Firewall

"Light to dark can shift in an instant. Feeling close but keeping my distance...Bust through the Firewall into Heaven." - Bright Eyes

The world lost a very inspirational man yesterday. Steve Jobs was an independent thinker. He didn't let other people's opinions hold him down. He had a passion for life and loved what he did. He realized that our time here is short, and we should live life to the fullest. His example inspired me in my own life.

I've always been a person who made decisions with my head and never my heart. I was existing but not really living. Two years ago, I had a life changing event. I went to the emergency room in the middle of the night with chest pains. I was convinced I was having a heart attack, but I was wrong. It was a panic attack. I spent the next 3 months in a heightened state of fear, believing I was going to die at any moment. I told myself if I ever felt good again, I wasn't going to take life for granted. So, I started doing things for myself. I went out with friends, attended concerts, and created this blog. I started listening to my heart, and I realized I wasn't living a happy or fulfilled life. In February of this year, circumstances were such that I could no longer ignore my heart. I wanted to follow it no matter what the consequences, and I knew the consequences would be great, and not just for me, but other people. I didn't want to hurt people, but I felt I was hurting them more by not being true to myself. I changed my whole life around. It was scary, and I'm still dealing with the fallout, but it was so worth it.

Our fear of death can have a great influence over us. We want to be able to control our lives, but death is the ultimate lack of control. Many people choose to follow religion because it gives them a sense of knowing what will happen after death. They feel in control of their own destiny, and it eases their fear. Others choose to take control of their destiny during their short time here on earth and live life to the fullest. I believe this is the way Mr. Jobs lived, and it's the way I wish to live my life as well. When my time here is over and I cross over into the great unknown, I don't want to have any regrets.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition." - Steve Jobs