Sweater: Anthropologie Sunday Draped Sweater
Boots: Anthropologie Buckled Paddock Boots
Necklace: Anthropologie Feather Frond Necklace
So, did anybody else see Girls last night? So. Good. Let's recap, shall we? **SPOILER ALERT**
First off, I love that Hannah was rocking the shorty-shorts romper hybrid or whatever the hell one would call shorts and a knotted blouse that are joined together in the back. I also love that the romper was in a bird print (girl knows how to "put a bird on it), and that she was sporting the trifecta of fashion faux pas all in one outfit: a wedgie, a muffin top, and exposed cellulite. Most of all, I love that she had a 2 day passionate affair with a rich, handsome doctor while wearing said outfit. Rock on, sister! Rock on!
I like to think of this episode as the more realistic version of Pretty Women. It was just what I needed after my week of OCD madness, and I almost didn't watch it. I was flipping through the channels last night and got sucked into the Grammy Awards by all the beautiful faces, bodies, and dresses on the screen. Beautiful women were everywhere - on the stage, in the audience, and even in the damn commercials. I was already feeling pretty low about myself, but seeing all those perfect people pretty much put the nail in my proverbial coffin. You see, I went for my yearly checkup on Thursday and was faced with the harsh reality that I've gained 10 pounds over the last 2 years. I've been obsessing over my weight ever since and doing compulsive things like looking over older photos from the blog and getting pissed for "letting myself go." I tried taking the dog for a walk yesterday to make myself feel better, but ended up feeling worse because each step reminded me of my fat, jiggly ass. To quote a line from Hannah, "Endorphins don't work on me." Anyway, I was watching the Grammy's, and a message from my DVR popped up that said it needed to change the channel because it was scheduled to record Girls and Downton Abbey at the same time. Next thing I know, I'm watching Girls, and thanking my DVR for saving me from perfect people hell.
Hannah is my hero. It's so refreshing to see a women on screen who doesn't have a perfectly toned body and is comfortable in her own skin. Girl gets naked, A LOT, and with no flattering camera angles or body doubles. Fat rolls, small boobs, pasty white skin - she puts it all out there. I love that she doesn't give a shit, but in last night's episode, after seeing all the nice things in the doctor's apartment, she admitted that she does in fact give a shit, and she too wants "all the things." It was a great moment of vulnerability from Hannah, and it was good to know that she struggles with the same issues we all do. Of course, once she opened up to the doctor and got all emotional, he immediately checked out on her. There was no "knight and shining armour" ending to this story. Instead, Hannah quietly made her "sexit" from the doctor's apartment and his life, but not before inspiring this girl to go a little easier on herself.
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Girl, you're beautiful, 10 pounds heavier or not. It doesn't matter. I'm struggling too with my weight. My problem is that I hate anything that feels like exercise, if that makes sense. I've started walking a few miles a week and as soon as the weather warms up I'm going to be swimming laps. I'm trying to curb my comfort food craving-that's not going so well. Each day is a new day though. Girls sounds like a show I need to watch. Love yourself no matter what your size and focus on the positive and what makes you feel good. Hopefully you and I will shed the weight, but if not hopefully we can find the confidence and self-love that Hannah seems to have.
ReplyDeleteI know that this is not the point of your post, but you've had so many posts about weight gain and feeling squishy that I wonder if you've tried to do anything about it? Now, I know weight loss is difficult, but with your other issues that you've discussed recently (anxiety, compulsiveness), I bet you'd really benefit from an exercise program. Do you currently workout at all? I find that exercise has all sorts of mental health benefits, including improving my own self-image. Of course, it doesn't hurt that it makes me feel leaner and stronger and helps me look better in all my clothes. Its amazing what a month of cutting out junk food and good old fashioned sweat does for me -- mentally and physically!
ReplyDeleteDo you like running? How about spinning classes? Yoga?
You are way too hard on yourself, Bonnie! Ease up! You are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteHa! You're so funny! I can gain 10 pounds in a weekend! You don't need to lose weight but Christine W is totally right. Exercise does make you feel way better and gives you more energy and just makes you fell happier, better, whatever! Get into the habit of walking everyday. I know from personal experience that working in an office and sitting behind a desk all day made me really depressed and the only thing that made me feel better about life was getting outside and taking a walk. I didn't even know how bad I felt until I felt better. I say get out there and let the chub jiggle and forget about it :)
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