tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post1127809916141757954..comments2023-09-08T05:50:02.938-04:00Comments on Small Town Fashionista: Me, Myself, and IBonniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06570402319337666763noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-65249442667686263782011-10-04T14:18:03.331-04:002011-10-04T14:18:03.331-04:00AMEN. I agree with ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING this rea...AMEN. I agree with ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING this reader has said, and put so intelligently.Jonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-84047345139057804662011-10-03T19:26:28.567-04:002011-10-03T19:26:28.567-04:00As someone who's been helped by therapy, I wou...As someone who's been helped by therapy, I would suggest maybe talking about your blogging, and your reading of GOMI with a professional. It doesn't seem like blogging is bringing anything productive into your life. It just makes me wonder--are you trying to punish yourself by reading the GOMI comments, because of your low self esteem? Have you thought about why you wanted to be "honest" by sharing the story of the break up of your marriage? Did you expect the negative feedback on your blog, as a reflection of what your family is already communicating to you? <br /><br />I don't know you, and I don't really have an opinion on what's happened in your life. And even if I did have lots of positive things to say, only you can feel convince yourself of your own worth. As an outsider, it doesn't seem like blogging is helping you.A Readernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-83026041102406469032011-10-03T17:21:14.028-04:002011-10-03T17:21:14.028-04:00While I don't condone what was said on that bl...While I don't condone what was said on that blog, you do have to remember that you've very much clung to this logic of "my blog, my space".. by the same token, GOMI is "their blog, their space", which means they're allowed to say whatever they want on their space, as horrible as it may be. It's been brought up that posting the emails between you and Jerry could be very hurtful to his ex-wife, to which you responded that she should just not read your blog if she didn't want to get hurt. It's time for you to take your own advice. If you don't want to be hurt by what they're saying on their own blog, then you need to take the responsibility to not read that blog. Again, I don't think what they said was right and I'm not agreeing with them, but I think you need to not be hypocritical about the "this is my space and I can do whatever I want" mentality.Guestnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-22728233148393630332011-10-03T16:33:12.537-04:002011-10-03T16:33:12.537-04:00Hi Bonnie. I probably won't say anything much ...Hi Bonnie. I probably won't say anything much new from what's been said in the sea of comments the past few weeks. But thought I'd just say it anyway.<br /><br />When I read your posts, I see a woman who is lost. Just as you say you are looking for your identity and growing your self-esteem by ignoring the commentators that protest your actions, you are also letting those things thrive on the perhaps well-intentioned but misguided advice of your fans. I personally always always regard the approval of people with heaps of caution. Maybe it's me being my analytical self, but I want to know why they are agreeing with me and rooting me on? Who are these people? How much do they have invested in the situation in question? Will they take part in any of the results of my actions? Do they even know all the details? Are they just making themselves feel better because perhaps they have done the same thing as you have and thus by disagreeing with your behavior they also disapprove of their own? Do they want to have someone in their boat to make them feel better about what they've done themselves in their own lives? Or are they just simply flatterers? There are some people who don't like to acknowledge any right behavior or wrong behavior; anything goes for them as long as they "find happiness."<br /><br />These people can be very destructive. There's something called tough love, and if it's absent, then real love just can't be there. Whoever you truly love, you want them to be the best person they can be, even if that means pointing out a hard truth to face. <br /><br />We don't know all the details; we can't know if you are leaving something out, if you ever exaggerate in your story, or whether there's a whole other side to it. But assuming all you said is the complete truth (which I'm not saying it is not), your parents deserting you is crushing, I know. My father would probably do the same thing. Those comments on GOMI and elsewhere are simply nauseating, and any hate towards you is not right. No human being should be subject to that. On the flip side however, no human being should have to have his wife cheat on or lie to him. I know you already know people feel this way, so I really do apologize for being redundant. No children should have to live through a divorce. No parent should have to watch their child's life seem to fall apart by their choice. But that is life. You are being wronged, and so are they. Such is life. <br /><br />You keep telling yourself cliche lines about love being worth the greatest sacrifice. But you are fooling yourself. Love is worth the greatest sacrifice only when that sacrifice is the self. You sacrifice yourself; your life, your ego, your time, money, strength. You giving up someone else's well-being is not love. It's something quite the opposite. <br /><br />I wish you the best, Bonnie. I really hope you find yourself, that you wake up one day and open your eyes to what life is about. Life is not about seeking and assuring your own well-being at the expense of others. Never never is it that. Please please, if anything, don't listen to the crap people like to say cloaked in therapy language, that you have to look out for yourself and do whatever you need to find joy in life. That is just a fancy and deceitful way of live the way you want no matter what the cost to others. Look out for yourself, yes. But do so responsibly, putting others first. You can do the two at the same time, contrary to what most people think.<br /><br />And now I deeply deeply do apologize for this unbelievably long comment. I will leave with the strong recommendation to read a book called, "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck, and a quote: "Everything that deceives may be said to enchant." --PlatoReadernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-42913174752561309372011-10-03T15:41:16.821-04:002011-10-03T15:41:16.821-04:00Wow that's really mean that people would attac...Wow that's really mean that people would attack your appearance! Its very childish and stupid. People have the balls to say things behind the screen of their computer that they would NEVER say in real life about someone they knew. What people really have a problem with is the affair and posting the emails....so why rip on things that are irrelevant such as weight or hair? Perhaps posting those emails wasn't the best idea b/c it was perceived as insensitive to the other people involved. But what's done is done...please don't spend time fretting over the rude comments. That's just how people lash out; they will pick on anything and the first thing they usually attack is looks. Save your sanity and stop reading the nasty websites.Banananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-3784139048011514842011-10-03T15:32:44.331-04:002011-10-03T15:32:44.331-04:00I'm wearing a size small.I'm wearing a size small.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-55372346697545846232011-10-03T14:39:07.044-04:002011-10-03T14:39:07.044-04:00There is a difference between 'attacking' ...There is a difference between 'attacking' a person's actions vs a person. I don't really see the point to being vicious or the inability of communicating feelings without being cruel. You are a beautiful woman. I don't know you, but I don't think you are a 'bad' person. I think what you did was wrong and I think you have made some bad choices. I wouldn't be happy if I was a player in this scenario to have no input about my dirty laundry being aired for all to see. However, this is your life for you to live as you see fit. We all have free will. You will also live the consequences of your choices, no matter what you believe. And I don't mean that in a bad way, just stating a fact. We all make mistakes. It's how we handle those mistakes that defines who we are and our characters.mcp68noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-81480690322199126282011-10-03T14:05:18.437-04:002011-10-03T14:05:18.437-04:00Hey there, Bonnie! I think the appearance stuff i...Hey there, Bonnie! I think the appearance stuff is totally uncalled for and completely not true, for what it is worth. I think the reason for the personal attacks like that are because of the posted emails about the affair. Women hate the mistress. That's just how it goes in the society we live in. And you were the mistress. I know it happens all the time but that doesn't make women hate the mistress less. I mean, how many people are honestly in the Angelina camp? Know what I mean? I think there was maybe a way to come out with all of this that would have been a little less detrimental to your blog image than posting all the sordid emails for the world, Jerry's ex-wife of 25 years and his son to see. You still would have gotten flack but maybe would have been seen as less of a pariah. You just come across as smug about it and unconcerned about the other parties involved that are obviously still hurting, which makes you look like a really nasty, bitchy mistress (which I am guessing you are not).<br /><br />You seem like a decent person, who is probably pretty nice in real life. We all make misguided decisions from time to time. Maybe this was one of them for you. It will blow over eventually. I think you just have to ignore that stuff out there. Maybe address some of the followers who are wondering what you were thinking (or not thinking) when you posted the emails. Or, just ignore them too and move on. They'll all stop talking about it eventually. As for the community you live in, you will have a tougher road to hoe with the whole "mistress" image thing because you live in a small town. That'll pass too though, eventually. There is always another scandal for people to move on to!<br /><br />You don't have a man face. You are not fat. You don't have horrible hair. Remember that. You just did something that the majority of women in the society we live in really frown upon. That's why you are getting torn apart like this.Catherinenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-26552017128551468862011-10-03T13:56:59.095-04:002011-10-03T13:56:59.095-04:00Bonnie, I have been a longtime reader and while I ...Bonnie, I have been a longtime reader and while I don't agree with everything you post, it is your blog so you do what you feel you have to. It seems that lately your blog has been causing you much more stress than happiness. Have you thought about taking some time off? Maybe just taking a blogging break may make you get a different perspective. These people on the Internet are not important. You have people in your life that are important and if you focused the time you give to this blog on them, your feelings of happiness would have to surpass these feelings of inadequacy. And taking a break would not mean that the haters win. Doing something for your own sanity and well-being means that you and your loved ones win. Good luck.SLP LOGSDONnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-87150008029728890652011-10-03T13:51:33.308-04:002011-10-03T13:51:33.308-04:00I'd like to feel sympathy for you, Bonnie. It...I'd like to feel sympathy for you, Bonnie. It sucks to feel controlled, by a parent, then subsequently by a spouse. I'd be willing to wager that many, many, if not even MOST, women empathize with that, and it's something a lare chunk of us have struggled with on some level. I get that you were trying to share the development of an important event in your life. After that, you just lose me. I find it difficult to understand how you can honestly examine your heart and you conscience and truly say that you didn't foresee that what you posted last week could cause other people pain. I hope that you never experience the betrayal of infidelity. What you did last week was unbearably cruel to your ex, your boyfriend's ex, your kids (cause the internet and these posts are forever), and your boyfriend's kid.guestnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-33741153266367948232011-10-03T13:27:58.462-04:002011-10-03T13:27:58.462-04:00I'm here for the fashion and skipping the dram...I'm here for the fashion and skipping the drama...we're similar in build and size and I would love to know what size is the skirt you're wearing? Thanks.Misty Lynnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-85867184739363171122011-10-03T11:56:21.493-04:002011-10-03T11:56:21.493-04:00I am LOVING the skirt, Bonnie. Is that a recent a...I am LOVING the skirt, Bonnie. Is that a recent acquisition?<br /><br />As for the comments--let it roll off your back and keep on keeping on. Seriously. Take care of yourself. At the end of the day, a cruel comment on a blog is just that--a comment from someone who doesn't even know you, is making judgements about you based on what they think you're about, or has issues themselves. Know yourself and be confident; Take responsibility for what you put out there, stand on your convictions, and move forward.Hotsausnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-30437588214705371822011-10-03T11:48:13.042-04:002011-10-03T11:48:13.042-04:00I haven't commented before but I'm gonna g...I haven't commented before but I'm gonna give it a shot right now in the hopes that maybe, MAYBE you will see the other side. We GET what you think your motives for posting the emails were.<br /><br />Why can't you get that posting them on the internet might actually be painful for the other people involved? My ex left me for another woman and I have to tell you...if she had posted emails on the internet where I could clearly see the history of how and when he fell in love with her (while he was living with me) it would have killed me. I would have been unable to just look away. I would have tortured myself reading them over and over again.<br /><br />As the child of a father who fell in love with someone else while married to my mother, it's the same thing. If his new girlfriend was posting a history of exactly when my family fell apart, I wouldn't have been to look away in that situation either.<br /><br />What you are putting out there, regardless of what your motives or intentions were, is probably torturing the other people involved in this story.Guestnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-27157216702548102812011-10-03T10:28:07.301-04:002011-10-03T10:28:07.301-04:00your outfit and photos are beautiful as always! di...your outfit and photos are beautiful as always! did you notice those little green leaves behind you? they look like little hearts.Olynxnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-17463165329745966252011-10-03T10:11:19.311-04:002011-10-03T10:11:19.311-04:00Thanks Kat! You're so right. I will do my best...Thanks Kat! You're so right. I will do my best to take your advice.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-32919549935329708352011-10-03T10:08:53.528-04:002011-10-03T10:08:53.528-04:00Thanks Rebecca! Well said, and my sentiments exact...Thanks Rebecca! Well said, and my sentiments exactly.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-47767873239769887352011-10-03T10:00:55.807-04:002011-10-03T10:00:55.807-04:00I have seen no comments on those other websites th...I have seen no comments on those other websites that I could take as constructive critism. Those people don't seem to be making comments to help me "be the best I can be." To suggest that is ludicrous. Surely not everything I wear is too small for me. Give me specific examples of things I need to size up in and do it in a polite manner, and then I'll be willing to take your advice. I cannot understand how people find my emails "brutally" honest. If anything, I find them to convey, in a way that just writing about my feelings couldn't, the internal struggle Jerry and I went through in leaving our spouses. I was not trying to be cruel, and I don't understand how they can be interpreted as such. As I've stated before, I understood the emotions involved before posting those emails and edited the emails to tell the story but not maliciously hurt anyone. I wish people understood the difference between what they think my motives were for posting the emails and what my motives actually were.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-76293295401503880782011-10-03T09:59:03.682-04:002011-10-03T09:59:03.682-04:00I have seen no comments on those other websites th...I have seen no comments on those other websites that I could take as constructive critism. Those people don't seem to be making comments to help me "be the best I can be." To suggest that is ludicrous. Surely not everything I wear is too small for me. Give me specific examples of things I need to size up in and do it in a polite manner, and then I'll be willing to take your advice. I cannot understand how people find my emails "brutally" honest. If anything, I find them to convey, in a way that just writing about my feelings couldn't, the internal struggle Jerry and I went through in leaving our spouses. I was not trying to be cruel, and I don't understand how they can be interpreted as such. As I've stated before, I understood the emotions involved before posting those emails and edited the emails to tell the story but not maliciously hurt anyone. I wish people understood the difference between what they think my motives were for posting the emails and what my motives actually were.Bonnie Irelandhttp://stfashionista.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-32448518197148712992011-10-03T09:33:57.464-04:002011-10-03T09:33:57.464-04:00I read your blog for your fashion, to be honest. I...I read your blog for your fashion, to be honest. I tend to skip over any of the dramatics.<br /><br />It does kinda make me irate when you let others thoughts and opinions of you dictate your feelings and mood. I think it's something everyone goes through at some point or another, but don't you see that there are millions upon millions of people in this world and you can't please all of them? Hell, you'd be lucky to please ONE. PLEASE yourself and your children. I can't shake it into you....and from what I understand you've had professional help for your feelings, but come on, Bonnie. You only get one life to live. Only YOU can choose how you live it. Why waste precious minutes and hours on reckless thoughts that only bring you down. Talk about it, get it out, but move along. There are more important things to worry about. So someone thinks you look transgender? OK, well you don't. Don't let someone tell you HOW to see yourself. <br /><br />Easier said than done, sure.....but seriously.....It's like working out and losing weight...Just freaking DO IT and things will change.<br /><br />Have a great day!Jennyhttp://prettyface59.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-92102819233068949482011-10-03T08:40:28.312-04:002011-10-03T08:40:28.312-04:00It is on GOMI. You have to read the comments; not ...It is on GOMI. You have to read the comments; not just posts. Embedded in the comments of a post on another blogger were the comments Bonnie is referring to.THnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-19387941872663726162011-10-03T07:07:01.636-04:002011-10-03T07:07:01.636-04:00I sent your blog to Robin and Adam via Facebook. I...I sent your blog to Robin and Adam via Facebook. I hope they also enjoy your honesty.Firstwivesclubnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-58432991992144783082011-10-03T04:09:23.829-04:002011-10-03T04:09:23.829-04:00Exactly, but she seems incapable of understanding ...Exactly, but she seems incapable of understanding this. Too proud or something.Anonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-22786186482968916982011-10-03T02:30:51.193-04:002011-10-03T02:30:51.193-04:00Hey! So I've been reading your blog for the pa...Hey! So I've been reading your blog for the past couple weeks, and I actually "liked" a couple negative comments from the first post of the emails. I totally feel bad about doing that now. Keep doing what you're doing! You are a wonderful person inside and out!Mollynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-50286638825419673442011-10-03T01:49:57.605-04:002011-10-03T01:49:57.605-04:00You feel awful about what strangers on the interne...You feel awful about what strangers on the internet are saying about you? I wonder how Jerry's wife and his kid feel reading about what you and Jerry did behind their back. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. You're the one who put yourself out there and defended your right to say whatever you please over and over again.Ashleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2493987722691542290.post-34538934409903775372011-10-03T01:44:01.577-04:002011-10-03T01:44:01.577-04:00I love your photos. I would love to have hair like...I love your photos. I would love to have hair like yours. And Anthropologie clothing tends to look fabulous on you -- much better than on me. I've also enjoyed reading about you and Jerry. The only thing I see wrong about posting your story openly is exposing yourself to all the nasty gossipy internet comments -- which you do NOT deserve. But the anonymity of the internet can bring out the worst in people. <br />I bet there are way more people out there who feel the way I do. I bet that a lot of the mean comments come from people who are jealous and resentful of you, and who are deeply unhappy inside. <br /><br />Anyway, I think you are great!Dlbnoreply@blogger.com