"These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall. This is the wonder of devotion - I see the torch we all must hold. This is the mystery of the quotient - Upon us all a little rain must fall." - Led Zeppelin
This photo shoot didn't go as planned. I wanted to take these pictures in the beautiful purple mule grass that I took pictures with this time last year. It only stays purple for a few weeks out of the year. However, it doesn't show up very well in photos unless it's highlighted by the sun. There was no sun on this particular afternoon. It was overcast with intermittent light showers of rain. We were halfway to the mule grass location when we realized the weather just wasn't going to cooperate with us. As we were riding down the road, I spotted this old pack house, so we opted to take pictures there instead. We thought we were going to have to abandon the shoot at one point because it started raining, but it eventually slacked off and we were able to get some good shots.
Once we got back home, we settled in for a nice, relaxing evening, but it turned out to be anything but. Jerry and I got into a conversation about my insecurities with other women. He was trying to apply logic to the way I feel, but by the end of the night we both came to the conclusion that emotion trumps logic every time. He told me that he found other women attractive, but that didn't mean he wanted them. Just hearing him say he found other women attractive made me angry. I know it doesn't make any logical sense, but I can't help that stupid feeling that comes over me! I found myself wanting to know right then and there who the hell these women were who he found so attractive. He knew his answers would just fuel my fire, so he held out on me. At that point, I decided to share with him who I thought was attractive and because I was angry, I did not do it in the best possible way. I think I wanted to hurt him, so he could understand how I felt. It wasn't my proudest moment, but it worked. Jerry became quiet and was really struggling with what I had said. He admitted that it hurt him. I think for the first time he understood the emotions involved. While we didn't solve our problem that night, I do think we came to a better understanding of each other.
Emotions are a lot like the weather. We can make plans and have everything in place and then the weather can change everything. We can try to forecast it, but it can be very unpredictable. It's a wild card. The same can be said for emotions. We can apply logic and tell ourselves the way we should react given a certain situation, but when we are actually in the situation, emotions come into play and all logic goes out the window. I guess the best we can hope for is to feel our emotions, let them pass over us, but not let them control us.
Led Zeppelin - The Rain Song
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