Signs of Life

"Oh the trees were all leafless and lifeless and black, and I wondered if the leaves could grow back. You don't know how it feels to be alive, until you know how it feels to die." - Noah and the Whale

It's Monday, my least favorite day of the week. It was so hard to get going this morning, but I'm actually in really good spirits. It was a good weekend overall. Friday night, Jerry and I hung out in bed eating pizza, drinking alcohol, and talking about random things into the wee hours of the morning. Saturday, I threw a party for my son's 10th birthday. Afterwards, we drove to Anthropologie so I could try on some party dresses to review on the blog. We had fun looking around the store at all the Christmas ornaments that were ridiculously overpriced. Most of them were made out of newspaper. Jerry and I were inspired to try and make our own newspaper ornaments. I'll let you guys know how it goes... Yesterday was pretty abysmal. I had an IC flare up and spent the whole day in bed due to the pain. I must admit, being in pain really puts life in perspective. Any day that's pain free is a good day.

Thankfully, I'm feeling much better today and have a refreshed outlook on life. It's funny how sometimes it takes bad things to give us a new perspective and help us see all the good in our lives. I have so much love in my heart, more than I ever thought possible. There have been times lately when I have felt it so strongly it has been overwhelming. My kids bring me so much joy. It's amazing to see them learning and growing everyday. In addition, I finally found my soul mate, and although the path was not ideal, the love we have for each other makes it all worth it. Life is so much sweeter with him by my side. Finally, my mom and I are on good terms again. I've learned to ignore her negativity and focus on the positive aspects of our relationship. We're getting along better than we have in years.

It's so nice to reap the positive benefits of all the changes I've made in my life. I've been through a lot of negativity over these last few months, and many times I doubted why I was putting myself through so much pain. I mean, life wasn't horrible before, but I knew in my heart there was something better out there for me. I took big risks. I had to die to one life before I could live in another one. I had to be completely torn down before I could build myself back up. I had to see how bad life could get in order to see how good it can be. It was all worth it, though. I know in my heart I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

Noah and the Whale - Shape of my Heart