Collecting Evidence

Picture 29

Picture 31

Picture 33

Picture 38

Picture 42
Dress: Anthropologie Unconditional Osier Dress
Cardigan: The Limited
Boots: Anthropologie Buckled Paddock Boots
Tights: Hue
Necklace: Anthropologie

"Yeah, we're locked up in ideas. We like to label everything. Well, I'm just gonna do here what I gotta do here 'cause I gotta keep myself free." - Foster the People

Well, I've weathered another storm of negative comments and lived to tell about it. I know what you're thinking: What the hell is wrong with this girl? Why doesn't she just delete those suckers and act like they never existed? I mean, that's what everyone else does. My answer: I don't believe in avoidance. I did it most of my life, and it got me nowhere. Sure, it was the safe thing to do, but at what cost? I wasn't being true to myself or others. If someone said something negative, I just shrugged it off, acted like I didn't care, and then did my best to avoid that person or avoid doing something that could attract more negative attention. I got tired of keeping up the facade. I decided to just be myself. Now, if people don't like me, well yeah, it hurts like hell, but I eventually get over it and learn something from it. The world can break you, but you become stronger at the broken places. This is the reason why I let the negative comments through and talk about how they make me feel in my posts. Contrary to popular opinion, I don't do it for attention. Just as people have the right to criticize me, I have the right to address the issue, describe my feelings, and defend myself if need be. Just because I don't cower down and crawl into a hole doesn't mean I'm an attention whore. It always kills me when people call me narcissistic. In my opinion, it's way more narcissistic to tell someone how you think they should act and what you think they should wear.

Due to the negative critiques on my NYE outfit and my style in general, I find myself looking at my pictures now and trying to figure out what negative things people are going to say about my outfit. In a weird way, it's kind of fun. It's like I'm fashion policing myself, and it's always fun to criticize! It's makes us feel better about ourselves, but wait...this is myself I'm criticizing...oh, I'm so confused! First off, these particular pictures are less than stellar. It was 30 degrees this day with a strong, blustery wind. Jerry and I literally ran over to the building next to our office, shot these pictures in 5 minutes, and ran back inside. Poor Jerry, most of the pictures came out crooked because I'm sure he was having a hard time holding the camera in his freezing hands. So, I've got all that going for me right from the start. The next thing I noticed was that this dress is pretty short-waisted, much like the Dulce Dress, but don't pull out those fashion sirens yet! I think in this instance it's not as bad because the whole dress is the same material (i.e. the waist line doesn't stand out as much). I also noticed that the waist kind of poofs out a little bit, making it look like I might have a little bit of a tummy (no, I'm not pregnant). Next, I might be suffering from stumpy leg syndrome because I'm wearing booties that cut off the lines of my legs. Honestly, to me, it just looks like I'm rocking some cool ass booties. Lastly, I guess it could be said that my cardigan adds unnecessary bulk. Believe me, in 30 degree weather, this cardigan was NECESSARY bulk.

My conclusion: I give this outfit an A.

Supporting evidence: You can analyze something to death. You can find all the possible flaws and point them out, but what is the point really? After all that critiquing, I still like this outfit. I feel hip and cool in it. I feel like me. 

“The worst sort of critics are (analogy coming) butterfly collectors - they chase something, ostensibly out of their search for beauty, then, once they get close, they catch that beautiful something, they kill it, they stick a pin through its abdomen, dissect it and label it. The whole process, I find, is not a happy or healthy one. Someone with his or her own shit figured out, without any emotional problems or bitterness or envy, instead of killing that which he loves, will simply let the damn butterfly fly, and instead of capturing and killing it and sticking it in a box, will simply point to it - "Hey everyone, look at that beautiful thing" - hoping everyone else will see the beautiful thing he has seen." ― Dave Eggers 

Foster The People - Call It What You Want

CONVERSATION

56 comments:

  1. I think you look great here! Chin up, who effing cares what everybody thinks. You have way more confidence than I do, to put pictures of yourself on the Internet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think you are beautiful and you dress very well :D My hubby checks out your blog also..he enjoys the fact that you make a conscious effort to put your best foot forward (and he just peeked over my shoulder to check this one out.. and said he appreciated that you always look modest and "ladylike"). I think you should be very proud of yourself, even if someone doesn't care for your outfit..it doesn't mean you don't look great in it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like this outfit too! Love that you broke out a highlighter in this post. ;)- See, these pictures are very flattering. I think those boots work really well with dresses. Seems like you've worn them with dresses before and they looked great. Gives the outfit an edgy look.

    And you don't look pregnant at all- never did in those other dresses either. Now, I would not recommend wearing that Across the Prairie tunic from Ruche with a bulky down puffer coat though...

    Hey, what do you wear makeup wise?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm glad to see red tights. I just got few colored tights the other day and they are still foreign to me!
    I think this is a fun outfit :] I hope you don't ever let mean comments change your style cause you have one, I like it and it fits well with your the personality that shows on your blog (since I don't know you :])
    have a nice evening.

    Nadja

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree, A for this outfit.
    And your explanation for posting critical comments was very eloquently explained! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with staying away from avoidance. Some people just need to say negative things to others to make up for their own insecurities. Their problem...

    By the way... LOVING the tomato red tights... they look amazing with your skin tone/ hair color!

    Lauren
    mildmediumhot.net

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love this outfit :) Stacy and Clinton would be proud of how you picked up the same red in the necklace as in the tights. Also, this dress is great. Def stick with the deeper colors.

    ReplyDelete
  8. STOP TALKING ABOUT STACY AND CLINTON! WHO CARES WTF THEY THINK??? EVERY FREAKING COMMENT IS WHAT NOT TO WEAR < STACY THIS< CLINTON THAT- THEY ARE NOT THE END ALL BE ALL FOR FASHION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Love the "necessary bulk" of the cardigan!! That's a classic comment! Love it!! It's over 100 degrees here most days at the moment, so I'd love the chance to flaunt some coloured legs and a cardi!! In the meantime, can you please do some outfit posts for me with ideas of things I could wear to an upcoming summer wedding? I've no idea what to wear, as I'm more than a decade older than the bride and her friends (who wear mini skirts and maxi heels - so not my style!!)

    Now, for some criticism... really now, you've been with Jerry long enough! It's time you WERE pregnant again! Hurry up already would you? We're all waiting for the announcement! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes they are. They are miracle workers and their rules should be written in stone. I pity the frump that disregards the queen and queen of fashion!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't want to encourage a move toward making every new post an opportunity to critique Bonnie's wardrobe. However- you kind of of asked for it this time with your own funny comments. So here is my 2 cents.
    I think this look defines the perfect way to wear a higher-waisted or baby-doll dress. The cardigan elongated the silhouette, making the look more mature. The boots add a degree of hip. Together, the whole thing is flattering and cool. I would have hated this with bare arms, nude legs or light tights and ballet slippers.
    Worn the way Bonnie styled this dress, it would look great on a 20 year old and a 50 year old! Classic cool.

    ReplyDelete
  12. We have a new moderator on Bonnie's board. I am looking forward to a post of comment rules so that I don't inadvertently offend her with one of my inappropriate postings. This blog was getting out of control with all of these random postings of readers' opinions and comments. The arrival of the Thought Police is not a moment too soon!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was one of the ones who didn't like the NYE outfit, but this one happens to work. The colors are great together, and I like the orange tights with the grey/brown. The boots look good,too.

    ReplyDelete
  14. you look pregnant in pretty much everything you wear, sorry

    ReplyDelete
  15. Please read that quote you posted, repeatedly.
    Really read it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have never understood leaving negative comments. If a blogger asks a specific question asking for specific feedback, then yes ... An honest answer is fine. But people who take it upon themselves to criticize in comments are just mean IMHO. Your photos are lovely and your outfits are, too. Sorry the haters feel the need to comment at all.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow! Over 100 degrees? Where in the world are you, Anna?

    Sure, I'd be glad to do a post on summer wedding outfits for you! Sometime next week sound good to you?

    Ah, pregnancy, that's a scary topic. I think for now I'll just settle for looking like I'm pregnant. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. So your asking me to analyze the quote about not analyzing?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow, what do you think of people who are really overweight? I'd be interested in seeing a picture of you. I bet your just as lovely on the outside as you are on the inside.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Well, I'm glad you approve this time! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow, you should write reviews for a living! Feels good to get a positive critique from the likes of you! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. LOL! Thanks, WNTW addict...oops! I mean, Katie! Now, step away from the television. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thanks, Lauren! I checked out your blog. Cute!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Well, thank you very much, Melanie!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Good luck with the colored tights! Thanks for the kind words!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well, the highlighter was an accident, but since you said you love it, so it's staying!

    Girl, I'm going to go out this weekend with my Across the Prairie and my big 'ole bulky coat. Looking pregnant is the new thing don't 'cha know?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thanks, Beth! I think you're pretty awesome too!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thanks, Kate! I'm working on the not caring.

    ReplyDelete
  29. You seriously do not look pregnant. They are just trying to be nasty. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You have a really great sense of humor! Your comments always make me laugh! Just wondering what kind of foundation you use. Your skin always looks good. I tend to have dry skin, though it could be the cold midwest thing I've got going on here! I've been using a tinted moisturizer. Seems to help. Foundation just tends to make me look dry and cakey.

    ReplyDelete
  31. P.S. I just bought the Swing Away dress in ivory from Anthro today. It is mildly tent-like but I so love its romantic feel. It looks adorable with skinny jeans. Hope nobody asks me if it is a maternity dress. ;)-

    ReplyDelete
  32. The quote isn't saying don't analyze things. It's talking about butterfly collection as a metaphor for the critiquing of art. It assumes that the thing--a butterly, or a book--is already beautiful, but that the critic wants to take ownership of that beauty by dissecting it and killing it. It's not about criticizing the daily outfits of a fashion blogger. So, it doesn't really seem to pertain to you, unless you see yourself as a butterfly or a work of art.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Whether that commenter is fat or ugly or not does not make your outfit any better. And that's a really immature response.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Geez, is there going to be a test tomorrow, professor?

    I just thought it was a really beautiful quote that reminded me of how critizing something or, in this case, someone is essentially taking that something or
    someone apart and dissecting it/them for your own purposes. In other words, someone with there own shit figured out would just let me enjoy my fucking New Year's Eve dress that made me look fat and not feel the need to tear me down. Oh, and as a matter of fact, I do see myself as a work of art. I see every life as a work of art.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Well, I'm glad someone gets my sense of humor. My foundation is Clinique Perfectly Real Makeup. The color is Shade 01.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well, I thought I would speak in a language that "peeonastick" would understand. I'm sorry that my response to someone calling me fat was not mature enough for you. And, for the record, I do think it matters what someone looks like if they are going to critique someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Have you even read Dave Eggers? You're totally misinterpreting the quote. It's saying that the worse kind of critics chase after that which is beautiful, superlative, and then put it away so no one else can enjoy it, collecting it just for their own gains.

    If you just wanted to enjoy your new year's dress, you didn't have to publish any of the critiques. You chose to let that out there and let it enter the public space.

    There=location, "It's located over there, next to the fountain."
    their=possessive pronoun, "Their clothing is simply the best!"
    you're=contraction of you are, "You're annoying with your need to correct me."
    your=possessive pronoun, "Your hair needs some work."

    ReplyDelete
  38. OK, a few things given this post and your past few ones

    1. It is great that you are acknowledging your strength through all of this. Go you! HOWEVER, you seem to do this a lot-- you get negative comments about something, you talk it through, and you say you've learned from it. Yet...it keeps happening. Try to take everything that you learn from this and use it as strength in the future. Next time, don't let the comments get you down!

    2. CONFIDENCE!!! Keep your head up. Fake it til you make it. That sounds like a total platitude, but it really does work. If *you* believe that you're awesome, you will radiate confidence...and although I don't agree with some of your past choices, I still firmly believe that you deserve to feel happy and to feel good about yourself!!

    3. This outfit is amazing. Not only does it look fabulous, but you KNOW it looks fabulous-- I can see it in your face and in your posing. Love it!

    My one criticism overall is that your wardrobe seems to lack pieces that are versatile...your pieces are very cute, but I might suggest investing in some classic pieces...a nice crisp blazer, white button down, etc. This is, of course, just my opinion, but I think that would really pull your wardrobe together nicely! Your Frye boots are a good example of a versatile piece-- they go with most everything!

    Anyway, chin up! This is YOUR life, not the life of some faceless internet critics!

    ReplyDelete
  39. OK, one more thing....don't respond like this! It just adds fuel to the fire, and, to be honest, it really does sound immature. Ignore, ignore, ignore!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Nope, no test. I was just trying to share with you some information that you didn't seem to have. But clearly, you're more interested in arguing than understanding. I'm going to step away, because there's no point in trying to communicate with a brick wall.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Good for you Bonnie! I love this dress with tights and the boots also, this is a really great look for you. I've seen some other bloggers with this dress and liked it, but you have it styled to perfection!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oh well Bonnie - at least you are glowing!! (And perhaps those who are so critical are just jealous of the REAL reason for your glow! LOL)

    Next week for wedding outfits sounds great! I'm in the great land down under, enjoying our lovely hot summer months! Useless for layering though!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Yes, I know, you were just trying to be helpful. That's always the case with people who are insulting me. Anyway, you didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Actually, you don't have it exactly right. Old Dave here was referring to literary critics not works of art. So, thanks for the misinformation, professor!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Oh, for fuck's sake. I understand what the quote is saying. I'm not applying it to my situation literally word for word. As I explained to the other smarty pants, I'm loosely applying the quote here to my own situation. I think I explained in the post why I chose to approve the critiques. I'm sorry that you have terrible reading comprehension skills. It must be because you're spending all that effort finding grammatical errors. Thanks for the English lesson!

    You're a pompous asshole who thinks their opinion matters to me. Your elementary grammar skills don't impress me. The red X is up there. Buh bye! (See I learn fast!)

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm a totally different person than above, but, uhhh come on....literary critics are critics of art. Art does not inherently mean paintings or sculptures. You don't have to say Reader X is wrong to somehow "win" in this exchange.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Fair enough! (I still win, though.)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Thanks, I'm really enjoying your's as well!

    ReplyDelete
  48. You are really snotty and rude to your commenters.

    ReplyDelete
  49. The Swing Away Dress is so cute! Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  50. wow, why do people have to be so nasty? i think you look great; not preggers in the least.

    anyways, LOVE those tights! is that a burnt orange color? i would love to get me a pair. where can i find these to purchase? i looked on hue's site, but couldn't seem to find them.

    ReplyDelete
  51. My god, you are the most self-centered whiner on the internet. And that's saying a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  52. My original point was only that you are sticking the damned pin into yourownself. Point our your pretty outfits. Let people react to them. If you "have your shit together" you will have the serenity to LET IT BE. You cannot control how others react. By continuing to respond to your critics this way, you just come off as insecure. There's no reason for you to have an argument with every single commenter who says you look fat. You're not fat. You're just making yourself an easy target, and you shouldn't.

    ReplyDelete

Back
to top