklace and TOP! Drooling!!!!!

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  30. I really like this outfit and the top is cute. I wish the top was better fitted/defined your waistline more because you do have a great figure. Maybe you could get it tailored so it came in more at your waist while still being loose and flowy? then it would be perfect.

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  31. hey lady- while I am not commenting on that specific dress, I did want to point out if you do find yourself between sizes or a dress doesn't fit exactly the way you want, size up and bring it to a tailor to take it in exactly where you need it so that it fits you perfect. rarely does something fit exactly perfect off the rack, and based on what the average cost is at anthropologie (and assuming you wouldn't buy an item if it wasn't worth the price), you certainly can afford to have it taylored.

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  32. very pretty blouse. your hair looks lovely here.

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