Rococo

Dress: Anthropologie Esmeralda Dress - Size 6

Shrug: The Limited - Size M

Boots: Frye Paige Tall Riding Boots - Size 8.5

"They seem wild, but they are so tame. They’re moving towards you with their colors all the same." - Arcade Fire

The response to my last post got me thinking about honesty and substance. I try to be as honest about my thoughts and feelings on this blog as I possibly can, and I appreciate that the commenters are equally honest with me, even if they do compare me to a busted can of biscuits. Funny story about that: My oldest son overheard me talking to Jerry about that comment. He looked at me strangely and said, "Mama, why would someone say that? I don't get it." I said, "Well, your 10 now, the big double digits and all, so I'll show you and let you decided for yourself." I pulled up my blog on my phone and showed him the pictures from my last post. I asked him what he thought and like any good son he said, "You look good to me, mama." Then, I told him that some people were telling mama her tummy was too fat to wear that dress. He looked at the pictures again, inspecting them closely this time, and said, "Well, your tummy is a little fat...like, maybe an inch of too much fat or something." Oh no, brutal honesty straight from the mouth of babes! Damn, even the kid thinks I shouldn't wear the dress! Jerry tried to make me feel better by telling me that 10 year olds think all adults are fat, but I wasn't buying it. Oh well, you've got to appreciate the honesty.

The location for this photo shoot was a big mansion in the bad part of town that has a wall around it with some funky colored pink grout. Jerry said it reminded him of the Rococo movement in art. The only thing I knew about Rococo was the song by Arcade Fire, so I decided to look it up. Apparently, it was an art movement in the 18th century that was very garish and ornate. It is widely criticized because for all it's detail and style it lacked true substance. Hmm...I smell a metaphor coming. 

I was a late comer to the social networking aspect of the Internet, signing up for a Facebook account in 2010. For the longest time, I just didn't get the appeal, but once I signed on and began stalking friend's walls, I got it. It was a whole new world in which a person could paint themselves in whatever light they wished, and, naturally, most people chose to paint themselves in a positive light. My news feed was full of pictures of smiling, happy faces and statuses proclaiming how wonderful life was, and I happily joined right in with the masses. I decided to start a blog and for the first few months kept the topics light and fluffy. I soon came to realize that what I was putting out there was just a veneer of my life. It lacked substance and meaning. I decided to try something different. In addition to fashion, I started writing about my life, the good and the bad. In turn, I posted most of the comments, the good and the bad.

I don't think anybody can knock me for not being honest, but the downside of being so open about my life is I'm perceived as a train wreck. I can certainly understand why. Sometimes, I feel like an outsider in a beautiful, ornate world. The picture I'm painting here may not be pretty, but I do my best to put my heart and true feelings into every post. I hope that substance counts for something.

“What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart. That is my ambition, based less on resentment than on love in spite of everything, based more on a feeling of serenity than on passion. Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum.”