The High Road

Top: Anthropologie Field Biology Blouse - Size 4

Sweater: Anthropologie Micro-Striped Cardigan - Size S

Pants: Pilcro High-Rise Flares - Size 28

Shoes: Civico 10

Hairpin: Anthropologie Pearly Pins

"Cause they know and so do I, the high road is hard to find." - Broken Bells

This top has been getting terrible reviews. I can certainly understand why. I wasn't sure about it myself when I first tried it on. It's really poofy and a tad bit short-waisted, and sizing up only makes it get poofier, not longer. I really wanted it to work, though, because the print and other details are just gorgeous. I decided to size down to a 4. This solved the poofiness issue, but the length still bothered me. If there is one thing I don't want, it's a "Winnie the Pooh Moment." That's what I like to call what happens when your shirt exposes your belly for all to see. Back in the 90's, this was a good thing. Of course, back then my stomach was as flat as a board and hadn't been through 3 pregnancies. Also, we wore higher-waisted pants back in the day. That's was it, higher-waisted pants! Once again, my crazy thought processes came to my rescue. High-waisted pants was the answer.

I've been thinking a lot about my dad lately. Next month will be a year since I have talked to him other than calling him on holidays to "test the waters." I just don't understand it. My parents have both done things I didn't agree with, some of them worse than others, but I didn't cut them out of my life. They are my parents, and I love them. A disagreement shouldn't erase all that they have done for me or meant to me. I think avoidance is really childish. It reminds me of what my daughter does when I tell her no. She crosses her arms, tells me she doesn't want to be my best friend anymore, and storms out of the room. None of the other things I have done for her throughout her life mean anything to her. At that moment, she is only concerned that I won't do that one thing. Of course, she is 4 years old, so I don't expect her to think beyond the present, but I do expect more from adults.

When looking up the lyrics for this song, I came across this meaning:

"The song is about the conflict, and isloation, associated with decisions, forks in the road of life, the challenge presented in decision making to "find the high road" - to live life true to the best of your potential, the "right" path, or, conversely do you "sell out" take what's there to be taken now, settle for what you can get, or are told you can have? Are you motivated to make life's choices on the basis of what could be? Or does the sense of what you might lose, or have already lost, guide you?"

For most of my life, I was on a very different road. It was a safe road, sort of like a big, generic Interstate. It got me where I wanted to go, but it wasn't a very fulfilling drive. Last year, I came to a very big fork and decided to take my chances on a different path, a more risky but scenic route. Unfortunately, some of the people I love the most decided not to join me on this road. They prefer the safer road, and I don't fault them for it. I have hope that one day they will come to their own fork that will perhaps lead them back to me. For now, all I can do is take the high road and hope that one day our roads will meet again.