I was very hesitant about posting the following photo in one of my more recent posts because it didn't present my nose in the best light. However, it really showed off the detail of the print on the dress, so I decided to post it anyway.
A few hours later Jerry mentioned to me that he was surprised I had posted that particular photo. He thought it was a beautiful photo, but he knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't like the lighting on my nose. Maybe my Prozac was working extra good that day, because I was feeling all bad ass and was like, "Well, it's my nose, so, totes whatevs." However, the next day was a different story. I woke up in a panic over the fact that I had put a picture out on the Internet that showed so clearly the jacked up nature of my nose. I've held strong so far and haven't removed it from the post, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been obsessing over it. And, let me tell you, when I obsess, I go into full on research mode.
I started by pulling out old photo albums from when I was little to try to ascertain when exactly my nose went wrong, because I don't ever remember thinking something was wrong with my nose until Jerry started taking my pictures with that damn fancy camera of his.
Ok, so here I am at 3:
The picture is not the best quality, but it looks like a pretty normal nose to me. Cute, even.
Alright, how about 10 years later:
My eyes look different sizes thanks to some novice makeup application, but my nose looks normal.
On a side note, this was my natural hair color which just happens to look pretty darn close to my current color. Kudos to my hair stylist!
Another decade later, on my wedding day:
Again, pretty grainy photo, but it doesn't scream ugly nose. I'm more horrified by my eyebrows.
Another side note: I only had 2 grand to spend on my wedding, and I spent close to half of that on a string duo. I wanted a quartet, but that was way out of my price range. I was not having a wedding without strings, so duo it was. I know, I know, first world problems. Quick, break out the violins...or in my case the violin (singular) and cello.
Anyway, let's look at a picture from a few weeks ago:
I don't have a problem with this nose either. WTF?
After combing through hundreds of old photos of myself, I concluded that what I've got here is a nose that only shows it's true nature in certain light, sorta like magic ink or vampires. This led me to ask myself the question: "Are there others out there like me?" Off to almighty Google I went to type in every celebrity name I could think of and analyze their nose...
There must be something about Bonnie because I found my first kindred nose on Ms. Bonnie Hunt. Girl is rocking that nose dent.
Molly Shannon - My Nose "Superstar"
Even Megan Fox, the epitome of beauty for many, had a nose dent once upon a time.
After seeing Megan's before and after, I decided to turn my search to the more clinical side of noses. I wanted to know if there was a name for my "condition." It took a bit of searching through the millions of rhinoplasty pics out there on the Internets, but I finally found a nose similar to mine under the classification of "bulbous tip." Nice.
However, I don't think my tip is quite as bulbous as this chicks. It's more of that dent down the middle of the tip that reminds me of my own. So, I searched for things relating to the anatomy of the nose and found this:
"The ball of the nose (Greater Alar Cartilage) is actually made up of two halves with the lateral cartilage wedging between the two. This separation of the two halves is not always visible."
Eureka! I had finally found it! The separation between the two halves of my Greater Alar Cartilage is visible under certain lighting conditions. Not only did I have an explanation for my messed up nose, I had a fancy sentence full of medical jargon to describe it. I was imagining how smart I would sound when explaining my condition to others when it hit me - I had been seeing no further than the end of my nose. I don't have a condition or some sort of disease that needs to be cured. I have a normal nose with normal anatomy. In fact, I found the above information and images on a website about drawing noses. Given that, I suppose I could choose to look at my nose as a "model nose." After all, our happiness and satisfaction in life really are dependent on how we choose to look at things. The ball (of my nose) was in my court. I could see it as ugly and flawed, or I could see it as beautiful and unique. I chose the latter.