tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post3960192664366296765..comments2023-09-08T05:50:02.938-04:00Comments on Small Town Fashionista: Rock BottomBonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-71831874779649956762012-07-01T00:11:02.795-04:002012-07-01T00:11:02.795-04:00I am in the middle of a huge life decision. I thin...I am in the middle of a huge life decision. I think it will cause so much chaos I am afraid. How did you find the courage to face your fears and make the right decision.... xoxoSherrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-69196504390020469142012-07-01T00:09:02.458-04:002012-07-01T00:09:02.458-04:00I get the Summer Off philosophy. We did that with ...I get the Summer Off philosophy. We did that with our son (he is 33 and healthy) when he was young. It was the best thing for him. I feel for you for summers. I had terrible summers, as well, when he was off of his meds. You are in my thoughts.....what a an awesome mom you are - bless you during the stress of this time. xoxoSherrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-11570197436915066042012-06-23T16:06:00.501-04:002012-06-23T16:06:00.501-04:00I don't think you should have to lie to fit in...I don't think you should have to lie to fit into society.<br />I also don't think the checker at target should have said that since a lot of people don't enjoy father's day for various reasons.<br />BUT... he was probably just trying to be nice and when you say something like that you are just going to make him feel like shit. I think there's a better way to handle it.<br />Why not just say-" I'm not celebrating father's day this year." or "Nope, just enjoying the weekend."<br />Somehting that is not a lie but also not going to make the situation worse.guest1noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-48970470557404992722012-06-22T13:56:40.334-04:002012-06-22T13:56:40.334-04:00I would imagine that taking him on and off meds is...I would imagine that taking him on and off meds is probably part of the reason that his emotions are all over the place. That sounds horrible. My moods can be affected by something as simple as a Benadryl at night. <br />Also, you have many positive things going on in your life right now. Why would you only choose to focus on the bad? Be proactive and work on solutions for your son. Other than that I really don't see what you have to be upset about. Just because you don't like your decorating? <br />I understand how Father's Day can be difficult. But, why let a day created by the greeting card market affect you? Find a solution or be at peace with the way things are. <br />Stop focusing on the bad all the time. You can decide to be happy. (Yes, I am speaking from experience.)<br />Another thing, I actually support you and your decision to leave your marriage and be with the man you fell in love with. Life is short and you should live it happy.Amandanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-86198764447789780632012-06-22T00:06:18.705-04:002012-06-22T00:06:18.705-04:00I just want to say that when I come to your blog I...I just want to say that when I come to your blog I expect the voice that I have come to expect when I read your blog. Honesty/Transparency and I applaud you for it. It is hard to admit our problems with family and/or ourselves. That takes guts especially when people like to attack over the shield of the computer. Hang in there. You do got a lot on your plate. <br />On another note, I love seeing the outfits and Anthro reviews. Thank you.Summernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-76846693975912695652012-06-21T19:01:39.597-04:002012-06-21T19:01:39.597-04:00wow, all these mentions of being stressed out, the...wow, all these mentions of being stressed out, the loose flowy top, and really radiant skin these past few weeks...are you pregnant? SPILL!Ninanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-76315850538816462182012-06-21T00:24:05.400-04:002012-06-21T00:24:05.400-04:00I'd suggest taking all processed food out of y...I'd suggest taking all processed food out of your son's diet and getting him on some good probiotics. That will help with the behavioral issues and you may find you don't need the medication again.guestnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-30525405286206406892012-06-20T23:38:04.601-04:002012-06-20T23:38:04.601-04:00I've tried. He's not a very verbal guy whe...I've tried. He's not a very verbal guy when it comes to feelings. The thing that seems to work the best with him is to give him a lot of one on one attention. When he wrote on the walls, instead of losing my shit like I wanted to do, I calmly cleaned off the walls and then sat down with him and let him talk to me about his newest video game. I let him know that what he did was wrong, but I knew that this approach would work better to diffuse the situation rather than punishing him. He likes to talk about the things he's interested in, but he is not big on talking about his feelings. I get it. I used to be a lot like that myself. After our conversation about the video game, he hugged me and told me he loved me. I knew that was his way of telling me he was sorry about writing on the walls. I'm sure I don't do everything right as a parent, but I'm trying my best. I welcome any suggestions you have. I think sports would really help, but he has such bad social anxiety, I can't get him to participate in one.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-89127088850960917672012-06-20T23:24:09.599-04:002012-06-20T23:24:09.599-04:00Yes, we've discussed it with his doctor. He ha...Yes, we've discussed it with his doctor. He has left it up to our discretion since we are the ones who have to deal with his behavior. He does pretty good most of the time. He usually has one episode a week and it is usually triggered by something. For example, he punched the stove pipe cover because we made him take his pill (non-stimulant), and he didn't want to take it that morning. If his bad behavior gets worse, we will reevaluate with the doctor. Right now, it's manageable.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-63322069094902215912012-06-20T23:15:48.100-04:002012-06-20T23:15:48.100-04:00The meds work well for his behavior, but he has ab...The meds work well for his behavior, but he has absolutely no appetite when he is on them. For this reason, we take him off the meds on weekends, holidays, and Summer break. We use another med during these times that doesn't work as well on his behavior but doesn't surpress his appetite either. He lost 10 pounds over the course of the school year. That's a lot for an 8 year old. He should be gaining, and it scares me. We use the Summer as a opportunity to get him back up to his regular weight, because I know once school starts, he will have to go back on the meds and back to losing weight again. I'm willing to deal with his behavior issues if it means he is healthier.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-15847287328668957382012-06-20T22:53:26.065-04:002012-06-20T22:53:26.065-04:00Change is HARD! I'm sure things will turn arou...Change is HARD! I'm sure things will turn around, be patient! Patient and persistent! Making a house a home takes some time. Try taking care of one room at a time and don't feel like you have to do everything at once, things will come together! And on that note it's time for some movie therapy! Go find "Under the Tuscan Sun" and it will make you feel better :)<br /><br />As far as your son goes, why don't you have him help you with the decorating so that he feels like he has some control over what's going on? Give him a project - make a piece of art for a certain room, pick out flowers for the garden, have him help you choose stuff for the house. Make it seem like this is a GOOD change. Get him on board!Katie Kislukhttp://www.facebook.com/katie.kisluknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-82548050530296007292012-06-20T21:26:14.576-04:002012-06-20T21:26:14.576-04:00This too shall pass, Bonnie. Hang in there! He&#...This too shall pass, Bonnie. Hang in there! He'll settle into his new routine and new home. You could try giving him the meds for a bit this summer. Just a thought. <br /><br />I have to tell you how much I appreciate your honesty; that it isn't all rainbows and butterflies over here. Other blogs I read make it all seems so annoyingly perfect. I like that you aren't afraid to share the difficult stuff.Catherine_Snoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-54756384467918175802012-06-20T20:38:20.956-04:002012-06-20T20:38:20.956-04:00Why would try to "fatten him up" over th...Why would try to "fatten him up" over the summer? if the meds work well for him the rest of the time? No sass, just an honest question.JWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-85490048373973834902012-06-20T19:51:03.563-04:002012-06-20T19:51:03.563-04:00You probably shouldn't take him off meds. Have...You probably shouldn't take him off meds. Have you talked to his doctor? What has he/she said? That probably helps with him feeling out of control, he loses it when he has to go off his meds.http://twitter.com/snowblossom2noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-74352847240000301562012-06-20T19:34:28.773-04:002012-06-20T19:34:28.773-04:00Yes, my son acting out seems to make everything wo...Yes, my son acting out seems to make everything worse. I wish it was just a phase, but he's been like this since he was a baby. He has gotten better with age, but he has "flare ups" when changes occur in his life. You're right, I need to focus on all the positives in my life. It's just difficult sometimes. Thanks for your uplifting comment.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-52942363701166566582012-06-20T19:30:18.710-04:002012-06-20T19:30:18.710-04:00My son has had behavior problems since he was 3 ye...My son has had behavior problems since he was 3 years old. He was actually kicked out of a daycare for his behavior. He has been diagnosed with ODD(Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and ADHD. I'm not denying that my separation had an impact on him. It had an impact on us all. However, this type of behavior is nothing new with him, and it always seems to flare up when there is a change in the status quo. Add to that the fact that we've taken him off his meds, and it's been a rough month. FYI: We take him off his meds in the Summer because he loses so much weight when his on them during the school year that we try to fatten him up over the Summer.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-79041386894207267152012-06-20T19:25:34.288-04:002012-06-20T19:25:34.288-04:00I don't know the story of the reason your son ...I don't know the story of the reason your son takes medications during the school term--I would guess ADHD or whatever it's called now. That aside, I'd suspicion that he's finally getting around to dealing with his feelings about your separation and divorce. Perhaps it would be helpful to simply allow him to express them verbally...? Have you allowed him to vent about this in a constructive way?Just some guynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-17289971170231513792012-06-20T19:02:52.063-04:002012-06-20T19:02:52.063-04:00I can understand why your child is acting out, my ...I can understand why your child is acting out, my dad walked out on my mom as well when I was about that age and that's how I felt. Bonnie, buying a new house and buying new clothes won't ever ease your pain.JWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-81230913757852577792012-06-20T18:19:17.049-04:002012-06-20T18:19:17.049-04:00I am sorry, my guess is the son acting out would b...I am sorry, my guess is the son acting out would be the most worrisome. I hope it's just a phase. Good luck... and try to think of the great things as well....the house (youre not homeless), your relationship (you are loved) and your children (you are blessed). Add to that you are just plain hot and you have a lot to hold your head up about.... Smile.Modvoicenoreply@blogger.com