Judge Not...

OldCar 128

I'm starting to think I just need to stop posting on the Internet altogether. It seems like I'm always offending someone. I posted a video on my Facebook page today that I thought was funny. Yes, it had alot of cussing in it, and I said as much when I posted it. I just don't consider cussing that bad of a thing. I mean, they are just words. I understand that some people don't like it, so I figured they didn't have to watch it. Well, someone told me I shouldn't have posted it. I told them I was sorry and that I meant no offense. I just thought it was funny and wanted to post it on my wall. Apparently, what really upset her was there was 1 cuss word written out on the post. I'm sorry, but how do you go through life these days not ever seeing or hearing a cuss word? If I was that sensitive, I would stay offended all the time. I just don't understand people. There are things people post on Facebook all the time that I don't like or agree with, but what gives me the right to tell them they are wrong for posting it? I understand by posting it, I'm "putting myself out there." I get that. Tell me you hate it or don't think it's funny, but don't tell me I "shouldn't" post it. That makes me feel like a bad person.

I'm having high school flashbacks. You see, this girl went to school with me. It was a Southern Baptist school, and I constantly felt judged because I didn't conform. I remember one time in particular when I was put on the spot by a teacher in front of another class. He asked me to recite my favorite Bible verse and tell my salvation story. I didn't have either, and he knew it. I had to lie. When I left that classroom, I went the the bathroom and cried my eyes out. I tried to go to public school, but being a very introverted person and having been at this little private school most of my life, I wasn't tough enough to hack it at public school. So, I stayed there until I graduated (Validictorian). Go me! LOL! I went to a public college, and it was wonderful. I came out of my shell a little. I continue to come out of that shell more and more each day. Someday, I hope to come out of it enough that people's opinions don't hurt me anymore. Apparently, I'm not there yet.

I'm so sorry to go on like this about a non-fashion topic, but it is really helping me just to type all these feelings out. I promise to be back talking about fashion tomorrow! I know this post in itself will offend people, especially those I went to school with or are still involved in the school. There are some great things about the school. I even sent one of my children out there for a few years. I tried to send my other one, but he is not a conformist, so it didn't work out. LOL!

I'll leave you with one of my favorite poems and ironically, the one I recited in my Validictorian speech. Of course, my English teacher at the time told me I shouldn't say it because it sounded like I was "shooting the bull." I saved that speech and wrote her words in the margin to remind me of her critique. This poem, for me, is the ultimate expression of individualism, and I couldn't think of better last words for the school that tried to rob me of that.

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.



  1. Thanks for your thoughts and honesty here, Bonnie. I feel like I just really got to know you for the first time in my life, and I have to say, you're o.k. The fun thing about social media is that there's nowhere to hide. I would just encourage you to learn more about yourself from this whole experience, and who you really are. I've learned TONS of things about me just from my exchanges with people on Facebook... (mostly that it takes no time for me to be an ass...) All that to say, don't let any negative experience sit on you for too long, especially when it comes to people telling you what you should and shouldn't do or who you should or shouldn't be. The greatest thing that God has showed me is that if He wants me to be a certain way, He'll change my heart and mind about something. There's a lot of peace in that. I don't even know why I'm writing all this, except to say, you're o.k. and don't lose too much sleep over the whole thing.

  2. i cannot stand people who complain about things that they could just ignore. if they don't like it, they shouldn't read/watch/do/say it. it's like those people who want to censor books and movies that they know nothing about! they should just avoid it and not try to tell others what to do. your blog is great, and i'm sure your fb page is too. just ignore these people. unfriend them. it's not worth it.

  3. Phil: Thanks for reading and commenting. Sorry you didn't get to know me better in school. I don't think I even knew myself back then. I seem to better at expressing myself in text rather than in person, anyway. I guess some old wounds got reopened today, but nothing a good night's sleep can't cure. I always admired your great personality and talent. Just wanted you to know that...

  4. Don't let it get to you. Sometimes that is easier said than done, but some people should know when to just keep their mouth shut - and especially if you "warned" them that there were swear words in the video, that person should not have watched it.

  5. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! I've grown from the constant assault of rude comments I get at work from one of my co-workers. I am naturally shy/sensitive like you, more comfortable behind the written word, so I found it hard at first. It has made me understand some people are just like that (poor them), and that if I like something then too bad if someone else doesn't and are rude enough to tell me in a backhanded way (you win some, you loose some). I'm working on standing tall and strong no matter what, but it's hard when someone makes you feel bad--we can't always wear armor. I think the person who objected to the cuss word is on their own path of discovery--either they will remain rigid and a 'follower' their entire life, or their mind might eventually expand and allow for flexible thinking (or considerate, thoughtful thinking might be a nice start). Some people find it comfortable to conform strictly to rules and regulations, see things as black and white; it sounds like this person falls into that category and I would just look at them with a little bit of pity. And next time I would post a video with two cusswords, maybe three ;) I tend to enjoy rattling up rigid people--they often have a lot of flashy buttons I can't resist pushing (which I hope in turn will make them one day think about why they have so many of them). Good luck and keep on trucking!! Great poem and as always fab pictures. Saskia

  6. Bonnie, let yourself be who you are. If someone can't handle a cuss word or two, F&^% em...Just kidding, but really, life is too short to question everything you do. That's spoken from someone who shares the same affliction you do. I am trying to get over my conservative Christian background, but it constantly follows me around due to Facebook. I am trying to let myself be myself...

    Good luck!!!
    PS. I love a little Robert Frost

  7. that is my favorite poem too - I like it because I homeschool my kids and I feel like I am taking the road less traveled in doing so!

  8. Love that picture of you - so so so pretty against the flowers!
    As for offending people, well, they chose to watch the video. They could have switched off the computer or thrown it out the window. You shouldnt' have to go through life worrying about whether you've offended people. Be your beautiful self and that's all you can do :-)
    I remember that poem from high school!!! it makes so much sense these days. It didn't back then!

  9. If they don't like what you post on your Facebook page maybe they need to just move on. It doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are either since anyone could be offended by a particular topic that someone else finds amusing. Sounds like she needs to get a life and spend time somewhere else that doesn't offend her.

  10. Love your blog @Bonnie, great post! Just remember that no one can make you feel like a "bad person" without your permission. And I've always prayed "Lord Jesus, please protect me from some of your followers!" ;)

    I personally find FB to be very stifling. I much prefer anonymous blogging, where I can swear all I want and not have to face any ghosts of haters past.

    Like mama always, said - they're just jealous honey!

  11. Don't let some comment on Facebook bring you down! I think people like to use the face-less-ness of Facebook to say things they wouldn't in person. Email, Twitter, Facebook, and the like gives people permission to be rude and judgmental because there is a degree of separation between themselves and the person they are addressing, even if they actually know the person in real life! And like you said, no one has to view anything on Facebook if they don't want to, and even if they do view it it doesn't give them the right to try to insult you or make you feel as if you did something wrong. It sounds like the woman who did that takes pleasure from making others feel bad. Sorry that happened. :(

  12. It's your Facebook page! You can post on it what you want - I think it's offensive that someone would get on their high horse and tell you that you "shouldn't" do something. Especially when you made a point to put a disclaimer on it... people are just ridiculous these days.

  13. ^i agree with all of what sarah says.

    you put a warning. if they didn't heed it and did it anyway,then its no one's fault but their own.

    there's always going to be someone somewhere who will want to rain on your parade. just move aside and let the rain clouds pass. :)

  14. No matter what their opinions, it's not ok for anyone to say hurtful or verbally abusive things to you. The person with the nasty co-worker above does not have to take that, and you don't either from an unknown person trying to tell you what to do, or make you feel bad. People that do that kind of thing honestly never grew up from grade school days is my opinion.

    You are a VERY sweet and kind person Bonnie - don't let the nasties get to you!


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