I'm No Saint

Bonnie 5/04/2011 25 Comments Edit

"And you're not a saint, just another soldier on the road to nowhere." - Damien Rice

One of the traits of a saint is exhibiting selfless and ascetic behavior. I'm no saint, nor do I wish to be, and I don't want to live like one. I don't judge people who choose to live this way. The only thing I ask is to not be judged for how I choose to live my life. My mother is of the philosophy that once you get married and have children, your happiness no longer matters. The happiness of your family is at the forefront. I do not believe this. Who am I to decide what makes another person happy? I believe we are each responsible for our own happiness. I love my children, and I do my best to provide for them and show them that I love them, but I don't think they should rely on me for their happiness. They have to figure that out themselves just like I did.

I was 23 when I got married. I was barely out of college and had no idea what I wanted out of life. I got married because that was the logical next step. I had children because I was missing something in my life, and I thought children would fill that void. My children mean the world to me, and I'm glad I chose to have them, but I was still missing something. 10 years later at the age of 33, I finally figured out what that was. Someone came into my life who woke me up and made me realize that I hadn't really been living all these years. Suddenly, it became very obvious what I needed to do. Now, if I was a saint, I would have chosen to lie to myself, fight against my feelings, and sacrifice my happiness for my family, but I'm not, so I chose to be true to myself and my family. That was the choice I made, and I'm at peace with it.

Ironically enough, today's pictures were taken at a church. This little church is without a doubt the most beautiful one in my smalltown. I love the stone work, wooden doors, and gothic arches. I know it's hard to believe, but I'm wearing dress pants. It's been awhile. Most of my pants are too big for me including these, so that's why I've been wearing dresses and skirts lately. I really wanted to wear this blouse, though, so I made it my mission to wear pants. I have had this blouse for many years. I fell in love with it when I saw it in the catalog and ordered it right away. I love all the details on it, hence all the detailed photos. I'm not doing very well at sticking to my 5 photos per post am I? Oh well...LOL!

Today's song is "Amie" by Damien Rice. This song is about the person in your life that you can truly be yourself with. "It's about being completely honest with one another, accepting every aspect of each other, and the beauty that springs from that."

My intent with this post was to express my opinion, not to offend anyone or attack their beliefs. I think we are each trying to get through this life the best way we now how. In my world, a saint is someone who lives the best life they can lead while being true to themselves and accepting of others. I think that's the most we can ask of anyone.

Damien Rice - O - 06 - Amie

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