Top: Anthropologie Trifecta Tee
Cardigan: Urban Outfitters
Jeans: AE Jeggings
Boots: Frye Paige Tall Riding Boots
Coat: Anthropologie Vaterland Parka
"Feel that sun just hold you right, leave you burning down the night. Feel that wind lap up your soul if you cannot let it go. And when your thirst can come to me, I am a river for the sea. When you can hold me in your sway, I'll give myself away." - Blind Pilot
Sorry I've been MIA for the last few days. I've been trying to type this post up since Monday. I have written up a whole post, deleted everything, and started again 3 times. I chose 5 completely different pictures from this set when I first got started on this post. I have since deleted those and have added different ones several times now. Oh, and I've hated the way I've looked everyday this week, so I haven't taken any outfit pics since Friday. I guess to say I've been experiencing some self-loathing and indecisiveness is an understatement.
I've been trying to pinpoint exactly what has been causing all these negative thoughts and the simple answer is stress. I'm usually stressed out financially, but the Christmas season has definitely pumped up the volume on that issue. I've purchased most of the kids Christmas presents at this point, but it has left my finances in a sad state this week. I've been selling stuff on Ebay like a mad women lately. It seems like everywhere I turn I need to spend money on something. I have a Christmas party coming up tomorrow night and my hair looks like a grey-colored animal has crawled up in it and died. Thankfully, I've managed to make enough money on Ebay to pay for my dress and my hairdo.
Work has been crazy lately. I have been assigned like 50 projects in the last couple of days. Then, I was reading a certain website yesterday and saw where they were snarking on me about my looks again. After the day I had, it sucked to see that (Yes, I'm ugly and fat. You win. Congrats!), but more pressing issues quickly took it's place. My 7 year old had a temper tantrum of epic proportions last night over a Mario doll. Then, I took a look at his progress report. He had a B in math on his last report card but is now failing math the first period of this nine weeks. And the hits just keep on coming...
Today, at lunch, Jerry and I parked down by the river (that phrase always reminds me of Chris Farley's sketch from SNL). Anyway, we rolled the windows down and a cool breeze blew through the truck. It felt wonderful. He looked at me and said, "This is nice." I agreed. Then he said, "Life is good, isn't it?" I thought about it and realized yes, as a matter of fact, it is. I've been so busy focusing on all the negative that I forgot about all the positive things in my life. Our little rendezvous was just what I needed. Jerry always knows exactly what I need, because he's my soul mate and that's "how they do." He even tried to type my blog post up for me last night. This is what he wrote:
"Sorry I've been MIA the last few days. I've been busy with my challenging children. They're quite amazing. My first born is the perfect child. Does everything that's asked without question, yet has the insight to know things beyond his years. The second child is the challenge, and as such demands respect. He's beyond his years in so many ways it's hard to remember he's seven and has all the hurtles that life throws at you at that age to deal with. My youngest is demanding too, but can't be compared to her older brother. She's compassionate in her own way and doesn't have the skills he does when it comes to digging in. It's been a rewarding week, but challenging and time consuming."
So in love...Life is good.
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You are gorgeous beyond words.
ReplyDeleteHow anyone could call you anything but beautiful beats me. Christmas time has always been stressful on me and most others I suspect. Just hang tight, February is around the corner and Valentines day is just what you need.
ReplyDeleteGood for you. There's almost always good to be found to balance out the bad. And as long as you have love there is always good. And, I like your coat!
ReplyDeleteLove the orange
ReplyDeleteDecember is an expensive month. We just spend a lot of money on Sinterklaas presents (Dutch childrens' holiday --> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas ). Now we are up for the christmas season, decorations, luxury food, gasoline for visiting friends and relatives etc. However, my skirt is thrifted, the other skirt was on sale and I managed to buy some thrifted presents for the little one. I try to celebrate simpler this year and re-use decorations. Store decorations are very tempting at the moment so I try to avoid them ;-). I really should start selling some of the stuff I never wear or use.
love love love the coat!
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I love your blog. I love your fashion sense, your photos and your sense of humor. I look forward to reading your posts. If this blogging thing starts to hurt you in some way though, I think you have to consider closing up shop. Or, you have to not read that crap on the GOMI site if you are going to keep going with the blogging. Really. I don't know how any woman would read stuff like that and not care. Of course it hits home at least a little bit.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, you are a gorgeous woman in her 30s! You have a great sense of style. Your pictures are amazing. Try to remember that. Try not to read the garbage that fat little trolls with nothing better to do than beat people down are saying behind the comfort of their cyberspace anonymity.
I can help you with the whole money issues thing. Stop shopping for clothes for yourself. Problem solved!
ReplyDeleteHi Bonnie! I also picked up the Vaterland Parka for Black Friday. For that price, the coat was a real steal and it also looks great on you. I was also surprised to find that it could kept me warm in 35-40 degree weather in Chicago. I'm guessing the Sherpa lining makes this possible. :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'd simply try to avoid reading "that site" although I know it's easier said then done. You should know you are beautiful and far from fat!
Totally agree! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt's a great coat! I got it precisely for the fact that it is so warm. I wanted a really warm coat to wear to my son's football games. Unfortunately, I paid $200 for mine. I tried to get it on Black Friday for $100, but I got a cancellation email. :-( Glad you were able to get yours at such a great price!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice! Must be nice to live such a simple life of black and white: "This is good for me, so I will do it. This is bad for me, so I will not do it." Unfortunately, my life's a little more complicated than that.
ReplyDeleteThanks Catherine! It does hurt sometimes, but it also brings me joy. Just like life, you've got to take the good with the bad. As long as I still get joy from it, I'm going to do it. If I get to a point where it is no longer adding anything to my life then I will stop.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jennifer!
ReplyDeleteDecember is an expensive month! In addition to buying gifts for others, it's so tempting to buy things for yourself because of all the sales. Thankfully, I get paid 3 times this month, because I'm going to need it!
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks Mike! You are too sweet!
ReplyDeleteWell, I wouldn't go that far, but I appreciate the compliment! :-)
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should seek help for a shopping addiction?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should tend to your own problems.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that coat on you.
ReplyDelete