Wake Up and Smell the Flowers

Dress: J Crew Softspun Sunset Dress - Size Small

Sweater: Anthropologie Midnight's Spring Cardigan - Size Medium

Boots: Steve Madden Candence Boots - Size 9

Flower Hair Pin: Anthropologie

"I never learned to count my blessings. I choose instead to dwell in my disasters. Will I always feel this way, so empty, so estranged? Lay your blouse across the chair. Let fall the flowers from your hair and kiss me with that country mouth so plain." - Ray Lamontagne

This was the first Christmas since my separation. I expected the worse but hoped for the best. It went really well, better than I could have hoped for, actually. It was the best Christmas I have had in years. Last year, I had nothing in my stocking. This year it was full of all kinds of goodies courtesy of my love. I think the man is trying to fatten me up with all the chocolate he gave me, or he could have known that I would need it to get through this week without my kids. I dropped them off with their dad on Sunday afternoon and have been coming down from my Christmas high ever since.

I've been doing my best to stay busy, but last night I had some down time and my mind got the better of me. It's like I get so sad and miss my kids and then my mind comes up with things to torture me. I had planned on blogging, but after looking at these pictures, I just didn't feel up to it. I decided that I hated my nose. I spent most of the night Googling images of noses trying to find someone who had a nose like mine. I came up empty. Apparently, I have the strangest nose ever. In most light, it looks completely normal, but in certain light, it looks completely crazy. I mean, look at it in the third picture up there. It looks like it wants to be a cute little nose, but then there's that big, bulbous (I hate that word) tip, and what is up with the dent in the middle of it? I mean, I've always known the dent was there, but never really thought it was noticiable until I saw this picture. I couldn't find a single nose on the internets that had a big 'ole dent in it like mine. I felt myself becoming really depressed about it. Jerry noticed that I was down and asked me what was wrong. I told him, and of course, he said that he loved my nose. It was a sweet thing to say but didn't make me feel any better, so I went to sleep feeling really down about myself.

With the dawn of a new day came a more positive state of mind. I woke up and decided to be thankful for my nose, dent and all. I told myself that I should be happy that I've got one and that it works. I also thought about Jerry's words the night before. He really does love my nose and was not just giving me lip service. His words were not something I should have just brushed aside. He loves me despite my flaws inside and out, and who, having that kind of love, could be sad? It may not be the most ideal nose, but I'm gonna love it anyway. Besides, I've got enough people hating on me without hating on myself.